Got Depression?

IceToEskimos said:
It's not really a case of my being displeased with any of the details of my life, I think that a lot of people would be very happy to have the kind of life that I have. It's like some sort of spiritual ennui or something. I've had it since I was a child, and it's definitely worse in the summertime.

I keep standing on my front porch thinking about the revolting sameness of everything, and while I'm not sad, or unhappy, I'm not really present, either.
Click to expand...

I thought about this yesterday. I thought about how when I was a child, I used to get super excited about things. Stuff like christmas, seeing friends and family, I would get so excited about I couldn't control it. As I got older, I realized I lost that. It was as if I lacked all sense of emotion, I couldn't tell the difference between when I was happy, content, or sad. As if it all didn't matter and as if I was just plain emotionless. Since I recognized this, I've blamed it on me "Just not giving a fuck."

Other than that, I found getting excited about your progression helps as well as philosophy. I also think that society has some part to blame in it all. To note that you said it occurs mostly in summer, may have something to do that almost every commercial that shows people who are super happy, well-off, and/or gorgeous is displayed in a summery-type setting. Humans are naturally comparative and therefore I assume, we subconsciously compare ourselves to our surroundings. Being aware of that helps.
 


Also, everyone fucking hates Sundays. You grew up hating life on Sundays. You had school the next day, you had to go to church and not play on Sundays. Usually you had chores or a shit load of homework. We were raised to feel depressed on Sundays.
 
Reading some of the replies here I don't believe most of you know what depression really is. What's being referenced in this thread is simply feeling bad because your life sucks or whatever. Things like a good talk, sports, working harder can relatively easily have a positive effect on your state if that's the case.

However a true depression is something totally different. I haven't been depressed personally but I dealt with a couple people who have and let me tell you, when people are proper depressed you won't be able to help them by telling them to concentrate on positive things or telling them to suck it up. It's a kind of thing that is so deeply ingrained in their psyche it literally sucks all emotion from them and severely alters their view on reality.

It's a thing that needs to be properly addressed by a professional and to me that was kind of hard to realize because I always believed I can help people with their issues however in cases of depression there's little you can do except stand by them and try to offer some consolation.
 
I don't know what it was, but from September to around April was the worst time I've ever experience that I could remember. I had some simple health problem that no one could figure out, which made it worse because I thought I would never get rid of it. I say simple because most people would think its silly, but it took over my life because it effected my life so much in every way. No emotions at all during this time period. Idk, could have been a seasonal thing because I do love the summer and everything seems to be fine.

Another reason why it was the worst time, I blamed the problem on these pills I took 4 years ago. Blamed it on everyone but myself (never blamed anyone out loud). I made the choice, no one forced me.
 
IceToEskimos said:
I have strong feelings about SSRI medication, and while I've heard a lot of wonderful stories from people who have benefited greatly from it, it still seems like a symptomatic treatment at best.
Click to expand...


Does this mean you have never tried an SSRI? I hope not. You said it yourself. It is a chemical imbalance. I saw my wife go from extremely depressed to a normal person again over a period of 2-3 weeks with Lexapro. She took it for about 1.5 yrs and then stopped without tapering or without telling the doc which I do not recommend, but she had no withdrawal symptoms and is now perfectly back to normal and on no meds at all.

I personally have anxiety disorder recently developed a few years ago, and I never wanted to take any kind of meds like SSRIs or Benzos, but Xanax has been a life saver for me. I took it for a while and stopped. I replaced it with exercise. Then last August, I got in a car accident which fucked my back up so I could not exercise anymore and still can't so back on the xanax. I actually am taking Flexeril for my back spasms which has SSRI effects and has surprisingly eliminated most of my anxiety as well which is sweet besides it being hard as fuck to get up in the morning all groggy and shit. I don't even really take the xanax right now. Exercise is KEY to getting natural SSRIs (endorphins) flying which has eliminated my anxiety completely in the past by just running a mile every day.
 
Not sure if this is the case, but I'll throw it out there anyway.

I know some people feel this way after accomplishing goals. They set these goals for themselves, and after finally achieving them they feel there is nothing else to life.

