Stabbed in the penis

[Alive]

Went to a restaurant today, grabbed a toothpick on the way out. Went to the gym, changed into shorts, worked out. Changed back into pants, stood up to button/zip, and the toothpick tore through the pocket and stabbed me right in the cock.

I had one of those post-workout semi-erections, too, so I bled a lot. All over my new CK underwear.

Moral of the story: to avoid this happening to you, 1) Don't eat out, 2) Don't work out, 3) Don't put on pants when not fully flaccid, 4) Don't buy CK underwear.

Or you'll end up like me.

 

[jelf]

Lol I subscribed

 

[mad scientist]

Thanks for the lulz.

 

[faceblogger]

Great Advice! LOL!

 

[seous]

Shit... You know when you hear something so painful relating to the pelvic region and you can instantly feel it? Yeah, that fucking hurt.

Anyways, thanks for the lulz =D

 

[Alive]

Yeah, I'm fucking giggling, too. Just tried to piss for the first time since the incident occurred. It was hilarious. I had tears rolling down my eyes, and I was screaming at the top of my lungs.

From the humor, of course.

Jackasses.

 

[bauss]

 

[Compound]

fucking hilarious!

i started cracking up when at the subject line

 

[jryan21]

This is almost as bad as sitting on your nuts when you are trying to take a shitter.

 

[TylerDurden]

This is almost as bad as sitting on your nuts when you are trying to take a shitter.

I can relate to this.

 

[ChrisS]

I had one of those post-workout semi-erections, too

Haha best part of the thread. Although, I usually get a full-on fuckin boner after a killer workout.

 

[Mike]

Moral of the story: to avoid this happening to you, 1) Don't eat out, 2) Don't work out, 3) Don't put on pants when not fully flaccid, 4) Don't buy CK underwear.

But it's okay to put toothpicks in your pocket.

Awesome!

Haha best part of the thread. Although, I usually get a full-on fuckin boner after a killer workout.

T M I Chris

 

[Dwight Schrute]

Haha best part of the thread. Although, I usually get a full-on fuckin boner after a killer workout.

I can relate. Makes it slightly awkward when you're walking to the shower at the gym.

 

[bauss]

apparently im the victim of witchcraft from a random google images pic =P

 

[Instrumentalist]

Post-workout stiffy fail.

 

[greyhat]

Happens way too often in this day and age.. to good folks like you too. Where is the fairness in that, i ask you?

 

[amateursurgeon]

A friend of mine got caught fucking one of the (underage) female swimmers when he was on the national swimming team (he was also underage at the time, no pedobear business going on).

He heard the coach coming in, and did up his flies so quickly he trapped his foreskin in them... it got mangled and he had to be circumcised. The coach didn't take any further sanctions because he said that was punishment enough.

Penile injury ftl.

 

[Drake]

So this story is what you told the doctor or your girlfriend but you are expecting us to buy it?

 

[dmnEPC]

This is almost as bad as sitting on your nuts when you are trying to take a shitter.

I can relate to this.

WTF Do you really relate to this? I cant. There's some saggy shit going around here.

 

[GerardWon]

OP -- the combination of your user name and this thread title is full of epic win...

Stabbed in the penis
Alive