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Old 07-20-2011, 07:26 AM   #1
dogdaze
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Douchebag Ethics of Poisoning My Neighbor's Dog

4:04AM PST

My next door neighbors recently got a dog (I'd say 3 months ago, but not 100% sure) and about a month ago this dog started to bark in the middle of the night at 4AM like clockwork. It's some kind of pit bull mix and I'm not really sure why a month ago it started barking at this time so consistently, but my window faces their house and I hear it every night.

About half of the time the neighbors come out and tell it to shut up, as I expect it to since they live closest to the barking dog, but the other half of the time they usually don't hear it (not sure how this is possible) and it barks for hours on end preventing me from sleeping the rest of the night.

I'm a pretty calm and reasonable human being but I also like to think I deserve some respect and rights, like getting a good night sleep and not being woken up every day at 4 in the morning. Some of you may disagree about my mental state of health after I am about to tell my plans to you, but I still must stress that I am not a fringe psychopath; but I must resort to these measures.

I have tried to talk to my neighbors. Initially they were apologetic, telling me they are sorry and would get it under control, but since then (after my 3rd time coming to their house) have been rather dismissive and non-cooperative. Thing's didn't get any better after I phoned the city and filed a complaint and had the health inspector come to their house to make sure nothing strange was going on and they now treat me with contempt and scowl at me whenever they see me.

The city didn't really do anything except make the neighbors hate me more, and I have asked people around me if barking dogs bother them, but no one besides me seems to hear it (this house is on the corner of the street and I am the only one that directly next to it). The strangest part is dealing with the city, since there are laws about this exact situations, yet instead of sending police they send a health inspector. On my follow up call telling them that the health inspector didn't solve the problem at all and just made the neighbors pissed off at me (it's obvious that I called them in), I got some mumbo jumbo to the tune of - "Hey buddy, we're in a recession right now! We've got more important things to worry about, leave us alone, there's people getting murdered in the streets and you're wasting our time complaining about a dog. Yadda yadda."

Regrettably this is my last resort: to poison my neighbor's dog.

Yes, I have tried diplomacy. I have tried sleeping facing away from the neighbor's house and used professional grade ear plugs. I'm a pretty light sleeper so I guess this is my fault in that regard. Still, I don't see any other solution to this problem. The neighbors seem to be some kind of uncivilized hillbillies that are involved in construction work, meaning they are gone during most of the day and come back exhausted to the point where they can sleep through their own dog barking through the night, and don't respect people around them.

I have done the research and figured it would be fairly simple. I would need to either buy a ton of rat poison and cook it into meatballs or just mix it in with raw meat, or soak some french bread in anti-freeze. Just for good measure and to guarantee a clean death I would probably do both. During the day that dog is chained in the back yard (and this is a miserable, neglected dog, so I think it would be a blessing for the animal), so I think I could quickly climb over the fence and do the deed while they are at work with little chance of being seen or caught while doing it.

But like I said, I still consider myself a reasonably sane person so doing something like this or being forced to these kinds of circumstances doesn't really quite align with my morals. Not to mention it would probably be pretty obvious that it was me who poisoned their dog, if they find out that the dog was actually poisoned and not died of natural causes. But what else are my options?
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Old 07-20-2011, 07:34 AM   #2
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Steal the dog and find a better home for him. The dog is no doubt neglected, otherwise he would be less inclined to bark all night.

I've been where you're at, with constant barking from neighbors... I've always been able to rid any dogs I've had of bad behaviour, but other people have a high tolerance for that kind of noise.

If you're willing to kill it, at least have the decency to steal it and place it elsewhere.

Edit: Just noticed you clearly said the dog was neglected... even more reason to find a better life for him. You'll thank yourself in the end. If you do what you're planning; stand there and watch the poor thing end his miserable life twitching and suffering for who knows how long cause of the dirty chemicals you feed it.
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Old 07-20-2011, 07:43 AM   #3
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My friend suggested this to me, but this is a full grown, aggressive pitbull. Besides the fact that it would require several people, would be loud and probably seen by others, this dog would probably be able to injure people. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing this or having my friends attempt it just due to the safety risk it poses.

