A man joins the navy....

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John

John

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A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long. "Let me show you," says the captain.

He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it. "This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."

The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway.

After he finishes up, the captain returns.

"Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"

"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."

"Why not Thursday?"

"That's your day in the barrel.
 


Got a similar one:

A man joins up to fight over in Iraq.
When he gets to his outpost base, he notices that there are no women on base, and asks his Sergeant about it.

"Yeah, we don't like to put the girls up here. Things get really vicious out there, and the last thing we need is another Jessica Lynch"
"So what do we do to relieve a bit of... uhh... "stress" around here, Sarge?"
So the Sergeant takes him over to a camel. It's a dirty, smelly bastard of a camel... fit to spit.
"See that? That's Betsy... We take Betsy to--"
"Oh shee-it! Hell no, Sarge!"
"Fine, have it your way, Private"

So a week passes. The man's getting a bit tense.
Some combat, another week, the tension's building.

A month in, he cracks. In the dead of night, he goes over to the stable, and tries to have his way with the camel.

Alerted by the screaming, the Sargeant rushes in and finds a bruised, bloodied, but satisfied soldier.
"JUST WHAT IN UNCLE SAM HELL'S GOING ON IN HERE, PRIVATE?!"
"I... I did the camel... like you said, Sarge!"
To which the seargant just dropped his head and sighed...
"Son, if you'd let me finish a month ago, you would have heard me said "We take Betsy to the local town and get us some hookers... Camels don't trip off mines""
 
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'Nuff said
 
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