what's wrong with this LP?

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bluebuddha

bluebuddha

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Apr 11, 2008
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I made this landing page for this offer: Are you dateable?

It is a cell submit. I used adwords PPC.. got about 40,000 clicks.. ZERO submits!

my AM manager said the offer is working fine.. and suggested I try ringtones.

Clicking anywhere on the landing page goes directly to the offer page (areudateable.com)

It might of been my keywords, but i wanna rule out LP first.. thx!

rudut1.jpg
 


Well, as someone that loves comics, I'd say the illustrations. The chick looks like a dude, and the dude looks like he has an extra chromosome.


But really, I'd put the costings below the hooks.
The first thing peopel see is that block of white text that stands out enough to get their attention really nicely, and it's wanting to charge them money!!! THEIR MONEY!!!
Let them think about it later, if at all...
Same deal when you click into it. Put the glaring white text underneath. So long as it's there, it's legal, and their fault if they don't pay attention.

Next, it's WAY too static. I mean, a basic highlight or rollover on mouse hover or something for the guy & girl and/or button. Make em wink with a GIF or something. Just that little extra bit makes it seem way more professional, and therefore legit.
 
I was going to suggest taking the "costings" away from the top also, but then again 40,000 = 0. I also thought the illus looked weird, and the entire page gives me the creeps, even though the idea might have potential, but then again 40,000 = 0. I'd Say listen to your af manager and try something else.
 
wtf 40000 clicks and no conversions and you're just now wondering what's going on?
 
I have to agree with HarveyJ, the illustrations are eerie. The concept is good, but I do not like the landing page as it is.

Also, you should try sending a message yourself, to see if it shows on your stats.
 
40k hits and no ctr ? ... I've had that happen by targeting every freakin' English speaking country on the planet + the content network in a campaign. Lesson learned.
 
1) It's got a lot going on.

2) Take away the price from the top and move it to the bottom.

3) Never ever spend that much money before testing again. If you arent getting ANY conversions, you need to be tweaking well before you get 40,000 clicks.

4) I don't think the lp is bad, just tweak it and make it less busy.
 
I have a feeling he means 40,000 impressions - cuz that would be a huge chunk of change.
 
Some other things I would do:
1) Change that background. The text (questions and such) in the background just makes the page look more busy and unfocused.
2) Change the font. Some people may think that font looks cool, but it's not very readable. Stick with a simple font that people recognize.
3) Move the top line (regarding cost) to underneath the main image
4) Remove that top left image of the girl. It looks more weird than appealing. :)
5) The color scheme may or may not be an issue. I think the theme might convert if you follow some of the other suggestions. You should then also change the background color. Find a pleasing theme with this tool.


And of course - make many variations of this page, its headline, text and split-test that mofo... ;)
 
BigWill said:
You guys are missing something... What is his ad text?

that page should have got some submits..
Click to expand...

The ad copy definitely ties together with the LP as well but since he asked about his LP design I commented only on that. ;)

So yes, to the OP: revise your ad copy and make sure that your landing page actually delivers what the ads are promising. This is crucial.
 
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