Wal-Mart starts selling coffins

Lpdesigner

Lpdesigner

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The world's largest retailer, Wal-Mart, now plans to hold on to customers even after they die - by selling coffins.

Prices range from a "Mom" or "Dad Remembered" steel coffin for $895 (£540), to a bronze model at $2,899.

The retailer is allowing customers to plan ahead by paying for the caskets over 12 months for no interest. They can be dispatched within 48 hours.

Catering for cradle-to-grave needs, Wal-Mart already sells everything from baby wear to engagement rings.

A spokesman for the supermarket giant, Ravi Jariwala, said the new coffin range was "a limited beta test to understand customer response".

The retailer is offering caskets at prices that undercut many funeral homes, say correspondents.

But an industry spokesman said it was not unduly concerned about Wal-Mart's move, because he said the firm could not offer bereaved families the human touch.

Pat Lynch, of the National Funeral Home Directors Association, told AP news agency: "There's no question in my mind as a funeral director for nearly 40 years that the most critical element is the human contact."
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I'm guessing this is just an online thing.. it'd be pretty weird if they started selling coffins inside the stores lol

Search results for casket - Walmart
 


That would be awesome if you could hop inside them at the store and try before you buy. You could close the lid and wait for old ladies to walk by, then jump out and scare the fuck out of them.
 
I can't quite put my finger on why, but this makes me hate walmart more...Plus everyone remembers that shitty thing they bought at walmart that broke a week later. "Remember that coffin we got from walmart, and grandpa fell through the bottom when the pallbearers were carrying him...?"
 
I heard that door greeters are allowed a pre-tax savings plan toward a model of their choice.
 
LOL, I can see it now...

775redneck_coffin.jpg
 
Honestly, funeral prices are very inflated. I really don't mind seeing a little competition though I usually hate Wal-Mart.

There is an older book (which I think has been updated) called The American Way of Death that talks about the funeral industry.

But this does remind me of an old boss who told a joke about wanting to be buried under the Wal-Mart parking lot so his wife would visit him a couple of times a week. That's next... plots under parking spaces.
 
As someone that likes to goth it up a bit, I see nothing wrong with this. In fact, it might mean I can get my style of furniture a little more cheaply: Casket Furniture

LotsOfZeros said:
Dildos(butt plugs) at WalMart:
Walmart.com: Dogtronics Rumble Bumps: Dogs
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Or you could post the items that genuinely can be used for sexual gratification, some of which are even made by companies that do other sexual products *coughdurexcough*:
Walmart.com: HoMedics - Therapist Select Percussion Massager with Heat: Massage & Spa
Walmart.com: Durex Luna Personal Massager: Medicine Cabinet
Walmart.com: Healthometer Mini Personal Massager: Massage & Spa
 
If you put that shit on layaway I guess that would count towards "making final arrangements," just make sure you appoint a couple people who are good with allen wrenches and flathead screwdrivers to assemble it.
 
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