Wow, you guys had me laughing for so long.. here are some I just did on proxies. Each of them were banned too, haha!
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: LauraR
LauraR: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey, I need information REALLY quickly!
LauraR: Hello there. How can I help you?
You: Alright, so I probably shouldn't have done this, but there is this girl in school and she gives it up pretty easily, and I offered her some money to help me out, and it was a lot of fun and really exciting, but now when I go to the bathroom I have these weird purple looking pimples. I need to know what this means, but I am not 18 yet and can't go to a hospital or doctor without a parent. Is there a guide to lookup for this??? You would be saving my life if you can find something just so that I stop vomiting all this blood.
LauraR: Oh my gosh! Call 911!!
LauraR: You need to tell an adult or go see a doctor instead of searching over here.
You: But if your kid came to you with a problem like I'm having what would you say? Wouldn't you be really mad that your 12 year old son has some weird disease?? I think my mom is going to be pissed, but my uncle is going to be even more upset when he finds out he can't play "Find the Salami" with me tonight.
LauraR: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: BradleyM
BradleyM: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey Bradley, how are ya?
BradleyM: Hello, fine thanks for asking. What is it you need help with searching for today?
You: Well, I'm not very picky, but I'm looking for a good type of semi-automatic or fully automatic rifle that I can conceal easily but at the same time rack up as many office employee kills as possible. Perhaps something with a quick reloading magazine or a comfortable butt, because I want to be able to reload quickly right, and still have a good comfort level so I can REALLY get the maximum number of office kills around.
You: Also, while you're searching, can you maybe find bullets that will kill on impact? I'd hate to waste 10 or 11 rounds on one fat person.
Status: Session ended.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: SamanthaL
SamanthaL: Welcome to ChaCha!
SamanthaL: Hey there.
You: Hey right back at ya!
SamanthaL: hehe
You: I'm having trouble finding some information on a slightly embarressing topic for my girlfriend. Maybe you can help me.
SamanthaL: As long as this is serious and does not violate our nudity or obscenity rules, I'm pretty sure I can.
You: Sounds good, I'm not interested in anything like that, I just need some real serious help with one specific issue.
SamanthaL: If its sex then I don't know if we can continue this conversation.
You: Lady, I told you before, I'm not interested in that. Are you trying to hit on me now?
SamanthaL: hehe no no not at all. I'm sorry. We get a lot of abuse and not very serious people here, so 9 times out of 10 it's what I am ready to deal with.
SamanthaL: What do you need help with?
You: So now you're saying I'm not desirable?
SamanthaL: lol no
SamanthaL: Let's start over.
SamanthaL: What can I help you look for?
You: Alright good, let's be serious then.
SamanthaL: hehe okay!
You: My girlfriend got pregnant.
SamanthaL: Oh
You: So I am looking for information on options or really, what we can do about it.
SamanthaL: Can you be more specific?
You: Well, some people tell me that we should keep the child and others tell me that kids are a big issue and we should abort and wait until marriage instead. So I need some information on the abortion issues.
SamanthaL: Oh dear, that is serious. We are not supposed to give out personal information or be anything more than a guide, but as a Christian myself, I would have to say that you should keep the child. A life is a very important thing in this world and personally I would hate to give out information that may alter your decision. It's yours and your girlfriend's decision to make. You should probably see a priest about this too.
You: That's a fine speech and all, but really, all I'm trying to get information on is how the hell do I yank the hanger out of my girlfriend without it ruining her vagina, so that it's not lumpy and shit when I fuck her again tomorrow? The damn thing has been inside of her for almost 15 minutes while I sat here listening to you jabber on about god and your beliefs.
SamanthaL: That is a cruel joke, and not funny at all.
SamanthaL: I am going to have to terminate this session.
You: Hey, I'm not joking, but isn't it funny that we both have something in common today?
SamanthaL: I have nothing in common with you. You are a sick person and I should not even be speaking to you.
You: Samantha, I promise we have something in common.
You: We both woke up today not realizing that we'd be terminating something randomly today. Samantha will terminate this conversation, and I will terminate a 7 month old kid.
SamanthaL: Disgusting!
You: Wait, rusty hangers are a bad thing right?
Status: Session ended.