#783472 +(198)
<@Aaron> It's really simple to watch a move, just open the console, and type "
<@Aaron> ffmpeg -i "$(find ~/.mozilla -regex '.*Cache.*' -a -not -regex \
<@Aaron> '.*_CACHE_.*' -printf '%T+ %p\n' | \
<@Aaron> sort -n | awk '{ print $2 }' | xargs file | \
<@Aaron> grep -i "Video" | tail -1 | awk -F : '{ print $1 }')" \
<@Aaron> -vcodec msmpeg4v2 -b 200 -ab 64 -ar 22050 -s 320x240 \
<@Aaron> /tmp/video.avi
<@Aaron> ANYONE CAN DO IT
#782879 +(225)
holy shit. he's blending the iphone while it's playing will it blend. that's so meta.
does anything not blend?
Jews and Palestinians
#782736 +(575)
evilada: agh, i'm watching this jesus camp documentary and it's horrible.
evilada: i want to burn down a church
pnkfloyd: woah woah woah
pnkfloyd: Hold on there
pnkfloyd: wait for me
#782660 +(313)
...omg, that reminds me...I made a faux pas at work..
My boss was talking about this new "religious video game." (he's catholic).
and I went off on a tangent and I was like, "oh...wow, what happens when you lose?"
and he turned his back and I threw out my arms like I was on a cross and went "Game Over!"
and my other co=workers were like, "OMG! I forbid you to do that ever again!" and he turned back around and went "what'd I miss?"
no one would tell him.
and then when it got quiet, I went "Continue?" and everyone started laughing again.
#782656 +(77)
hey guys
Hey Sap, wanna do a knock-knock joke?
err, ok
you start
k
knock knock
who's there?
...
#782598 +(207)
ASCII and ye shall be ANSI.
UTF??
#782459 +(505)
"Physics is to math as sex is to masturbation"
i am so much better at math than physics
wait
fuck
#782390 +(710)
yay I fixed my laptops battery!
it was so dead, nothing would charge it
so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes
don't they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that?
yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.
#782342 +(355)
KompRa: dude, my girlfriend dumped me yesterday..
Ryan808: itll be fine man
KompRa: i got so angry last night i went to her girlfriend and i fucked her all night long
KompRa: and the sad thing.. it was on April Fools' Day
Ryan808: komp, i think your ex was just messin wit you on the breakup thing, april fools
Ryan808: i think u should verify that :\
KompRa: holy shit
#781256 +(370)
i just tried plugging a serial->ps2 into a ps2->usb1 in order to plug a usb mouse into a laptop with a serial port
that was like 11 years of technology in one plugin
#781139 +(332)
So pieces of binary information are bits...
And ternary ones are trits...
But that's far enough, I think.
When we get to base 4, we should call it quits.
#781115 +(194)
Ang3lClds82776: no, seriously, what is the difference btwn a graphics processor and a graphics accelerator??
Philmj88: Well, to give you an idea....a graphics processor is like an artist....
Philmj88: a graphics accelerator is like an autistic kid with a paintbrush...
#780971 +(505)
The name Benjamin comes from the hebrew "son of my right hand"
If I ever donate sperm, I'm attaching a rider that says the kid needs to be named ben if it's a boy
#780868 +(1605)
So... earlier today, I was watching one of my family's cats hitting a cord hanging from our blinds for about 10 minutes or so, and I started thinking 'gee, the danged animal is so darned easily amused'... and then I realized that I'd been staring at a cat playing with a string for ten minutes.
#780779 +(287)
I started doing crystal meth for the weight loss, now I just enjoy stealing cars...
#780063 +(282)
python is pretty easy to learn
you write pseudocode, and you indent it correctly
#779709 +(1057)
fuck fuck fuck... why does bash.org keep posting those roses are red bastardizations?
newsflash!! theyre not funny
the only way it could possibly get worse is if someone made a poem like that completely in 1337
R0535 4R3 R3D, V10l375 4R3 BLU3, 1337 P037RY 5UCK5, BU7 50 D0 Y0U?
#779476 +(-183)
xl DJ DFeNCe lx: Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Make me a sandwich,
Or your eye will be too.
#779456 +(476)
i'm about done with this sodacan castle around my computer monitor
well atleast the right wing
i still have the top to defend and get some cover over the left flank
and i have to do it quickly before the mentos monsters complete the building of their military base
#779320 +(1153)
please describe web 2.0 to me in 2 sentences or less.
you make all the content. they keep all the revenue.
