What The Terrorists Are Probably Thinking...

Trademark

Copywriter / Author
Jun 30, 2007
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[Setting: A terrorist training camp somewhere deep in the hidden recesses of the Pashtun Valley...]

[Scene: Two veteran, battle-hardened terrorists sit in a control room and contemplate the mark they're leaving on the world...]


Tony: Hey Chuck...

Chuck: Yeah?

Tony: Check this out.

Chuck: {walks over to Tony, who is sitting in front of a computer.} What?

Tony: Remember that Hasan guy?

Chuck: Yeah, total failboat. What about him?

Tony: These guys on this forum are arguing about which is worse... radical Islamists or radical Christians.

Chuck: You're kidding.

Tony: I'm not. Take a look.

Chuck: {reads thread} Win! Hey, take a look at the forum name.

Tony: "Wicked Fire..." Uh-huh.

Chuck: Dude, we should totally call the training camp that! We'd be huge!

Tony: Awwww, yeah boy. Check it out, we could call ourselves "Wicked Fire: Bringin' The Fire!"

Chuck: {looks at Tony with a hint of disdain}

Tony: What?

Chuck: You're an idiot.

Tony: Why?

Chuck: It's not "Wicked Fire: Bringin' The Fire". That's totally gay. Just "Wicked Fire".

Tony: Fine. You don't have to be a prick about it.

Chuck: Ass.

Tony: Douchebag.

Chuck: That's why no one likes, man.

Tony: Yeah? Your mom liked me last night.

Chuck: Want another beatdown?

Tony: Sorry.

Chuck: Your momma's sorry.

{Chuck and Tony laugh}

Tony: Dude, close the door. I wanna show you something.

Chuck: {walks over to the door, closes it, and walks back over to Tony}

Tony: Click on this thread. The one titled, "2k boobie bash, erect style"

Chuck: {clicks on thread and begins scrolling} Whoa. I don't think those girls are virgins.

Tony: Brother, I'd trade all 70 of my virgins for just 15 minutes with one of those girls.

Chuck: 15 minutes? What are you... 12 years old?

Tony: Your mom's 12.

Chuck: That doesn't even make sense, douchebag. Talk less.

Tony: Hey. Check out that link... the one that says, "Make Monies Online." That could be good for funding. Click it.

{Click.}

[... to be continued...]
 


yes, two pashtun soldiers named Tony and Chuck. I'm sure that's what their names would be.
 
You write an epistle of drivel and you can't think up two Muslim names? Here's a couple: Mohammed, Achmed, Salami, Akbar, Allah..