So, I Finally Get To The Second Spot On Google, Yet I Have No Traffic. Wat.

Now I know how this may sound but coming 2nd in a Google ranking doesn't gurantee any sort of money flow but it does seem the best place to start receiving traffic. Now your case sounds really strange, have you checked the Google Analytics? make sure that you have copied the correct code and placed it properly so that it can start showing the traffic your site is getting.