#779288 +(2619)
so, my mom was putting in her CD with church pics but it wouldn't work on her computer
so she put it in mine
now, the last thing I watched on windows media player was hardcore lesbian porn
that got into the action right away
so my mom puts in the cd into my computer
opens up windows media players
and the porn starts playing
and when I realized what was happening I was like "oh fuck"
but then...
she goes berserk
she was screaming "THIS CD HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL!!"
and she took out a HAMMER
and smashed the fucking CD
it was the best thing ever
not only was I completely off the hook
you have to love the awesome displays of religious apeshit
I think if god existed, he put people like my mom on this earth to entertain us
#779013 +(1371)
schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP
#778845 +(385)
deusnoctum> I love online pharmacy spam that offer "discrete shipping." Does that mean they ship every pill individually?
#778807 +(125)
Ademska: ....okay so is P. Diddy now just Diddy?
honestly x okay: I have no clue
honestly x okay: I can't follow all his names
Ademska: first he was Sean "Puffy" Combs, then Puff Daddy, then P Diddy, now Diddy
Ademska: next he is just going to be a syllable
Ademska: "Duh"
#778521 +(1484)
Rude: wicked story tho..this morning i'm sitting at the mc donalds i normally do having coffee and such, and this middle-aged fat guy who always comes in around the same time i do walks in
Rude: (and this guy's a fucking dick, I hate him just from hearing him talk to the kids working)
Rude: so he orders his meal, and when they put it all on the tray, he puts the back of his hand right into the fries and practically explodes.. "THESE FRIES ARE COLD, THEYRE ALWAYS FUCKING COLD WHEN YOU SERVE THEM, I WANT FRESH ONES"
Rude: so they apologize, take the fries away and after a few minutes I see them put some more fries on his tray...dumbass puts his hand right into it again, but these fries were RIGHT out of the frier, and the stupid fuck completely burns the back of his hand and shrieks like a fucking girl
Rude: I laughed so fucking hard at him, and he turns to me cradling his raw hand and yells WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT KID
Rude: at this point i'm laughing so hard i can only point at his hand and keep laughing
Rude: dipshit storms out and the kids working even gave me his fucking food
#778467 +(162)
[Kradical] NANOG = North American Network Operators Group
[Kradical] an organization of ISPs and NSPs (ISPs of ISPs) that is highly influential on how the internet operates
[Kara]
[Kara] I thought the internet ran on 4chan and porn.
#778457 +(1196)
moooooooooootherfucker
...
g: before that punchline we need the setup, e.g. "what do you call a cow with an oedipus complex", etc.
#778409 +(688)
So the other night I can't sleep, so I go downstairs and pour a bowl of cereal and decide I'll eat it in my room while I watch Conan.
After I pour my cereal, I turn the lights back off and it's pitch black as I walk up the stairs to my bedroom.
By the way, I'm only wearing a pair of silk shorts.
So I'm trying to balance my bowl of cereal in the dark so I don't spill, thinking I'm doing okay. When I reach the top of the stairs, the bowl tips and I feel it spill all over my shorts.
So I walk back downstairs to grab a rag and clean up. I find a roll of paper towels and I pick up all the cereal inside it and walk downstairs to throw it away and put my bowl in the sink.
Then I start to clean up the milk on the floor and on my shorts.
Well this is near my parents' bedroom, and as I'm cleaning, I hear them having sex. Being male, I start to get an erection at the sounds of sex, despite the fact that I know it's my parents having the sex.
So I try to tune it out and hurry up with the spilt milk. In the midst of all this, I start to have a coughing fit. A result of being a smoker.
A minute later, my mom opens her bedroom door - wrapped in a blanket - and sees me standing there with an erection bulging through my shorts, which are still wet with a seeping liquid, and a paper towel in my hand dripping white stuff, all outside her bedroom door where she and my dad were just having sex.
I've never thought seriously about running away from home until that night.
#778335 +(214)
(JMulder) Guys.
(JMulder) Help me out here.
(JMulder) I am on a quest to find that horribly traumatizing anthro style painting of the twins from The Matrix having sex with eachother.
(JMulder) It was horrible and I take no pleasure in trying to find it again, but it is of utmost importance.
