swashbuckler

Back in the old days there was SEO. Then one evening, in between her chores of churning butter and having a baby Mary Claire Roosevelt created what today is known as SE0. SE1 and SE2 soon followed and took the internet world by storm. As we all know, just recently NINJA SEO took over and the results are amazing. Well now the new wave is here. Introducing PirateHooker SEO!!!

What is PirateHooker SEO you ask? Good question. You will need to learn this if you want to keep earning enough money to keep your house. Unfortunatly, I cannot share with you all of the secrets of PirateHooker SEO. PirateHooker SEO is bigger than the Beetles, and giving away all the secrets for free wouldn't make sense.

However, hiring the swashbuckler to deliver 10 blog comments on PR3+ websites is a part of PirateHooker SEO. And that I can deliver.

But swashbuckler, you fucking dolt. There's nothing special about that. There are other douche's on this forum offering blog commenting.

You are correct sir's and madam's. However, there are 2 big differences why the swashbuckler's package is worth more than a wet fart.

1. every link produced in the swashbuckler SEO package will be on blogs related to your niche (so that you get the full value of the link), AND/OR they will be on blogs that your competitors are already linking to (taking away the high valued link advantages your top competitors have over you).

2. Do you speak Hindi? No, I don't. Do you speak Filipino? No, no I don't. I speak one language...English. And while my lack of range or education in languages is nothing to be proud of, it serves well here. Your posts will be on relevant blogs to your niche, or blogs linked to by your competitors. They will not be "nice post" or gibberish. They will be relevant, they will be coherent English, and they will stick (30 day guarantee).

3. Links will be on blogs with some link juice left, and the swashbuckler will use different accounts for each comment (if that's an issue).

Questions
I need, need, need to get my PirateHooker SEO started. How much do I have to pay for this awesome service?
$30 (price may change up or down over time depending on demand)


How long does it take?
Work will be done within 7 days (usually within 48 hours)...but the swashbuckler doesn't like being rushed so he goes by the underpromise and overdeliver method. There is only so much time in the day between drinking swill and stooping the wenches.


swashbuckler, you have no posts, and no cred...why would I buy anything from you?

Good point. I'll offer 2 free reviews to mods, or respected members (with those pretty orange dots), and 300+ posts.

To place an order, I will need the correct url, and the keywords you want to target...pm me

Note: Open to discussing PR 4+, PR 5+ and PR 6+ options - pricing customized to each niche and the availability of relevant links.

Come get some. arrrrrgh!!!

GetYourWriter

I'll take a free review.

swashbuckler

pm me your shiz. url and target keywords.

dogfighter

And I'll take the other

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swashbuckler

dogfighter, gets a free review.

Psk10

I'll take a free review as well - if you can provide one. (I realise that you initially offered just 2.)

The reports I produce are objective and accurate - I've a lot of experience with blog commenting work.

What you are offering - niche based - native English speaking - quality comments - with a 30 day guarantee - looks great - although price might be a bit of an issue.

But if you get 3 positive reviews here I'm sure you're service will be well received by others.

Drake

You're a Smelly Pirate Hooker.

swashbuckler

Psk10...sorry you cheap bastard, you have little posts and no cred either....aarrrghh. If you want the goods you're going to have to pay the booty....

good day.

Psk10

And good day to you as well! I'm sooooo sorry I asked for a review - check my posts - the majority are related to blog commenting.

Anyway, here's some specific questions for you that you might be able to answer:-

1. Do the blogs that you post on have their comments posted oldest first? Or are they newest first? Or dont you care?
2. Do the blogs have limits on the number of comments that can be displayed on a page? Or are all the comments for a given article just posted on the same page? Or dont you care?
3. Are all the blogs you comment on DOFOLLOW? Or dont you care?
4. Are the blogs you use mentioned in any of the Angela & Paul publications or similar schemes?
5. On average, how many OBLs (internal links and external links) do the blog pages you post on have? Or dont you care?
6. As you mentioned that you weren't sure how much to charge for your service - does this mean that your a NOVICE and you've NOT provided this service much in the past? Or if you have lots of experience, then why don't you understand the likely demand for the service?
7. Do you think calling me a "cheap bastard" is the best way to get me to pay for your service based on just the hype in your post?