Goals should be constantly set, no matter how successful you are. It gives your life meaning.
 
jfizzle said:
I also think that society has some part to blame in it all. To note that you said it occurs mostly in summer, may have something to do that almost every commercial that shows people who are super happy, well-off, and/or gorgeous is displayed in a summery-type setting. Humans are naturally comparative and therefore I assume, we subconsciously compare ourselves to our surroundings. Being aware of that helps.
Click to expand...

Also known as the summer time blues. This has been happening long before commercials.
 
I've battled with it for as long as I can remember. I tend to go OCD and dwell on any negative I can find which shuts me into a hole of depression. I tried all the meds and most of them only fucked my brain up worse so I quit them.

One of the things which really helped me was switching my major to philosophy. Classes on existentialism were, ironically, the ones which really helped me get out of my dark funk. I really enjoyed reading kierkegaard and it seemed to help me let go a lot of the crap that was weighing me down.

Another book which really helped was The Consolation of Philosophy by Boethius. It was written by a guy named Boethius who penned it in the last few days of his life while awaiting execution. Somehow, reading great works about life and happiness written by people in the shittiest circumstances ever made me realize that if they can work out their issues, I can work out mine.

In the end, it is all going to be on you. It is an extremely difficult battle, but a battle that you must do on your own. It is very difficult for people without the issue to understand. Most of what they say will only make it worse so you really have to motivate yourself to get better. What works for one will not work for all because everyone is different, but there are common things which have been discussed in this thread which help. Friends, family, diet, exercise, sunlight, etc.. all go a long way in the fight, but you really need to reflect on what makes you as an individual feel happy...not good, but truly happy. The battle against depression is truly one about self knowledge and insight and choosing to be more than feel you are.

I have not completely cured my issues, I do not think that is completely possible, but I have made major steps from where I was a few years ago. One of the hardest parts is realizing that in order to get better you will have to change the way you have been living for years (I believe many of us depressed people also have a bit of OCD ritualisticness which makes the idea of changing daily routine terrifying), but trust me, change can only help.

I know I'm kind of rambling here, it's hard to just come up with a magic solution because the problem is linked to the individual, but just know that you can only be as happy as you allow yourself to be and as bad or as scary as the real world may seem, there are literally millions of people who would love to be around you. (i mean that in a general term for everyone, quit looking at my junk).

There is no stone, Sisyphus. There is only yourself. You don't have to fall back down once you reach the light at the top of the hill.
 
JoseArmando said:
Reading some of the replies here I don't believe most of you know what depression really is. What's being referenced in this thread is simply feeling bad because your life sucks or whatever. Things like a good talk, sports, working harder can relatively easily have a positive effect on your state if that's the case.

However a true depression is something totally different. I haven't been depressed personally but I dealt with a couple people who have and let me tell you, when people are proper depressed you won't be able to help them by telling them to concentrate on positive things or telling them to suck it up. It's a kind of thing that is so deeply ingrained in their psyche it literally sucks all emotion from them and severely alters their view on reality.

It's a thing that needs to be properly addressed by a professional and to me that was kind of hard to realize because I always believed I can help people with their issues however in cases of depression there's little you can do except stand by them and try to offer some consolation.
Click to expand...

Lots of people that think they have clinical depression don't though, which is what brings on these replies. It's hard to differentiate, and something only a professional can really do.

So yes, if something has been bothering you for an extended period, the best person to talk to is a professional.

The other advice offered in the thread is good advice to try before doing that though, and if you don't eventually act on it/actually get out of it - then yes you should go and see someone.

Most truly depressed people don't even talk about it, you can hardly even tell from communicating with them or seeing them in the day-to-day. It's subtle things, and then one day you find them lying in a pool of their own blood. It's why you see so many families saying "We never even knew Timmy had a problem" or "Yeah Timmy liked to spend a lot of time alone, but always seemed happy enough" etc.

The fact that he's come out and posted the thread shows he's looking to try things out and change something, which is a step that lots of clinically depressed people just don't take [whether he is or isn't], and what leads on to the sort of advice given in this thread.

If you can afford it, it never hurts to go and see someone anyway. There are people who aren't depressed that go and see someone every once in a while and talk about their problems, to help them get to the bottom of things and make the most of life - often we blow things up irrationally in our heads, and speaking to someone who knows that they're doing can bring you back to earth again, and make you realise things aren't so dire.
 