And trust me, I feel the greatest remorse being forced to do this. I love animals and would do this under a heavy heart. But unfortunately this seems to be my only resort. Not being able to sleep 75% of the nights can really drive a person crazy, and here we are.
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Old 07-20-2011, 08:05 AM   #4
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I'd find another way, but like I said: I've been in your situation. My uncle killed his neighbor (blew his head off with a 12-guage) after coming home to discover his dog had been beat to death with a shovel... he fully well admitted to letting the dog bark all the time.

In the end karma caught up with the neighbor, who probably had been driven insane like you have.

If your gonna kill it, use a gun, or score something that will make it painless (don't know where.) Antifreeze is an agonizing death and the dog probably wouldn't eat enough rat poison to fully kill him (or at least, quickly.)

Like I mentioned: you're killing the dog because of an irresponsible owner -- then making him suffer a long agonizing death to boot.
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Old 07-20-2011, 08:06 AM   #5
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Is this a spam message; joined today; UN is related to the post and the post is nothing to do with marketing. This is sort of odd so my suspicions are raised. Maybe it's just me.

Anyway regarding the dog, have you wondered if maybe you live in the matrix and actually Neo 'there is no dog', after all you said you're the only one who can hear it which makes me wonder? Either that or you might be schizophrenic and you're alter ego is the dog and if that's the case poison it at your peril!

On the other hand if your psychiatrist is convinced woofy is real, how about taking your neighbors round 3 presents. A lamp post, manikin, and an old boot in hope that it might relent barking in favor of marking territory, shagging or chewing?
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Old 07-20-2011, 08:22 AM   #6
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if dog neglected by his owner you can complaint to animal cruelty organizations.
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Old 07-20-2011, 08:22 AM   #7
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Get one of the stop barking devices. There are a million of them. Many of them are motion activated or sound.

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Old 07-20-2011, 08:42 AM   #8
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Ethics aside, isn't this illegal? And even if it weren't, you should be prepared for a lawsuit or something.
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Old 07-20-2011, 08:45 AM   #9
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Not sure what I'd do, but I'd definitely post my plans publicly (which are against criminal law) on the internet.
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Old 07-20-2011, 08:49 AM   #10
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How to Hush a Bothersome Barking Dog Video

Watch the video ^

Otherwise, do this:


Dexter didn't kill it, so neither should you.
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Old 07-20-2011, 08:58 AM   #11
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If you poison the dog, the owners may wonder what happened and get blood tests done at a vet (we had a dog die, and found out it was from a rare type of mushroom that shut down the dogs liver).

Now, if they do so and find out it was a type of poison, well...who do you think they are going to look at? I mean, there's no way they'd turn their suspicions to the neighbor who has visited them several times, and also called the city on them, right?

Dumb idea.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:16 AM   #12
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Kill the Bastard. All Neighbors are Dogs Anyways.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:28 AM   #13
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What I'm Going to Tell You Is Not To Be Taken Seriously.

I've NEVER Done This or Anything Like This.

I'm just Imagining How I Would Do It If I Knew What I'm Talking About.

What you'll need:

Poisonous mushroom for "cause of death"
Potassium cyanide for actual cause of death
Angus Steak (one or two cubes tops) - buy from a grocer, not supermarket with good record keeping.

If you use a conservative amount of potassium cyanide on a piece of steak and include some HANDTORN mushroom pieces, it'll be very hard to detect (because it'll go through the bloodstream) while killing the dog. Buy the items over three different counties in cash and wait a few days before you consider doing anything.

Also, make an alibi for yourself: If you just happen to have spent two days at a casino/hotel no one would suspect that you took at cab back to your house for the night to stop in the backyard for 5 minutes.

Again... I don't know you and this isn't real advice.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:30 AM   #14
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Quote:
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What I'm Going to Tell You Is Not To Be Taken Seriously.

I've NEVER Done This or Anything Like This.

