Has anyone here read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'? - WickedFire - Affiliate Marketing Forum

krazyjosh5 · 07-18-2007, 12:51 PM

I just finished reading the first chapter and was having trouble understanding it. I was hoping someone whos read it could help me to draw the correct conclusion.

It says not to criticise people, complain, etc...

How do you do this??

If I rely on someone to do a job, and they do a shitty job because they were just lazy, for example, Id get angry. Thats a pretty legitimate response, Id say, but I dont understand how in that situation, where someone's choice to be lazy, should not be criticised.

Or, if someone is just acting immature, wouldnt you want to call them out and repremand them for acting so.

I mean if someone makes a conscious decision to be lazy, how can you NOT criticise that? It would seem like not criticising them would be letting them get away with it, perpetuating the cycle of lazyness.

Also, how would one repremand people in those instances? It seems like Carnegie almost wants someone to be a 'crafty pushover'. Crafty in the sense that we should make some kind of witty comment about someone messing up and pushover in the sense that we should let/hope they take that witty comment into consideration and correct themselves.

grimtrigger · 07-18-2007, 01:43 PM

Carnegie is a pussy. Read Machiavelli.

barman · 07-18-2007, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grimtrigger

Carnegie is a pussy. Read Machiavelli.

Miguel · 07-18-2007, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grimtrigger

Carnegie is a pussy. Read Machiavelli.

Lol now that's a first post.

engaged · 07-18-2007, 03:16 PM

listen, doesn't he give some examples... like someone fucked up a plane or something, but he says i understand you're a fuck up, but I'm certain you won't do this again... something like that... of course dealing with indians its a little different, b/c they'll keep doing it over and over. it's b/c they're retarded... unfortunately there isn't a chapter about dealing with retards in business, sorry.

wesley · 07-18-2007, 03:22 PM

Read chapter 2.. Just read the entire book before asking questions (note i have never read this particular book)

Lord Brar · 07-18-2007, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krazyjosh5

I just finished reading the first chapter and was having trouble understanding it. I was hoping someone whos read it could help me to draw the correct conclusion.

It says not to criticise people, complain, etc...

How do you do this??

If I rely on someone to do a job, and they do a shitty job because they were just lazy, for example, Id get angry. Thats a pretty legitimate response, Id say, but I dont understand how in that situation, where someone's choice to be lazy, should not be criticised.

Or, if someone is just acting immature, wouldnt you want to call them out and repremand them for acting so.

I mean if someone makes a conscious decision to be lazy, how can you NOT criticise that? It would seem like not criticising them would be letting them get away with it, perpetuating the cycle of lazyness.

Also, how would one repremand people in those instances? It seems like Carnegie almost wants someone to be a 'crafty pushover'. Crafty in the sense that we should make some kind of witty comment about someone messing up and pushover in the sense that we should let/hope they take that witty comment into consideration and correct themselves.

Scenario #1 - Dude you are such a tard that you can't even even understand what he said in such simple words? Go Fucking read it again.

Scenario #2 - Yeah Mate! Dale was an amazing author and wrote good stuff, but I know more than few people who took some time to grasp exactly what he meant to say. It may be a good idea to re-read the chapter.

The bottomline of this chapter is that no one likes criticism or being told that they are wrong. There are two ways to point out a negative point -- direct and indirect. And you must always choose the indirect way.

Lord Brar · 07-18-2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by engaged

listen, doesn't he give some examples... like someone fucked up a plane or something, but he says i understand you're a fuck up, but I'm certain you won't do this again... something like that... of course dealing with indians its a little different, b/c they'll keep doing it over and over. it's b/c they're retarded... unfortunately there isn't a chapter about dealing with retards in business, sorry.

:P Then you should better spend time reading some HR books. Read the link in my signature for heavens sake before stereotyping.

Cellphone · 07-18-2007, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krazyjosh5

I just finished reading the first chapter and was having trouble understanding it. I was hoping someone whos read it could help me to draw the correct conclusion.

It says not to criticise people, complain, etc...

How do you do this??

If I rely on someone to do a job, and they do a shitty job because they were just lazy, for example, Id get angry. Thats a pretty legitimate response, Id say, but I dont understand how in that situation, where someone's choice to be lazy, should not be criticised.