To busy to be depressed right now. My recommendation is get so busy you dont have time to be depressed.

Sleep, Start work early, Eat, Work, Eat, Shit, Work, Work some more, WF, Shit, Eat, Work, Work late = no time for depression.
 
IceToEskimos said:
Old friends can help, I think. I don't drink alcohol though.

I can't shake the feeling that every gain, no matter how significant, is ultimately an exercise in futility.
Click to expand...

Watch Crimes and Misdemeanors - The Woody Allen Movie. The moral is that you get what you get, and you just have to take what joy you can out of it.

In the movie, jerks and even, murderers prosper. Woody Allen plays an idealistic film maker, who really has a good idea - but things keep going wrong. The last scene, if I remember right, is him going out for a pleasant afternoon with his teen niece, who is the last person on earth who likes him. He is getting joy from that.

Of course, in light of later developments with Woody Allen's relationships with young step-daughters or something - Oh, never mind, maybe I'll just kill myself. I used to love that movie.
 
I've been dealing with major clinical depression for a few years now. Shit sucks. I regularly wake up and instantly realize the day is shit and nothing will be done. Makes consistency, habits, motivation, and all the other stuff you need to be productive really hard to maintain.

Go see a therapist. I assume you're fine financially, so pay the $120/hr to talk to someone about literally everything in your life but who isn't your friend. It's helpful. When I started therapy, I hung up on the fact that I was in complete control of the facts being presented and I just stopped caring. But then I realized I'm wasting my own time and money that way, so might as well tell it like it is. Therapists are like philosophers, they aren't going to just give you answers, they're going to help you find the answers yourself. It's a nice thing to have for a few grand a year.

I have mixed feelings about meds (FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK DONT SELF MEDICATE). I've never really liked psychiatrists, they meet with you for 5 minutes and then give you whatever drug is on their clipboard at the time. Most drugs take a while to kick, it's a process.

Mindfulness is a big deal. Go on hikes and leave your phone behind (you can bring it for safety reasons, just turn it off or something). Be in the moment. Don't think about your previous business decisions, or fights with your girlfriend, or shit coming up soon. Just stare at trees and bushes. Look at lizards and snakes. Chase fucking rabbits.

Life is everything that has happened to you, living is what you're doing right now. You have to have balance.

I think wayyyyyy too much about things so I tend to have existential breakdowns every other day. The nice part though, is that for ever nihilistic thought you might have, there's a liberating flip side. A good one that I run into a lot is "what's the point of success in business if the universe ultimately doesn't give a fuck?" to which the flipside is "the business world is a game to be won, use your indifference as leverage to beat out the competition".

I don't think there's a way to "beat" depression. It's an evolutionary tool we all have to keep us from doing certain activities. The problem is that nowadays, we aren't getting chased by lions or vultures and live very safe comfortable lives, so we get depressed about our websites going down rather than half the tribe dying because an elephant got loose.

Just pay attention to yourself, monitor yourself.

I actually have plans to build a webapp that is specifically for people who struggle with mood disorders to properly track themselves and then pinpoint what triggers their depressive episodes. Maybe I'll start working on that again soon.
 
one more thing: we all have a coping mechanism when life sucks. Most people turn to drugs or alcohol. Some turn to hookers and kleptomania. I become apathetic. Insanely apathetic. Like when bad things happen to me, my heart rate doesn't change even a tiny bit. I don't get upset anymore by life, I'm stone cold the majority of the time.

Whatever your coping mechanism is, you have to attack it head on and make sense of it. Coping mechanisms help us stay alive, but left unchecked they can run amok in your life. Just like people who cope with booze become raging alcoholics, my indifference to life has made it very difficult for me to have relationships with people anymore.

Constantly be self-evaluating.
 
I only read some of the posts but noticed someone already suggested diet. I think this is a big one. Also, do you smoke or drink? Since I quit smoking, drinking, and changed my diet (high raw vegan) my mood has improved significantly. Not only that but I tend not to get as angry or upset over things and am generally a calmer person than I used to be. Also, I'm not big on "working out" per say but I do enjoy going for a fast paced walk or hike every day now. Nothing like some fresh air, sunshine and nature to put you in a better mood.