I'm just Imagining How I Would Do It If I Knew What I'm Talking About.

What you'll need:

Poisonous mushroom for "cause of death"
Potassium cyanide for actual cause of death
Angus Steak (one or two cubes tops) - buy from a grocer, not supermarket with good record keeping.

If you use a conservative amount of potassium cyanide on a piece of steak and include some HANDTORN mushroom pieces, it'll be very hard to detect (because it'll go through the bloodstream) while killing the dog. Buy the items over three different counties in cash and wait a few days before you consider doing anything.

Also, make an alibi for yourself: If you just happen to have spent two days at a casino/hotel no one would suspect that you took at cab back to your house for the night to stop in the backyard for 5 minutes.

Again... I don't know you and this isn't real advice.
too many movies?
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:31 AM   #15
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Just call the cops every morning at 4 am. The neighbors will get tired of cops at their door and find another home for the dog, or figure out some other solution. It's a routine noise complaint. Also if they don't comply then they'll get ticketed and have to pay a fine.

Also, not sure if you have a neighborhood association group, but if you do, get all of your neighbors to complain and they can fine the noisy neighbor as well.

Killing the dog is criminal and people have been locked up for this.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:33 AM   #16
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Killing the dog is criminal and people have been locked up for this.
We live in a shitty world. Where has all our freedom gone?
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:34 AM   #17
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Why don't you give us your address and we can exterminate your dumb ass first, problem solved!

Seriously fucktard, call the cops.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:45 AM   #18
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Why don't you give us your address and we can exterminate your dumb ass first, problem solved!

Seriously fucktard, call the cops.
Dipshit, learn to read, he DID call the pigs. As normal, they sat on their fat asses and did nothing.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:02 AM   #19
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Noobs, train the fucker Stop Dog Barking with the Dog Silencer Pro - Safe, Humane Anti Bark Control Products Bark Control Product
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:07 AM   #20
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Asking about the ethics of this situation is going to get you a wide range of responses since it's somewhat subjective. Instead, I would focus on how to solve the problem in the best way possible. Poisoning the dog seems like a high-risk, low-reward situation with a moderate chance of getting caught since you would immediately be suspect. Instead, I would keep calling the cops when it happens while looking into other options.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:09 AM   #21
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:12 AM   #22
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Tough situation OP, I feel for you being a light sleeper myself.

My parents had a dog with a similar barking problem a few years back. They got it one of those bark control collars and the problem was corrected within a week.

At least get you neighbor one of these first before you kill the thing.

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Old 07-20-2011, 10:16 AM   #23
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Dipshit, learn to read, he DID call the pigs. As normal, they sat on their fat asses and did nothing.
In most places the cops really have nothing they can do.

I live in Toronto and everything dog-related is to be done by our animal control:

1. You have to first place a call to complain, in order for the animal control officer to come do an investigation. He then in turn does whatever an investigation entails, then gives the owner a warning

2. After the warning stage, the dog owner is given a small fine if they don't comply.

3. It's only on your third complaint that animal control can send the dog owner to court for possible heavy fines.

4. Animal control can take the dog if it appears abused neglected.

None of this has anything to do with police -- you can't even call them on animal-related matters. All they can do is ask the owner to try and quiet the dog down... no legal action at all if it isn't physically harming anyone.

I would never let my dog act that way. He gets too much love and exercise. However the law in most states and provinces say usually state something to the effect of: "Everyone has a different level of tolerance for noise levels and the law does everything it can to accomodate the majority. Yadda yadda yadda."
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:22 AM   #24
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If the city and cops don't care, how about a blow horn pointed in their direction a few nights in a row? Seriously, leave the fuckin dog alone. Your neighbours might be retarded but it's not the dog's fault. If you say the cops don't give a shit then it's simple, start blasting your music every night at 4 am, setting off fireworks, shooting off cap guns, get a blownhorn, they'll get the idea eventually.

Or play a recording of the most annoying sound you can find but make sure it's 12 times louder than the dog.

Here are some good choices:



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Old 07-20-2011, 10:27 AM   #25
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We live in a shitty world. Where has all our freedom gone?

