Know any good limericks?

[wezcountry]

lim·er·ick 
–noun
a kind of humorous verse of five lines, in which the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth lines, which are shorter, form a rhymed couplet.

Here we go ...

There once was a vampire called mabel
Whose menstral cycle was stable
One weekend in four
She'd sit on the floor
And drink herself under the table

 

[zimok]

A macho young swimmer named Bertoer,​

Really liked playing with fire.​

One night in the dark​

He swam with a shark,​

And his voice is now two octaves higher.

Did someone say baywatch?
​

 

[AustinP]

There was a young woman named Alice,
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Dallas.

 

[-God-]

Wez once went and started a thread,
About our favourite limericks read.
Nobody was sure,
And found it a bore,
So when he came back it was dead.

 

[medicalhumor]

There was an old hooker named Chariff,
who let out a monstrous queef,
with the grace of a swan,
she said to her John,
"Does anyone else smell roast beef?"

 

[WebairMetz]

keep em going these are funny

 

[DanWesson]

A sick old pirate cracker
Was a notorious hook-handed whacker
After scarring his tool
The patch-eyed old fool
Became a respected fudge packer


On a trip across the briny
The cabin boy was getting whiny
So down in the hold
His booty was gold
They made the most of his hiney