Got to go to a funueral...

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Rage9

Rage9

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Jan 7, 2008
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Thursday night is normally such a happy time. $10 all you can drink at my favorite bar in town.

I use to manage an Arby's for a few months last year, and I actually have kept in touch with quite a few people from there. Tonight I found out one of my former employees died.

If you worked in a restaurant for a while, you'd know you get pretty close to people - unless your a d-bag.

Anyways not to get mushy on you guys, but she was a very nice person. I think she may have had issue with here weight [she was hefty] but her "friends" did a lot of drugs.

Turns out that she died form an overdose of pills [at least what I'm told]. I'm not saying this is a huge surprise. I know her friends, and when she worked with me I know she was doing some stuff. It's such a Darwin way to die, really.

One of my former employees found her in her bed dead, and as much as I could understand how it happens I'm conflicted.

1) I know she did a bit of random drugs. She once came into work in really bad shape from doing way to much the night before [among other things]. I don't know what she was doing, and I don't want to know.

2) How do you let that happen? Is life really that bad? I don't know that it was on purpose.

She was going to college and all that jazz. Never seemed suicidal. Seemed fairly happy overall.

As much as I want to go to the funeral, and several current friends of mine - whom also worked there - want me to go. At the same time it's almost like I'm saying "If you kill yourself in a really fucking stupid way I should show up and mourn!". I don't think that's the right attitude to be had IMFHO.

In general I'm not the kind of person who goes to funerals or any of that jazz, but this is the first one outside my family that I'm considering.

Does anyone else have a similar story? And no I don't want a bunch of "I'm sorry for you loss" bullshit posts, because it isn't like that. *yeah I Know I spelt "funeral" wrong.
 


You don't have to be teary eyed and devastated to go to a funeral. My Uncle just died from cancer and I had to stand in the receiving line and I wasnt even that close to him so I was the asshole that was just standing there while everyone else was crying. whatever.

"In general I'm not the kind of person who goes to funerals," but you are the kind of person that uses the word jazz.

Id say go.
 
Even if you don't condone the issues that lead up to her death, look at it as if you are there as support for the others. Principles aside, it's not about you. I hate funerals. My attitude is that the deceased doesn't know I'm there anyways so why go? But this is a time not to be selfish and think about the others who could use a shoulder to cry on.
 
Rage9 said:
In general I'm not the kind of person who goes to funerals or any of that jazz, but this is the first one outside my family that I'm considering.
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Here's an opportunity for some +rep and to improve your social skills in a situation like this. The next one will be a layup.
 
I'd go to the funeral. You don't know for sure that she took her own life. She just could've been out partying and mixed the wrong shit or simply took to much. Nowaday's it seems like the only time I get to see all my old friends is when someone gets married or dies.

But this is a time not to be selfish and think about the others who could use a shoulder to cry on. Today 08:46 AM
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WillFerrell-WeddingCrashers.jpg

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Your friends have a HUGE influence on what you do. Hang around with the wrong crowd too much and you're likely to do the same as them...If she was your friend I would pay my respects for sure...and of course pick up some grieving bitches like Will Ferrel.
 
Go,

This might sound grim but since you weren't that close to the person you'll probably come out of there feeling great.

And like others said, it's +rep from people you know in RL
 
Rage9 said:
she was a very nice person.....

She was going to college and all that jazz. Never seemed suicidal. Seemed fairly happy overall.

it's almost like I'm saying "If you kill yourself in a really fucking stupid way I should show up and mourn!".

In general I'm not the kind of person who goes to funerals or any of that jazz, but this is the first one outside my family that I'm considering.
Click to expand...

You're considering going because you thought she was a really nice person etc. and that does not mean you're saying "If you kill yourself in a really fucking stupid way I should show up and mourn!", by going.

If you felt some kind of connection/friendship with her, by you going to pay respects, is just that.

You atleast recognized her for her good qualities and did not lump her into a junkie stereotype. And if you did let her know this in words or actions when she was alive, I'm sure that had more meaning to her.

It's between the 2 of you - fuck everyone else.
 
This should have nothing to do with whatever moral/ethical platform you want to stand on or any personal beliefs you want to convey. Funerals are about saying goodbye, even if it comes with caveats.

People aren't perfect. They make mistakes. She made a big one over and over that eventually cost her life. But to hold that against her and refuse to go to her funeral because you don't support drugs/suicide?

That's ass backwards to me. Not trying to be a dick but dude... the funeral is about HER life and HER family and friends celebrating it... not about your refusal to accept her lifestyle. If that was the case, she would probably be the only one at her funeral.
 
My dad's funeral was pretty weird. He passed about 9 months ago and all i wanted to do was curl up in a ball while i was at the funeral.

The thing is i know people were trying to be nice and show me that they cared but i just wanted people to just leave me alone. I ended up leaving about an hour into it and getting blazed.

RIP DAD!
 
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