What have you done to yourself?

BlueYonder

BlueYonder

Flaming panties
Aug 13, 2008
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New York Metro
We're long overdue for a hurr durr thread. What kind of stupid things have you done to mutilate yourself, either purposely or accidentally?

I won a large bin of unshelled sunflower seeds a while back, and had fun chomping away at this nutritious snack. One day I cracked my front tooth opening a stubborn shell - giving me a snaggletooth. Not smart! It's small, but I want it fixed because I don't want a face full of character.

One day I bit down hard on a piece of refrigerated chocolate at an unfortunate angle, cracking a side tooth so badly it had to be pulled. This was eventually replaced with an expensive implant (either that, or else I'd continue looking like Daisy Duke).

Once as I was framing a picture as a gift for a friend, I sliced my hand open on the glass. I still have a scar. The things I do for friendship.

I did lots of other things, but ready to hear about your more interesting accidents.
 


I have a gnarly scar across the length of my elbow, much like you'd expect from a beating from Chuck Norris :)

Being careless going 40mph on a longboard results in you getting fuckkked up sometimes

I dont really have any funny stories to think of though. Let me think, when I was a kid I took one of the clear Costco storage containers to the top of the stairs with the intent of sliding down gloriously with a hint of cool. All that really happened though was I hit the first stair and went unwittingly into a front somersault. Well, more like 20 front somersaults, LA Gear shoes flashing the whole way down while afterward being ridiculed for fucking up so hilariously :)
 
I had one bicycle and bought another. The newly bought one had the back break on the left and side, instead of on the right as my normal bike. I got used to it until one day it broke so I went back on my old bicycle. I hit the left break hard flew over the handle bar and landed with my helmet and my knuckles on the pavement. Still have the scar.

Learning to ride a motorcycle, didn't calculate the curb/speed well, gashed out a good chunk of my shin. Still have melon scoop scar.

Broke my elbow doing a high kick in karate class. Still feel tingles on my left elbow when I do exercise.

Broke my wrist jumping off a ramp (agro skating). My wrist still hurts when I type for extended periods of time.

Hurt my back in a motorcycle accident. Broke one of my toes in two parts on a motorcycle accident. Burnt my foot as a kid playing with matches. Got a few scars which I don't know where I got them from, or atleast I'm sticking to that story ;)

I survived growing up, but I gotta say there were a lot of close ones, in fact, I consider myself lucky; I was damn crazy.
 
Auh shit..you just done opened up a can of Chuck Norris!!!



"Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas."

"Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis."




Garrett said:
I have a gnarly scar across the length of my elbow, much like you'd expect from a beating from Chuck Norris :)

Being careless going 40mph on a longboard results in you getting fuckkked up sometimes

I dont really have any funny stories to think of though. Let me think, when I was a kid I took one of the clear Costco storage containers to the top of the stairs with the intent of sliding down gloriously with a hint of cool. All that really happened though was I hit the first stair and went unwittingly into a front somersault. Well, more like 20 front somersaults, LA Gear shoes flashing the whole way down while afterward being ridiculed for fucking up so hilariously :)
Click to expand...
 
This thread is useless without pics.

Fractured my wrist playing hockey never went to the doc thought it was a sprain. Fractured it again 6 months later again playing hockey and ended up having to get surgery since it didn't heal properly from the 1st time.

Had to get bone taken from my hip and wires and screws put in my wrist. When in doubt see the fuckin' doctor right away, lesson learned. If I went right away the 1st time I could have skipped the surgery part.

Cast for 6 weeks once surgery was over, this was the same day they took the cast and staples out I believe, enjoy the grossness:

2z3o32v.jpg
 
I bit my tounge while eating 3 days ago, thought nothing if it did not bleed at the time. Later that evening felt something under my tongue and pulled it with my teeth.

Felt a little pop and blood started pumping out from under my tongue. Mouth kept filling up with blood and could not get it to stop bleeding. Went to E.R about 1am got 6 stitches under tongue, I popped a blood vessel under tongue lots of fun.
 
when i was a kid, I got into a fight , got pushed onto something pretty sharp and it cut right through my ear. It was bloody painful and I had to get it stiched up. one half of my ear was literally hanging
 
m0rtal said:
This thread is useless without pics.

Fractured my wrist playing hockey never went to the doc thought it was a sprain. Fractured it again 6 months later again playing hockey and ended up having to get surgery since it didn't heal properly from the 1st time.

Had to get bone taken from my hip and wires and screws put in my wrist. When in doubt see the fuckin' doctor right away, lesson learned. If I went right away the 1st time I could have skipped the surgery part.

Cast for 6 weeks once surgery was over, this was the same day they took the cast and staples out I believe, enjoy the grossness:

2z3o32v.jpg
Click to expand...

a'igh a'ight, heres my scar

photo4rl.jpg


here's my break

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....and the plate (got taken out after 1 year thankfully. FUCK physical therapy. :)

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yeeeuh mothafucka, chicks dig it lol
 
holy crap those look like they hurt. I don't even like thinking about what that must of been like. I still can't watch those crash and wreck shows where people break bones, especially legs.

On the plus side, when guys are drunk and bragging about how big their scars are it's an easy way to win a few free beers.

I'll spare you guys the nightmares from posting my femur scar. Those of you who saw it at ASW i appologize. I don't even know how it came up in conversation.
 
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Tons of skate/snowboarding accidents over the years. Many toes are fucked, ankles and chins are fucked (also immune to quite a bit of pain now - chin digs ftw). I move my toes the wrong way almost any given time now I get a foot cramp from hell. Scar on my head from tripping over a sign post as a kid, and sliding my head down the other one, tripped because I was looking back to see who was calling my name < best fail ever, emergency room, fam thought I was dying with so much blood - 18 stitches or so later it wasn't so bad.

My right ear has a little nick/piece missing from a haircut gone wrong when I was too young to remember - but am told about the story a lot as my mom freaked the fuck out/beat up the hairdresser seeing my head all bloody..
 
zingo said:
I bit my tounge while eating 3 days ago, thought nothing if it did not bleed at the time. Later that evening felt something under my tongue and pulled it with my teeth.

Felt a little pop and blood started pumping out from under my tongue. Mouth kept filling up with blood and could not get it to stop bleeding. Went to E.R about 1am got 6 stitches under tongue, I popped a blood vessel under tongue lots of fun.
Click to expand...

W.t.f. Great, now I'm afraid to eat!


+ when I was like 8 I was cleaning up the contents of a tacklebox that my friends dumped on the floor to play with, and I got a fishhook shanked right into my finger. That might not have been so bad, except there was a 2-foot-long chain hanging from it.
 
Got a dent and scar just above my forehead from a skull fracture in an auto accident. Guess I have a thick skull after all :)
 
Deliguy said:
holy crap those look like they hurt. I don't even like thinking about what that must of been like.
Click to expand...

I always thought the same thing, but it wasn't bad at all. Confidence points as far as my pain tolerance goes hahaha

Best part was the mega amounts of morphine. I was like "ohhhhhhh, OK. Hey bro, my arm is broked blahahah"
 
I broke my left leg in 2 places and my right collarbone at the same time in an ATV accident. On the first official day of summer.

Too lazy to upload pics but my collarbone was never reset and it's snapped out of place still.
 
And yeah in regards to any pain...it really wasn't that bad. After the accident I went numb and then went into a light shock, didn't really feel anything. It felt good when he put the cast on my leg.
 
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