<@Aaron> It's really simple to watch a move, just open the console, and type "
<@Aaron> ffmpeg -i "$(find ~/.mozilla -regex '.*Cache.*' -a -not -regex \
<@Aaron> '.*_CACHE_.*' -printf '%T+ %p\n' | \
<@Aaron> sort -n | awk '{ print $2 }' | xargs file | \
<@Aaron> grep -i "Video" | tail -1 | awk -F : '{ print $1 }')" \
<@Aaron> -vcodec msmpeg4v2 -b 200 -ab 64 -ar 22050 -s 320x240 \
<@Aaron> /tmp/video.avi
<@Aaron> ANYONE CAN DO IT
#782879 +(225)
holy shit. he's blending the iphone while it's playing will it blend. that's so meta.
does anything not blend?
Jews and Palestinians
#782736 +(575)
evilada: agh, i'm watching this jesus camp documentary and it's horrible.
evilada: i want to burn down a church
pnkfloyd: woah woah woah
pnkfloyd: Hold on there
pnkfloyd: wait for me
#782660 +(313)
...omg, that reminds me...I made a faux pas at work..
My boss was talking about this new "religious video game." (he's catholic).
and I went off on a tangent and I was like, "oh...wow, what happens when you lose?"
and he turned his back and I threw out my arms like I was on a cross and went "Game Over!"
and my other co=workers were like, "OMG! I forbid you to do that ever again!" and he turned back around and went "what'd I miss?"
no one would tell him.
and then when it got quiet, I went "Continue?" and everyone started laughing again.
#782656 +(77)
hey guys
Hey Sap, wanna do a knock-knock joke?
err, ok
you start
k
knock knock
who's there?
...
#782598 +(207)
ASCII and ye shall be ANSI.
UTF??
#782459 +(505)
"Physics is to math as sex is to masturbation"
i am so much better at math than physics
wait
fuck
#782390 +(710)
yay I fixed my laptops battery!
it was so dead, nothing would charge it
so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes
don't they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that?
yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.
#782342 +(355)
KompRa: dude, my girlfriend dumped me yesterday..
Ryan808: itll be fine man
KompRa: i got so angry last night i went to her girlfriend and i fucked her all night long
KompRa: and the sad thing.. it was on April Fools' Day
Ryan808: komp, i think your ex was just messin wit you on the breakup thing, april fools
Ryan808: i think u should verify that :\
KompRa: holy shit
#781256 +(370)
i just tried plugging a serial->ps2 into a ps2->usb1 in order to plug a usb mouse into a laptop with a serial port
that was like 11 years of technology in one plugin
#781139 +(332)
So pieces of binary information are bits...
And ternary ones are trits...
But that's far enough, I think.
When we get to base 4, we should call it quits.
#781115 +(194)
Ang3lClds82776: no, seriously, what is the difference btwn a graphics processor and a graphics accelerator??
Philmj88: Well, to give you an idea....a graphics processor is like an artist....
Philmj88: a graphics accelerator is like an autistic kid with a paintbrush...
#780971 +(505)
The name Benjamin comes from the hebrew "son of my right hand"
If I ever donate sperm, I'm attaching a rider that says the kid needs to be named ben if it's a boy
#780868 +(1605)
So... earlier today, I was watching one of my family's cats hitting a cord hanging from our blinds for about 10 minutes or so, and I started thinking 'gee, the danged animal is so darned easily amused'... and then I realized that I'd been staring at a cat playing with a string for ten minutes.
#780779 +(287)
I started doing crystal meth for the weight loss, now I just enjoy stealing cars...
#780063 +(282)
python is pretty easy to learn
you write pseudocode, and you indent it correctly
#779709 +(1057)
fuck fuck fuck... why does bash.org keep posting those roses are red bastardizations?
newsflash!! theyre not funny
the only way it could possibly get worse is if someone made a poem like that completely in 1337
R0535 4R3 R3D, V10l375 4R3 BLU3, 1337 P037RY 5UCK5, BU7 50 D0 Y0U?
#779476 +(-183)
xl DJ DFeNCe lx: Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Make me a sandwich,
Or your eye will be too.
#779456 +(476)
i'm about done with this sodacan castle around my computer monitor
well atleast the right wing
i still have the top to defend and get some cover over the left flank
and i have to do it quickly before the mentos monsters complete the building of their military base
#779320 +(1153)
please describe web 2.0 to me in 2 sentences or less.
you make all the content. they keep all the revenue.
