HAHA...I just scared the hell out of a Jehova's Witness

[ChrisS]

So I just got a knock at the door and knew right away it was a Jehova's Witness. You can always tell by the creepy looking artwork and pictures on their handouts.

Keep in mind that I'm listening to some hardcore rap, wearing a wife beater, and intentionally disheveled my hair before opening the door. I also live out in the fucking middle of nowhere.

Here's the conversation that ensued...

"Her (already a little creeped out) : "Uhhh...Hi we're doing a world wide movement today answering the most important questions that humans have ever asked"

Me: "Mmmmm fantastic! Come in! Come in!

Her: "Ahhhhh.."

Me: "Oh, but first I'm required to tell you that mumble mumble mumble"

Her: I'm sorry I didn't understand...

Me: "Ahhh it was no big deal"

Her: "What did you say?"

Me: "I'm required by my parole officer to inform any visitors that I'm a level 3 sex offender...just...a...technicality really."

Her (with all color drained from her face): "Umm here..."

She flings a handout at me, and practically sprints around the corner of the house and back to her car. Oh man, good stuff.

I hope they put me on the "do not visit" list now.

 

[turbolapp]

Awesome.

Wait. Are you a level 3 sex offender?

 

[DanielKemp]

Ya they come to my place a lot.

They might have put you on a "really needs saving" list or something like that instead.

The librarian at the library where I go to get my books showed me the definition of "Religion" in the dictionary there:

They are all about "truth", whatever that is, and they think they are free, but how can you really be a free person if you are "bound" to a religion with all their rituals and weird stuff? My parents are hardcore Christians but whatever makes them happy is cool I guess.

 

[legacy]

haha.. this is funny

 

[ChrisS]

Awesome.

Wait. Are you a level 3 sex offender?

You won't know til it's too late.

 

[Fat Tom]

Thats priceless.

 

[turbolapp]

You won't know til it's too late.

Same can be said about a blackbelt in Jujutsu.http://www.wickedfire.com/wiki/Jujutsu

 

[ChrisS]

Haha...interestingly enough I'm a BJJ'er myself

 

[elucidex]

Haha classic.. they were just here, I wouldn't answer but they knocked forever.

 

[bb_wolfe]

Same can be said about a blackbelt in Jujutsu.

99% of the guys here would let you kick their asses anytime, just sayin, you may want to rethink your comeback! lol

 

[vinny lingo]

Why do I get the feeling you're in that one percent, bb_wolfe? I'm picturing you unleashing a mean left hook... and subsequently getting owned by the other 99%.

I keed! I keed!

 

[_poto_]

awesome... I'll have to remember that one...

 

[glowleaf]

Nice trick Chris! Added to my portfolio of "annoying people avoiding" skills.

 

[MyOwnDemon]

Locked main door to my apartment building FTW. No Witnesses knocking on my front door.

 

[m0rtal]

Haha...interestingly enough I'm a BJJ'er myself

Don't abbreviate those words again.

 

[DuelElite]

Ive never encountered them

 

[ASSINATOR]

Ive never encountered them

Count yourself mother ducking lucky. :music07:

 

[Ekim]

Ive never encountered them

They try to avoid trailer parks..

 

[DuelElite]

Or maybe we dont get them in london.

 

[rockhard]

That's fucking priceless! The Jehovah's deserve everything they get for being so obnoxious.