Ohhh shit!

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trust me.. this kid is going to become very familiar with internet marketing from an early age ;)
 
Fuck that. Outsource your infant care between midnight and 10 AM.
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It's the best, it really is. They keep you laughing and loving more than you ever have before.

Welcome to the Jungle.

I second this emotion! They are awesome. Kids take you off the merry-go-round of general contentment and put you on a roller coaster of the highest highs and lowest lows of your life. It's the awesome highs that make people have more than one - and the sleep improves a bit in about four years.

trust me.. this kid is going to become very familiar with internet marketing from an early age ;)

This is true. Mine knew how to completely navigate PlayhouseDisney by the age of two and can now work bookmarks and favorites at three.

Congrats!
 
Kids fucking rock, don't let anyone tell you differently.

But the village idiot is right ... judging by your reaction you should donate it. It'll be a better life for everyone.
 
But the village idiot is right ... judging by your reaction you should donate it. It'll be a better life for everyone.

...and judging by this reaction you should probably consider stabbing yourself in the face. or let me know who you are and i'll do it for you ;)
 
...and judging by this reaction you should probably consider stabbing yourself in the face. or let me know who you are and i'll do it for you ;)

The honest truth is that you'll never find a stronger supporter for family values than this little pecker (check it out, I wrapped my avatar in your honor).

One day, when you've seen the damage that irresponsible parents can do to their kids and a decade's worth of your tax dollars have gone to supporting reckless children having children you'll start to see the light too.

Adoption is a great choice for many people. Your pride tells you this is not an option and you should go stab people that recommend it. Perhaps you should be looking for ways to stay out of jail and start considering that your life is not really yours anymore.

If you were looking for congrats, I would suggest a different direction for the thread. Something like "Hey guys, my wife of 5 years and I are having a kid. We both have degrees, jobs, are debt free and make good enough money that 1/2 of his/her college education is already saved up before labor even started."

Just something that doesn't scream "ooh shit, I'm not ready for this so I'm leaving and plan on stabbing people who give me shit" ... even if it was sarcasm.

Hopefully one day, like myself, you'll learn to love someone more than yourself.

... it doesn't get more honest & real than this dreamache. I'm not pretending to know you or your values, I'm just "judging by your reaction" and I've been known to be wrong at least twice that I know of.
 
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lol @ erects new avatar.

I would agree with erect on some points. Never bring a child into this world if you're not completely ready. (or you can donate it if you're not 100% sure ). If you guys are sure then PLEASE read some books, books on tape, courses whatever. I know it seems cheesy. But as people have said in the past you have to take a test to get a drivers license. Hell you have to get a drivers license before you drive. Yet we don't have to do anything to have kids.

I recommend Scream Free Parenting. Also if i can plug one more thing. Never hit your kid. (Spanking counts) You can teach your kid about responsibility and consequences without hitting.

EDIT: I know it seems like we're jumping the gun with this stuff (Oops you've already done that;) ) but trust me you won't have time to read this stuff when the kid is born so better to get in the right frame of mind now.
 
Bill Hicks has some appropriate advice on children. I figure you're better off listening to him for a while than hearing it from me though.

Just remember though, you now have some little kidneys waiting for you should you ever need them.

Hahahahah, reminded me of this,

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_5nLxZVoPo"]YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.[/ame]
 
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