Or, if someone is just acting immature, wouldnt you want to call them out and repremand them for acting so.

I mean if someone makes a conscious decision to be lazy, how can you NOT criticise that? It would seem like not criticising them would be letting them get away with it, perpetuating the cycle of lazyness.

Also, how would one repremand people in those instances? It seems like Carnegie almost wants someone to be a 'crafty pushover'. Crafty in the sense that we should make some kind of witty comment about someone messing up and pushover in the sense that we should let/hope they take that witty comment into consideration and correct themselves.

You should read the entire book first instead of jumping to conclusions.

Lord Brar · 07-18-2007, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grimtrigger

Carnegie is a pussy. Read Machiavelli.

Totally different topics. Carnegie is more about human relations and Machiavelli is about diplomacy. I've read most of Carnegie's books and also Machiavelli (The Prince and Art of War) and the basic philosophies of influencing humans never change.

The best book on the topic is Cialdini's Influence -- The Psychology of Persuasion. It's even far better than Dale's book.

Christopher · 07-18-2007, 03:50 PM

I know some people that read Carnegie every day like the Bible - it is ridiculous!!!

by the the way, who can recommend me good NLP (neuro-linguistic psicology) books???

ExEnigma · 07-18-2007, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Brar

Totally different topics. Carnegie is more about human relations and Machiavelli is about diplomacy. I've read most of Carnegie's books and also Machiavelli (The Prince and Art of War) and the basic philosophies of influencing humans never change.

The best book on the topic is Cialdini's Influence -- The Psychology of Persuasion. It's even far better than Dale's book.

Unless Machiavelli was a 6th Century Chinese Military Strategist I think you might be a little off.

-Ex

engaged · 07-18-2007, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Brar

:P Then you should better spend time reading some HR books. Read the link in my signature for heavens sake before stereotyping.

how about you spend some time licking my nuts

Lord Brar · 07-18-2007, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExEnigma

Unless Machiavelli was a 6th Century Chinese Military Strategist I think you might be a little off.

-Ex

Machiavelli: Art of War: Contents

Lord Brar · 07-18-2007, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by engaged

how about you spend some time licking my nuts

I tend to avoid STD infested things.

07-18-2007, 12:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
krazyjosh5 theres GOLD in dem tubes! Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 1,018 iTrader: (3)	Has anyone here read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'? I just finished reading the first chapter and was having trouble understanding it. I was hoping someone whos read it could help me to draw the correct conclusion. It says not to criticise people, complain, etc... How do you do this?? If I rely on someone to do a job, and they do a shitty job because they were just lazy, for example, Id get angry. Thats a pretty legitimate response, Id say, but I dont understand how in that situation, where someone's choice to be lazy, should not be criticised. Or, if someone is just acting immature, wouldnt you want to call them out and repremand them for acting so. I mean if someone makes a conscious decision to be lazy, how can you NOT criticise that? It would seem like not criticising them would be letting them get away with it, perpetuating the cycle of lazyness. Also, how would one repremand people in those instances? It seems like Carnegie almost wants someone to be a 'crafty pushover'. Crafty in the sense that we should make some kind of witty comment about someone messing up and pushover in the sense that we should let/hope they take that witty comment into consideration and correct themselves.

07-18-2007, 01:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
grimtrigger Junior Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 12 iTrader: (0)	Carnegie is a pussy. Read Machiavelli.

07-18-2007, 03:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
engaged I can get it juicy for ya Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,487 iTrader: (1)	listen, doesn't he give some examples... like someone fucked up a plane or something, but he says i understand you're a fuck up, but I'm certain you won't do this again... something like that... of course dealing with indians its a little different, b/c they'll keep doing it over and over. it's b/c they're retarded... unfortunately there isn't a chapter about dealing with retards in business, sorry.

07-18-2007, 03:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
wesley Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 441 iTrader: (0)	Read chapter 2.. Just read the entire book before asking questions (note i have never read this particular book)

07-18-2007, 03:50 PM	#11 (permalink)
Christopher Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 62 iTrader: (0)	I know some people that read Carnegie every day like the Bible - it is ridiculous!!! by the the way, who can recommend me good NLP (neuro-linguistic psicology) books???