But If you are offering a quality service AND are able to provide credible answers to my questions then I might consider using you - but only once I've seen the reviews from the others.

swashbuckler

yaarr, there she blows. The infamous whiny bitch of the high seas.

To answer yarr questions.

1. some do, some don't
2. some do, some don't.
3. dofollow
4. The swashbuckler follows no one other than the code of piratehooker SEO.
5. The swashbuckler never learned to count, but he only posts on forums with link juice left.
6. Right you are matey. The swashbuckler does SEO for himself, and for some clients. He uses this as one of his methods to get results. He is a novice in selling this service, and doesn't know the demand for breaking apart his services.
7 and the afterward. I'll save you the suspense. You're not invited aboard the ship matey. The swashbuckler is not a broke bastard and he doesn't need to beg for yarr shillings.

The swashbuckler is done referring to himself in the third person. aaargghh.

erect

Good job scraping the barnacles off your rudder

This thread is comic gold, good luck with sales.

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swashbuckler

yarrrr, thank you erect. Much respect to you. I shall pour a grog in ye honor.

I see my orange dots proudly. May the swashbucklers legend grow until his syphillis is detected by the lasses. yarr. time for another grog.

Psk10

Looks like you're certainly high on something and it certainly aint the high seas!

You dont want to do business with me - that's fine as its now mutual. You had your chance.

And my advice to anyone else thinking about buying your hidden treasure from you - is don't waste your time or your money!

RockDiesel

Here, I will summarize your post

I'm a crybaby because I didn't get a free review copy

Etherswift

psk10: actually, the OP presented his services in a much more entertaining and attractive way than most other service providers on WF did.. just loosen up a bit, will ya?

also, if you can't understand the fact that being called a "cheap bastard" is one of the least insulting things that can happen to you on WF, then you seriously need to (re)consider visiting the local store to buy a cup (minimum) of "sense of humor"

have a nice day.

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b1tr0t

Ha! The next time I'm in the market for some blog comments, I'm buying from you SwashBuckler, just because you made Psk10 walk the plank! Fucking hilarious.

Psk10

I didn't see it quite like that - just don't normally like being called a cheap bastard! Especially at the weekend.

But as Etherswift says its not that much of an insult here so I'll assume it was meant in good humour.

I've only been using Wickedfire to to recruit some business help. Unlike some I'm not touting business here - I'm buying. I'm buying for my own business websites - so I want the services I buy to be professional and of high quality.

Let's hope swashbuckler actually delivers something of value - and isn't just taking the piss all the time!

Now I must go to bed and hope the bogeyman doesn't catch me.

Enigmabomb

Am I to understand there is a review copy still available?

YARRRR

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Red_Virus

I will take a review copy if it is available, or send me some samples with the pricing info by pm.

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stevehnsn

Ye lazy ass landlubbers would do well to post reviews before the OP runs ye through!

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efeezy

Average Joes be the only place for Pirate Steve! Garrrrrr

So whats the current price for this and how many links are we getting? I'm tires of pissing money away on these services that fail to deliver any results whatsoever.

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Scutter

This thread is entertaining enough to try and order of the services. If your creativity shows up in your comments and helps them to stick, you've definitely got a long-term customer. PM sent.

Psk10

Looks a bit like a ghost ship to me ... or has there been a mutiny?

nomansland

That was funny. I really hate forums, seriously. About 1% of you goat fuckers have good info, the other 100% are a waste of sperm, abc's and 123's. I don't know what's worse the ever edgy, too cool for school, non-pussy getting fat fuckin senior members (NOT YOU THOUGH) or the dumb as ever loving fuck noobs that ask the same dumb fucking questions over and over and over and over and over. Noobs are worse than Christians.

erect

so ...

noobs < christians < fat ass seniors < dullspace

Where exactly do goat fuckers fit into the equation?

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Walton Capital isn't scarce; vision is