I hate Twitter. But.....

[Mike]

This is one Twitterer I will take time of my day to read:

Justin (shitmydadsays) on Twitter

He just posts shit his dad says. Most are direct quotes aimed at the writer. Cracks me up.

Here's a few gems:

"Mom is smarter than you...No? Well, ask yourself this; has mom ever unknowingly had toilet paper hanging out of her ass?...Mom 1. You 0"

"I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."

"Remember this: you're just a lucky fucking guy. If people start telling you your dick looks bigger, remember that it's not."

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."

"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."

“We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’s okay to hump, and it’s okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."

Okay, enough silliness. Back to work.

 

[RockDiesel]

Twitter fave Shit My Dad Says heads to TV

Twitter To TV: 'Shit My Dad Says' User Gets CBS Comedy Deal (PHOTOS, NSFW)

I think I read somewhere that the majority are dad's quotes, but he fabricates some of them. Either way, they are still funny.

 

[Unarmed Gunman]

The quotes are funny, but the fact that he has over a million followers and is only following one person is really funny. The fact that the one person is Levar Burton from "The Reading Rainbow" is genius.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6j8EiWIVZs"]YouTube- Broadcast Yourself.[/ame]