HAHA...I just scared the hell out of a Jehova's Witness
- Thread starter ChrisS
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Ya they come to my place a lot.
They might have put you on a "really needs saving" list or something like that instead.
The librarian at the library where I go to get my books showed me the definition of "Religion" in the dictionary there:
They are all about "truth", whatever that is, and they think they are free, but how can you really be a free person if you are "bound" to a religion with all their rituals and weird stuff? My parents are hardcore Christians but whatever makes them happy is cool I guess.
They don't celebrate birthdays, won't salute the flag, and don't drink.
I recommend handing them some printouts from WF when they come by. Watchtower, meet Skittles. Tell them you'll trade memberships.
I recommend handing them some printouts from WF when they come by. Watchtower, meet Skittles. Tell them you'll trade memberships.
Lol good job. My wife was raised in a JW family, and says the first 10 years of her life was just wasted away going door to door (they figure if they send the kids to the door, people are more likely to take their fliers). She never was able to celebrate a single birthday, Christmas, and anything else that was deemed too much fun. She also weren't allowed to have friends outside the "church" and hence became an outsider in school and teased for being different. Nice "religion" there for ya.
Beatings were common too if she even slightly disobeyed the rules. Because that's how God wanted kids to grow up and what religion should be all about....pause...not.
What a fucked up "religion". Luckily for her, she had enough when she reached her teens, bailed out and has never looked back.
Beatings were common too if she even slightly disobeyed the rules. Because that's how God wanted kids to grow up and what religion should be all about....pause...not.
What a fucked up "religion". Luckily for her, she had enough when she reached her teens, bailed out and has never looked back.
HarveyJ
He is - THE CACTUS!
ChrisS: That's brilliant!
I can see them coming from my window when I'm at home, so if the little skeleton doorknocker doesn't make them think twice, I strip on the way down and pretend to be a nudist... I do that for all the doorknockers actually.
The one time it didn't work was with an indian guy trying to sell electricity plans and he was "Oh, you're a nudist too? So am I. You should join our group".... Epic backfire T_T
And yeah, I would totally let Turbo beat me senseless, so long as she was wearing PVC at the time.
Same for Janaic...
I can see them coming from my window when I'm at home, so if the little skeleton doorknocker doesn't make them think twice, I strip on the way down and pretend to be a nudist... I do that for all the doorknockers actually.
The one time it didn't work was with an indian guy trying to sell electricity plans and he was "Oh, you're a nudist too? So am I. You should join our group".... Epic backfire T_T
And yeah, I would totally let Turbo beat me senseless, so long as she was wearing PVC at the time.
Same for Janaic...
LOL! You are a bucket of effin laughs dude :action-smiley-052:
Try this shit on for size. How about you're like 5,000+ miles away from home (USA) and it's cold as hell outside. When I say cold as hell I mean it's
you-are-living-200-miles-from-the-arctic-circle-cold as hell.
You get a knock on the door and you are like WTF? I KNOW I am not going outside as it's pitch dark at 2pm and I KNOW I didn't call anyone.
You open the door to see a pleasant looking, attractive, very blond Swedish woman - WHO'S A FUCKING JEHOVAH'S WITNESS!!
I laughed for ages at that! HA HAA HA HA HA AHAAA
And she had those same magazines like they do in DC/Georgia
HHHAAAA HAAAA
I'm like "uh lady, I'm giving you the same answer I've given to people back home in America - NO I DO NOT WANT A WATCH TOWER MAGAZINE!"
"but don't you believe in God"
"yes Lady I do....."
"... he told me to tell you that it's too fucking cold to go down to your prayer meeting at the Kingdom Temple in downtown Stockholm...."
<bewildered by the seemingly contradicting answers>
" I admire your commitment but I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs"
"Oh I see (looking perplexed even still)....well have a nice day"
Three months she comes BACK with a guy this time and since Swedish men are hot I am tempted to let them in
@ChrisS all that said, somehow I don't think you'd close the door on the Swedish women who are Jehovah witnesses
ha haIt's so funny they have the same lines as people back home but they say their memorized lines in this sing-song way that sounds totally weird like
"Jah jah Jah Jah Jah Jay-Hov-AHHH WEEETNESSESSS for GUUUD"
God bless America and Americans we can promote-pimp anything from sea to shining sea
Man, i read a few of their pamphlets when I was growing up. The best by far is called, THE BURNING HELL!
Its a short story about your soul, but every few words they somehow manage to slip in "THE BURNING HELL" but the words are in red font.
My mom used to send my brother and I down to talk to them, we did a puppet show for them, they watched it for a good 5 minutes before leaving. Good times, good times.
--> There, fixed that for you, ::emp::
Its a short story about your soul, but every few words they somehow manage to slip in "THE BURNING HELL" but the words are in red font.
My mom used to send my brother and I down to talk to them, we did a puppet show for them, they watched it for a good 5 minutes before leaving. Good times, good times.
--> There, fixed that for you, ::emp::
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THE BURNING HELL WAS THE SHIT!!
LMAO for real
Actually they had this kick ass bible story book my mom used to read me bedtime stories back in the day. Man did I have an awesome childhood (not a JW, and really no disrespect to them if they don't get on people's nerves....)
It was fun as hell. Those pics were fucking funny too, it was always alot of drama with Solomon getting his pimp on with all the ladies and the J-dog walking on water and what not.
The stories are fables of course but the principles were (are) priceless....
If they could find a way to relay the substance without the other shit maybe more people will listen to them....
LMAO for real
Actually they had this kick ass bible story book my mom used to read me bedtime stories back in the day. Man did I have an awesome childhood
(not a JW, and really no disrespect to them if they don't get on people's nerves....)It was fun as hell. Those pics were fucking funny too, it was always alot of drama with Solomon getting his pimp on with all the ladies and the J-dog walking on water and what not.
The stories are fables of course but the principles were (are) priceless....
If they could find a way to relay the substance without the other shit maybe more people will listen to them....
Away taking care of business ATM (story above happened a year or two ago)...
Hey, do they do fireworks in Oslo for New Years? I need something fun to do...
Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? There's actually a pretty big celebration in S-town by the AWC - AWC Sweden
Yeah they do the fireworks here on New Year's. It's the only day of the year when it's allowed. The country doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, but here in my house we do since my wife is american.
You should come over for some turkey! :xomunch:
ChrisS: This is delengary just made me howl mate. I also grew up within a Catholic community, school system, etc.
Since 'growing up' a bit, my views of all religions have definitely changed. But don't think I'd have the balls to go as far as you did bro - wow - next time grab your camcorder.
Since 'growing up' a bit, my views of all religions have definitely changed. But don't think I'd have the balls to go as far as you did bro - wow - next time grab your camcorder.
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