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Old 10-09-2007, 11:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Orly Jewish Joke Thread

Okay, for all you meshugeneh mother fuckers, I present....

The Jewish Joke Thread.

Why pick on the poor Jews? Lord knows they've had it tough. Well, simple, because the Jews I know on this forum seem to have the best sense of humor about their religion and are probably the least likely to try and kill me for this. Although, they may try to sue me. *rim shot*

So...without further adeiu...I'll start....

Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
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Because they have to have everything 20% off!
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Old 10-09-2007, 11:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Why do Jews have such big noses?
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Because air is FREE!!
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Old 10-09-2007, 11:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What's the great Jewish dilemma?
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Free pork.
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Old 10-09-2007, 11:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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How was copper wire invented?
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2 Jews fighting over a penny.
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Old 10-09-2007, 11:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Israeli air force pilots can turn on a dime.
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Then they go back and pick it up.
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Old 10-10-2007, 12:15 AM   #6 (permalink)
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What do Jews do when friends leave their house?
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They look for loose change in the couch cushions.
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Old 10-10-2007, 12:20 AM   #7 (permalink)
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How do you know when a pedophile is Jewish?
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He's the one hiding in the bushes, trying to SELL candy to kids.
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Old 10-10-2007, 12:33 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Why do Jews have so many kids?
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Cheap labor.
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Old 10-10-2007, 12:39 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stanley View Post
What's the great Jewish dilemma?
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Free pork.
Or pork on sale.
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Old 10-10-2007, 12:52 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.
"Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going?".
"Oy vey, Abraham, it's not going so good, we had a flood last week."
"So, Morrie," whispers Abraham "How do you start a flood?".
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Old 10-10-2007, 02:48 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Have you seen the newest Jewish-American Princess horror movie ?
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It's called "Debbie Does Dishes".
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Old 10-10-2007, 03:03 AM   #12 (permalink)
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An old Jew is lying in his deadbead, his last minutes are clearly upon him.
His sons are with him in this hour.
Wheezing, he asks "Abraham, are you there?"
"Yes, father, I am here. I am here."
Gasping, he utters "Yezekiel, are you here?"
"Yes, father. I am." Yezekiel answers, close to tears.
Once more, he draws a breath to ask "And Jonathan, are you?"
"Yes, dad. We are all here with you."
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"And who the fuck is running the shop?"
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Old 10-10-2007, 08:07 AM   #13 (permalink)
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STAR OF DAVID......

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Mexico City. One
is holding a cross and one a Star of David. Both are holding
hats to collect contributions. People walk by, lift their
noses at the man with the Star of David and drop money in
the hat held by the man with the cross.

Soon the hat of the man with the cross is filled and the hat
of the man with the Star of David is empty.

A priest watches & then approaches the men. He turns to the
man with the star of David and says: "Young man. Don't you
realize that this is a Catholic country? You'll never get
any contributions in this country holding a Star of David."

The man with the Star of David turns to the man with the
cross and says: "Moishe, can you imagine, this guy is
trying to tell us how to run our business!"
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