I'm all for individual liberty, but killing his neighbors dog is essentially destroying his neighbors property and is one of the few things I agree should be illegal.

There are other, better approaches to fix this.

And all those saying he did call the cops, the only thing I read was that he filed a complaint with the city. Is that the same thing? I had a neighbor who would let her Shih Tzu sit outside for hours barking. I just called a filed a noise complaint. The cops showed up at her door and told her keep the dog quiet. I think she smokes a lot of weed, so just having the cops at her door made her really nervous and she complied. Granted she gives me dirty looks every time she sees me, but the dog isn't an issue any more.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:31 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
Dipshit, learn to read, he DID call the pigs. As normal, they sat on their fat asses and did nothing.
No, he called the "city" you festering bag of cocks.

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The city didn't really do anything except make the neighbors hate me more, and I have asked people around me if barking dogs bother them, but no one besides me seems to hear it (this house is on the corner of the street and I am the only one that directly next to it). The strangest part is dealing with the city, since there are laws about this exact situations, yet instead of sending police they send a health inspector. On my follow up call telling them that the health inspector didn't solve the problem at all and just made the neighbors pissed off at me (it's obvious that I called them in), I got some mumbo jumbo to the tune of - "Hey buddy, we're in a recession right now! We've got more important things to worry about, leave us alone, there's people getting murdered in the streets and you're wasting our time complaining about a dog. Yadda yadda."
If there is a law against the noise, you call the police EVERY time it happens. You don't call the city, you call 911, every fucking night. You don't have a conversation with the fucking health inspector.

Regardless, considering the option of killing a dog because their owners are shitbags shows you are a 1. Fucking moron 2. Piece of shit.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:32 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by music4mic View Post
I'm all for individual liberty, but killing his neighbors dog is essentially destroying his neighbors property and is one of the few things I agree should be illegal.

There are other, better approaches to fix this.

And all those saying he did call the cops, the only thing I read was that he filed a complaint with the city. Is that the same thing? I had a neighbor who would let her Shih Tzu sit outside for hours barking. I just called a filed a noise complaint. The cops showed up at her door and told her keep the dog quiet. I think she smokes a lot of weed, so just having the cops at her door made her really nervous and she complied. Granted she gives me dirty looks every time she sees me, but the dog isn't an issue any more.
If a man can't murder a dog then what can he murder?
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Is this how your generation spend your time? Seriously, we need a proper fucking war or something to give you some purpose.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:39 AM   #28
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if that link bigwill posted doesnt work then you really have no other option

send it to heaven
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:42 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by danke View Post
If a man can't murder a dog then what can he murder?
I say children and domesticated pets are off-limits. I killed a lot of animals before I got into humans and trust me: Your conscience will come back to haunt you!

This post must be trolling though. Who joins an IM forum to ask such troll-like questions?
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:46 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by IMHopeful View Post
I say children and domesticated pets are off-limits. I killed a lot of animals before I got into humans and trust me: Your conscience will come back to haunt you!

This post must be trolling though. Who joins an IM forum to ask such troll-like questions?
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:46 AM   #31
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music4mic has it right.

Another option:

Headphones + this...



* Great for drowning out loud kids and women, too. I use it every day.


As for killing the dog...


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Old 07-20-2011, 11:00 AM   #32
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Man, I have THIS EXACT PROBLEM.

I live in a small (4 unit) apartment building and the new neighbors downstairs have a dog that does NOT shutup. It barks all day, all night. It's so annoying and yes, it seriously causes a person to become stressed out especially when subjected to it relentlessly for weeks on end. Being woken up constantly is not fun.

Here's how I'm currently resolving the situation:

1) After a few weeks of the noise and realizing it wasn't going to stop on it's own - I contacted the landlord and explained the situation. He talked with them about it, but the problem did not stop (obviously most negligent dog owners don't correct the problem at this time).

2) I began calling the landlord at all hours of the day and night whenever the dog was barking. Even it was 3am, I was blowing up my landlord's phone.

