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Old 10-14-2007, 09:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
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LMT #1: Using Child Labor For Lunch Money

Quick note: I often think of silly ways to make little bits of money. I'm not talking about making $10,000 a month. I'm talking about making just enough juice to pay for lunch.

The reason I'm putting this in the STS section is because serious affiliate marketers should only be reading this stuff for a chuckle. So, it doesn't really belong in the Affiliate Marketing section. But, a few of you may need ideas to make a little cash and you're willing to put in some effort.

I haven't been around WickedFire long enough to know if this sort of post is completely unwelcome. If it is, just tell me to shut up and I will. No hard feelings at all.

So, here's Lunch Money Tip #1:

This is about getting kids to promote CPA offers for you. Here's how it works.

Step 1 - Find some kids. I wouldn't recommend hanging around outside elementary schools. But, with a little creativity, you'll find 'em. Heck, start with a few nephews and nieces, if necessary.

Step 2 - Get some domains. Let's say you're going to promote ringtones. Grab 10 domains with "ringtones" in the domains. I'll tell you why in Step 3.

Step 3 - Each kid you "hire" gets their own domain. Don't give 'em the domain. Just reserve it for them to send people to. I'll explain more in Step 5.

Step 4 - Give the kids you "hire" the following pitch... "Hey kid, here's how you can make some easy money and your mom doesn't even need to know. Send people to "freckledringtones.com". For every person who signs up, I'll give you $6.00. Easy money. They get free ringtones. You get $6.00 for each person. Your mom will wonder why you're offering to take her and your dad out to that nice restaurant!"

Side note: the above numbers assume you're getting paid more than $6.00 per ringtone lead from the CPA network you're using.

Step 5 - Let's say you have 10 kids willing to "work for you." You set up the 10 ringtone domains. Just use one subid for each domain. So, the freckled kid gets the subid "freckles." The ugly kid gets the subid "ugly." And so on.

Step 6 - Quality control. You may need to tell the kids, "Listen, you can't spam everyone on Myspace. If you do, I'll get in trouble. And if I get in trouble, I'm gonna tell your mom to take your Xbox and give it to some kid in Uganda."

Also tell them, "No funny business. If you try to sign up with the same contact information 20 times, I'll know and give 'your site' to someone who plays fair." (You won't really know, of course. But, the merchant will be scrubbing them anyway, so it's the same result.)

Step 7 - Give the kids ideas to promote their sites. Tell them to tell friends to visit "their domain" and get some free ringtones. Tell them to wallpaper parking lots with flyers. Tell them to write "their domain" on bathroom walls. Tell them to bully smaller kids into getting the ringtones. Tell them to get other kids to "work for them" for $3.00 per lead.

Step 8 - Hold a contest amongst the kids. Get the kids all worked up by telling them that if they clear XX leads next week, you'll bump them to $7.50 for that week. But, they have to meet the goal.

Geez, you've just created your own affiliate network. Watch out Copeac.

Okay, that's Lunch Money Tip #1. Silly, I know. Some of the $100,000/month net affiliates are likely saying, "Oh brother, what an idiot."

But, I'll bet there's at least one person out there thinking to himself, "Hmmm... even better, I'll take out some Adwords and Yahoo ads to "hire" kids all over the U.S. and scale this up!"

In any case, if you've made it this far, I hope you've at least cracked a small grin.

By the way, when I write, I often have diarrhea of the fingers. I love writing. My apologies for that.
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Old 10-14-2007, 09:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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thats a pretty good post for being drunk
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Old 10-14-2007, 10:18 PM   #3 (permalink)
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you basically explained how affiliate marketing works, except everywhere you said kid would be affiliate. Proving that the real money is being the advertiser not the affiliate :P

I get the idea, but its creepy as hell.
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Old 10-14-2007, 11:06 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hahaha... nice post. But substitue "women" for kids, "pussy" for website and ringtones. Observe:

Step 7 - Give the women ideas to promote their pussy. Tell them to tell friends to visit "their pussy" and get some free pussy. Tell them to wallpaper parking lots with flyers. Tell them to write "their pussy" on bathroom walls. Tell them to bully smaller women into getting the pussy. Tell them to get other women to "work for them" for $3.00 per lead.
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Old 10-15-2007, 11:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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crazyotter crazyotter crazyotter crazyotter crazyotter crazyotter crazyotter crazyotter crazyotter crazyotter crazyotter
Find some kids hey? Why not just look on this forum
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Old 10-16-2007, 10:54 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Yeah good point. Just look on the forum. Creepy, but I get your point.
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Old 10-16-2007, 03:46 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Ha ha ha I can just imagine the OP being the creepy guy at the playground that wanders around in a black trenchcoat going, "hey kid... want to make some drug money?"
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