#779288 +(2619)
so, my mom was putting in her CD with church pics but it wouldn't work on her computer
so she put it in mine
now, the last thing I watched on windows media player was hardcore lesbian porn
that got into the action right away
so my mom puts in the cd into my computer
opens up windows media players
and the porn starts playing
and when I realized what was happening I was like "oh fuck"
but then...
she goes berserk
she was screaming "THIS CD HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL!!"
and she took out a HAMMER
and smashed the fucking CD
it was the best thing ever
not only was I completely off the hook
you have to love the awesome displays of religious apeshit
I think if god existed, he put people like my mom on this earth to entertain us
#779013 +(1371)
schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP
#778845 +(385)
deusnoctum> I love online pharmacy spam that offer "discrete shipping." Does that mean they ship every pill individually?
#778807 +(125)
Ademska: ....okay so is P. Diddy now just Diddy?
honestly x okay: I have no clue
honestly x okay: I can't follow all his names
Ademska: first he was Sean "Puffy" Combs, then Puff Daddy, then P Diddy, now Diddy
Ademska: next he is just going to be a syllable
Ademska: "Duh"
#778521 +(1484)
Rude: wicked story tho..this morning i'm sitting at the mc donalds i normally do having coffee and such, and this middle-aged fat guy who always comes in around the same time i do walks in
Rude: (and this guy's a fucking dick, I hate him just from hearing him talk to the kids working)
Rude: so he orders his meal, and when they put it all on the tray, he puts the back of his hand right into the fries and practically explodes.. "THESE FRIES ARE COLD, THEYRE ALWAYS FUCKING COLD WHEN YOU SERVE THEM, I WANT FRESH ONES"
Rude: so they apologize, take the fries away and after a few minutes I see them put some more fries on his tray...dumbass puts his hand right into it again, but these fries were RIGHT out of the frier, and the stupid fuck completely burns the back of his hand and shrieks like a fucking girl
Rude: I laughed so fucking hard at him, and he turns to me cradling his raw hand and yells WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT KID
Rude: at this point i'm laughing so hard i can only point at his hand and keep laughing
Rude: dipshit storms out and the kids working even gave me his fucking food
#778467 +(162)
[Kradical] NANOG = North American Network Operators Group
[Kradical] an organization of ISPs and NSPs (ISPs of ISPs) that is highly influential on how the internet operates
[Kara]
[Kara] I thought the internet ran on 4chan and porn.
#778457 +(1196)
moooooooooootherfucker
...
g: before that punchline we need the setup, e.g. "what do you call a cow with an oedipus complex", etc.
#778409 +(688)
So the other night I can't sleep, so I go downstairs and pour a bowl of cereal and decide I'll eat it in my room while I watch Conan.
After I pour my cereal, I turn the lights back off and it's pitch black as I walk up the stairs to my bedroom.
By the way, I'm only wearing a pair of silk shorts.
So I'm trying to balance my bowl of cereal in the dark so I don't spill, thinking I'm doing okay. When I reach the top of the stairs, the bowl tips and I feel it spill all over my shorts.
So I walk back downstairs to grab a rag and clean up. I find a roll of paper towels and I pick up all the cereal inside it and walk downstairs to throw it away and put my bowl in the sink.
Then I start to clean up the milk on the floor and on my shorts.
Well this is near my parents' bedroom, and as I'm cleaning, I hear them having sex. Being male, I start to get an erection at the sounds of sex, despite the fact that I know it's my parents having the sex.
So I try to tune it out and hurry up with the spilt milk. In the midst of all this, I start to have a coughing fit. A result of being a smoker.
A minute later, my mom opens her bedroom door - wrapped in a blanket - and sees me standing there with an erection bulging through my shorts, which are still wet with a seeping liquid, and a paper towel in my hand dripping white stuff, all outside her bedroom door where she and my dad were just having sex.
I've never thought seriously about running away from home until that night.
#778335 +(214)
(JMulder) Guys.
(JMulder) Help me out here.
(JMulder) I am on a quest to find that horribly traumatizing anthro style painting of the twins from The Matrix having sex with eachother.
(JMulder) It was horrible and I take no pleasure in trying to find it again, but it is of utmost importance.