3) After talking to the people twice and after getting tired of me calling him all the time, he issued them a warning letter stating that if the problem did not stop, they would be facing eviction as the other tenants are complaining about it constantly.

4) The dog still barks. The landlord was here the other day and I had him in my apartment so he could hear it for himself. He told me they will be getting another warning, and THE NEXT TIME the dog barks late at night - he will issue an eviction against them. They've had plenty of warnings and plenty of time to correct the situation.

In your case, if it's a private residence (ie, you don't have a property management company to complain to) and the dog is truly neglected, you need to call the SPCA/Humane Society. They will send investigators out and will not blow you off like the city did. They take their job very seriously. Even if the dog is not neglected, it can still be removed from the property as a nuisance animal (barks for more than 30 min without stopping).

Whatever you do, do not poison that poor dog. Fight the owner, not the animal. Plus, if you get caught you WILL go to jail for animal crulety.

I've had to move out of places before because of barking dogs so I know how it is, but hang in there. This time I decided to set my foot down and fight the bastards.

Best of luck, let us know how it goes.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:13 AM   #33
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There are devices available online for this.. This is the first result on google for "dog barker"
Works up to 3X farther than the competition!
From the website -
The choice of veterinarians, kennel owners and satisfied customers worldwide! Stop Your Dog Or Your Neighbor’s Dog From Barking. The Entire Neighborhood Will Thank You.

Stop Dog Barking with the Dog Silencer Pro - Safe, Humane Anti Bark Control Product
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:17 AM   #34
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If you weren't clearly such a pussy, they'd have probably shut the dog up by now. But hey, you thought it would be a good idea to call the health inspector.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:41 AM   #35
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I feel like I should clarify some things (or people aren't reading the original post?).

I didn't call the health inspector. I first called the police who told me to fuck off in so many words and call the city instead. I called the city and they said they would send out a health inspector to make sure the house is decent condition and that the dog isn't living in squalor. That essentially didn't accomplish anything as their house is fine and not a squalor. Calls back to the city essentially tell me since their living conditions check out I can not claim it's animal abuse and that they have more important things to deal with like the crime rate or something.

While I said the dog is being neglected, I don't really have a case. The dog is simply chained up in the back yard at most of the hours of the day, but they do walk it every now and then and feed it/keep it reasonably groomed (it's a short haired pitbull and doesn't really need that much grooming). From the outside everything looks fine and the whole "animal abuse" excuse isn't going to fly.

And I would like to reiterate that I'm not a bad person. I wouldn't enjoy killing this dog. I love animals and I am not a violent person. But this is seriously ruining my life. I have a feeling some people don't understand what it's like to be woken up at 4AM in the morning on a regular basis. Perhaps run this experiment: go to sleep at 11-12 every night but set the alarm for 4AM and do this for a week in a row and tell me how you feel. This kind of regiment is making me depressed and suicidal. I have considered moving but since I own this property it's not that simple. And I don't feel that I should

Essentially these neighbors have ruined my life. I have a feeling that after the health inspector incident they have began to hate me more and are willingly letting their dog bark out of spite. My other neighbors claim they don't hear anything but I think it's more of a "I don't want to get involved" stance more than anything. This is a relatively small neighborhood and everyone knows everyone else for years and tries to stay out of everyone's way as much as possible.

And I'm almost positive that anti-bark sonic wave is complete bull. I'll give it a try though before I go through with the diabolical deed, I'll let you all know how it goes.

Even thinking about what I am going to have to do is making me sick and giving me night-terrors and nightmares in the little time that I do get to sleep.

And yes, it would be obvious if this dog ends up dead that it was I who planned the scheme. I will attempt to make it appear as much as natural as possible as far as picking the poison goes, but if I get caught I will accept the punishment. Paying a fine will be worth if it if I can finally get some rest in my house.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:46 AM   #36
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tranquilizer dart + long drive
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:46 AM   #37
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Interesting note: the response of the people of this thread to my issue with the dog (disdain, disgust, no sympathy and ignorance) is similar to the reaction I received when dealing with the city. I was actually told on the phone to go buy some ear plugs.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:57 AM   #38
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And I would like to reiterate that I'm not a bad person.
Talk is cheap. It's like someone saying they're a good parent, great driver, or fantastic lover.