Obviously I will still cry when some stupid penguin shits all over my sites but that's normal...
 
IceToEskimos said:
I have strong feelings about SSRI medication, and while I've heard a lot of wonderful stories from people who have benefited greatly from it, it still seems like a symptomatic treatment at best.
Click to expand...

If you can avoid medication at all costs. They are not a cure for depression all they do is numb you to your own feelings so you can still go about your life as normal. But your not normal you are emotionally numb inside.

My ex had problems with depression and anxiety the last 2 years of our relationship. We just ended a 6yr relationship 2 months ago. She was put on 3 different types of medication and they all seriously fucked up her up. There was a point where she cried for hours every night for 2 weeks before I could drag her back to the doctor. She later told me durning that time if I was not there she would have killed her self. This was not from her depression it was from the medication. The next two pills made her an emotional shell with no feeling at all. She had no feelings for me or about anything else going on. When we split she couldn't even cry because the medication wouldn't let her. Which of course makes things even worse for her. Feeling the need to cry, wanting to cry, and then not being able to have that emotional release was torture. (Note: She split up with me, I tried everything in my power to help.)

I personally had some depression after high school since the people in my town all moved away to college and I was stuck for financial reasons. Best thing I did at the time was get a job as a waiter. It gave me the social interaction I needed and got me out of the house.

You need to change! If you work from home and never leave then take a break completely most affiliate shit is automated anyway. Consider a job somewhere simple just for your mental health.

If you are at your house all day, stop working there all together. Say you can only work outside the house, get a laptop and go coffee shop hopping.

If you need friends go to meetup.com and try a few meetups, also see if reddit.com has a subreddit for your city. Ask a local bike shop if there are any social rides in town. Many host weekly social night rides, if so buy a bike and go.

If you hate your city get the hell out, you will never be better staying in a situation that you do not like. Look for places that have what you are looking for and start picturing your self living there. Check rents on craigslist, look at the meetup/reddit, look at places to eat with yelp. Start making a virtual life there, say you will live at a house, you will eat at this place near by, tuesday night you will go on the night ride etc. If you start to feel better virtually moving then you will feel better in the new area.

Pills will not help. They will only fuck you up. They are made so sheep who feel sad about their shitty lives can continue living them without feeling. The only time you should ever consider them is if things are so bad solo at you feel you may hurt yourself or others, the pills will stop that.

TL:DR: Never take pills for depression unless you are a harm to your self or others. Cure depression by changing your lifestyle.
 
m0rtal said:
I only read some of the posts but noticed someone already suggested diet. I think this is a big one. Also, do you smoke or drink? Since I quit smoking, drinking, and changed my diet (high raw vegan) my mood has improved significantly. Not only that but I tend not to get as angry or upset over things and am generally a calmer person than I used to be. Also, I'm not big on "working out" per say but I do enjoy going for a fast paced walk or hike every day now. Nothing like some fresh air, sunshine and nature to put you in a better mood.

Obviously I will still cry when some stupid penguin shits all over my sites but that's normal...
Click to expand...

all good points. Diet is big, booze fucks with your head for a few days each time you drink (so if you drink daily, you're fucked). You need at least 30 minutes of bright ass direct sunlight daily (if you can't get that where you live, get a light therapy lamp on amazon, they're awesome).

Exercise is big, do what you like to do, ultimately your goal should be to break a sweat every day

There's a big difference between being depressed because of how the world is and having depression. Having depression means normal things don't matter to you and oftentimes positive things end up feeling negative (or have no impact at all).
 
usernameistaken said:
Sport, proper nutrition, sunlight.. no depression. Money in the bank might help too :)
Click to expand...

i have never shared this with the board but given the subject being discussed ill do it now.

My dad offed himself in February
. He had $$$, health, hobbies, time to do whatever he wanted and about everything else. Yet he still did it.

One thing he did have too was a lot of regrets. Regrets of not doing this and not doing that.

My advice: do what you want to do.. NOW. No regrets is key.

Fucking up often is the best thing you can do while alive.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lincolndsp
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom