I want to kill my girlfriend's dog

wezcountry

wezcountry

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Aug 31, 2009
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In the EUSSR
I love my girlfriend but I hate her creepy little dog. He's neurotic but weirdly intelligent, pisses himself if he gets over-excited, whines like a baby for attention and chews my feet and shoes. He randomly does a 'poo poo' in the living room and I can't stand him. Frankly, death is too good for him. She lives on the top floor of an apartment block and I am quite close to giving him a free flying lesson. Unfortunately the GF loves him. Arrgghhh I don't know what to do...
 


Firstly, I want to say that killing the dog off will bring bad karma back on you. So read below at your own risk.

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So, now that you've decided to kill the dog off, you need a way to do it that happens over time and can't be traced back to you. You need to also decide if you want the dog to go painfully (which will probably end in your place getting wrecked from it losing control of its body) or quietly.

If you want it painful, then give it Thyroid medication. Two pills a day over time will kill it off, leading to it dying a week or two later once its thyroid is destroyed. Do note, your GF will end up spending a ton on medical bills to try and help her dog.

If you want it quiet, then give it a few sleeping pills at a time every day.

If you put these medications in some food, then the dog will probably eat it and not be weird around you when your girlfriend is around.

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Now, I don't advocate killing animals, but that's how I'd do it.
 
How could you even think about killing something so smart and cute...and it's man's best friend bro

killing people is okay though, especially muslims... so maybe you should kill one of those instead?

TwxQL.jpg


EDIT: I just kid obviously

good luck bros
 
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wezcountry said:
I love my girlfriend but I hate her creepy little dog. He's neurotic but weirdly intelligent, pisses himself if he gets over-excited, whines like a baby for attention and chews my feet and shoes. He randomly does a 'poo poo' in the living room and I can't stand him. Frankly, death is too good for him. She lives on the top floor of an apartment block and I am quite close to giving him a free flying lesson. Unfortunately the GF loves him. Arrgghhh I don't know what to do...
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Grow up. And get it some training.
 
wezcountry said:
your dog looks ok though ... and normal. the dog I'm talking about is like a rat with a brain.
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Rats are pretty intelligent and awesome creatures. Get him checked by a vet particularly if this behaviour is new to him/ has come on recently, there could be a physical issue behind it. If the vet gives him a clean bill of health then it is either stress or a behavioural problem thats been trained into him. People who don't fully understand animal behaviour can inadvertently train negative behaviours into their animals, its pretty easy to do. A behaviourist can help train better behaviours or get to the root of the problem. It could be that he's stressed though, particularly if you are showing that you don't like him or feels attention is being taken away from him with you being around. I'm just speculating though, I don't know much about dogs in particular or how they work but these patterns above are the common steps with just about every species I've worked with.
 
Stupid fucking useless dog... that's the kind of shit that makes people rack up canine kills

BluAffiliate;9917[IMG said:
http://imgur.com/IaqRE.jpg[/IMG]
My dog .. destroyed the American flag and my pillows. Hope Popeye doesn't kill him for this.
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wezcountry said:
I love my girlfriend but I hate her creepy little dog. He's neurotic but weirdly intelligent, pisses himself if he gets over-excited, whines like a baby for attention and chews my feet and shoes. He randomly does a 'poo poo' in the living room and I can't stand him. Frankly, death is too good for him. She lives on the top floor of an apartment block and I am quite close to giving him a free flying lesson. Unfortunately the GF loves him. Arrgghhh I don't know what to do...
Click to expand...

Pisses himself when excited = Crate Training

Shits in the apt. = Crate Training

Only a crate large enough to sleep in. They won't poop or pee where they sleep. This also creates better blatter control.

Third - You/She needs to TRAIN the dog. Get toys they enjoy, NEVER allow them to chew or bite anything but the toy. The dog needs positive re-enforcement. Use small treats as a tool to create this environment. (Sit - treat, stay - treat, no chewing - treat.,... but gradually leave the treats behind)


Also - Get the dog outside! They are not normally indoor creatures.

(I currently have my 2nd cocker spaniel. They piss and pee when excited like nobodies business. Crate Training cures all. 2.5 weeks into training, no more pissing or pooping. yahooooo)
 
Get an ice pick and jab it in both of your eyes... then you will not notice it shitting and pissing.. problem solved.
 
The problem is almost always the owners. I've trained about a dozen dogs/owners over the years besides my families dogs.

Sounds to me like dog has never been trained.... and your attitude affects his behavior.

At least get a book so YOU understand how the pack mentality works.... since the GF is definitely not in charge and neither are you.

Somebody has to be the alpha -- and if you really don't like the dog it can't be you.
 
I had the same problem once but she had a rabbit. When it comes to chicks and stupid annoying animals the only answer is...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDd-GXkMrJs"]YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.[/ame]
 
Rexibit said:
So, now that you've decided to kill the dog off, you need a way to do it that happens over time and can't be traced back to you. You need to also decide if you want the dog to go painfully (which will probably end in your place getting wrecked from it losing control of its body) or quietly.

If you want it painful, then give it Thyroid medication. Two pills a day over time will kill it off, leading to it dying a week or two later once its thyroid is destroyed. Do note, your GF will end up spending a ton on medical bills to try and help her dog.

If you want it quiet, then give it a few sleeping pills at a time every day.

If you put these medications in some food, then the dog will probably eat it and not be weird around you when your girlfriend is around.
Click to expand...

Gravely concerned for you...
 
What everyone else has said.

Train it or get it trained. Also, get the dog walking outside at least twice a day - let it go for a run and tire itself out.

By that time it'll have worn itself out and used up all it's extra energy so it won't be harassing you and the furniture.

It'll be happier too which means you will be as well.
 
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