Actions speak more loudly.
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:04 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by IMHopeful View Post
Steal the dog and find a better home for him.

First sentence of first reply nailed it.
Don't kill the dog dude lol
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:04 PM   #40
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Never move to Thailand then. Get woken up by barking dogs been a daily occurrence for me for about the past 16 months. I especially love it when a street dog finds their way here at 4am, and all the dogs (including mine) begin barking in unison.

BTW... I make a thread wondering where my dog would be better off (village or with us), and I get totally blasted for it by everyone. This guy actually wants to commit pre-meditated murder against a dog, and you guys are giving him support and sympathy. WTF?
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:05 PM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dogdaze View Post
I have a feeling some people don't understand what it's like to be woken up at 4AM in the morning on a regular basis. Perhaps run this experiment: go to sleep at 11-12 every night but set the alarm for 4AM and do this for a week in a row and tell me how you feel. This kind of regiment is making me depressed and suicidal. I have considered moving but since I own this property it's not that simple. And I don't feel that I should
Go to sleep at 9PM and you'll get 7 hours of sleep and be more productive.
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:11 PM   #42
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I fully understand that you are going through a headache. But like I said, why not try and play the childish games since they don't seem to care at this point. You're already being awoken up at 4 am. Set some big ass speakers outside and blare some heavy metal right in their fucking face. Go honk your car horn. Maybe that will get the message across.

My neighbour turned up the music ONCE on Sunday at 9 am to the point it was shaking my whole room. I told him if it ever happens again I'm going to start blasting my shit at 4 am (day job so he needs his sleep). It's been quiet ever since. You need to put your foot down but don't be stupid about it. e.g. killing the damn dog

You'll end up in more trouble than it's worth anyhow. I would try and become a nuisance myself before taking more drastic measures. Some people just don't fucking get it and you need to step down to their level, unfortunately.
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:21 PM   #43
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My uncle killed his neighbor (blew his head off with a 12-guage) after coming home to discover his dog had been beat to death with a shovel..
what happened to your uncle?
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:21 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by Adscend_Jeremy View Post
First sentence of first reply nailed it.
Don't kill the dog dude lol
Read the rest of the thread. It's a full grown, aggressive pitbull. I don't want to injure myself or my friends, as well as trying to kidnap this dog would probably be very noisy and conspicuous.
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:26 PM   #45
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I had almost the exact same problem last summer and we just had a new baby. Funny enough, my neighbors were tied to polygamy... so getting through to them was, let's say tough...

I decided every time i heard the dogs bark i would call the cops. I even called animal controll and they came out and talked to the people twice. I just decided i would have the cops harass the hell out of them. They ended up moving! But when i dealt with the cops, they would come out every time. They would take hours sometimes to get there, but would always come. Said that if they get the call, they have to come out.

I put the police and animal control on speed dial and just kept calling them. I also wrote emails to many in the police organization.

I did consider cutting a hole in the fence and then calling animal control about loose dogs. I also dreamed about killing those dogs, because i felt like there is no other solution, just like you.
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:27 PM   #46
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If you can't actually take the dog, would you be able to un-do or break it's chain and simply open the gate? If you know they're not home you don't have to worry much about the noise. Dog will probably end up back at the house but maybe not.
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:32 PM   #47
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troll thread

gtfo

oh btw why don't you blow the next dog you see on the street.
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:07 PM   #48
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Jump fence. Get dog to bite down on something on a stick. Attach collar to lead or pole, depending on his attitude. Break the chain he's attched to to look like he's escaped. Drive dog a long way away.
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:18 PM   #49
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Better yet, break chain, open gate, throw dogbone into back of truck. Drive away...
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:20 PM   #50
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You should get up every morning at 3:30am and start playing some trash metal - loudly. And when they complain just say you are countering the noise.
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