10 Things You Hate...

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Jon

Jon

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Jun 21, 2006
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Name 10 things you hate dealing with in terms of being an affiliate where it sounds like more of an excuse as to why you aren't going to be paid on time. Whether they are from networks, hosting, designers, programmers, scammers, Aff managers, or the industry itself etc.

If you're an Aff manager or network owner, you can definitely put something in as for excuses on why an advertiser or another network doesn't want to pay you on time.

I'm using these ideas for either a WF poster or our tshirt for Miami, and I just came up with the concept for it right now, but I can't think of 10 of them on the spot.

Here are some that I came up with.

1- Servers went down.
2- Couldn't track pixels correctly.
3- Waited too long to convert our leads.
4- Decided not to work during a holiday or weekend.
5- Not doing paper checks anymore.
6- Advertiser couldn't convert the zip/email submit leads.
 


Jon said:
1- Servers went down.
2- Couldn't track pixels correctly.
3- Waited too long to convert our leads.
4- Decided not to work during a holiday or weekend.
5- Not doing paper checks anymore.
6- Advertiser couldn't convert the zip/email submit leads.
Click to expand...


7- Your check was returned to us.
8- You did not reply to our email about updating your account.
9- We just changed banks and the data is not updated yet
10- The payment threshold was changed and you don't have enough sales.

But, really -- we never planned on paying you anyway!
 
topshelf said:
7- Your check was returned to us.
8- You did not reply to our email about updating your account.
9- We just changed banks and the data is not updated yet
10- The payment threshold was changed and you don't have enough sales.

But, really -- we never planned on paying you anyway!
Click to expand...

Wow, that just took me back to the adult affiliate marketing days..
 
1. Having PayPal only Payout for International Affiliates.
2. Getting Automatically Rejected for Affiliate Programs at CJ.
 
trigatch4 said:
linked to an offer in a post for something specific that is now redirecting to international smileys because the offer was removed
Click to expand...

This is a biggy, and when i analyze the competition on US only offers, since i am in Canada, i always get redirected to the most random crap. You think that there would be at least a North American related offer they can redirect to, even if they are going to redirect at all.
 
Come on guys.. there have to be more complaints that we get! I know it's tough to think of on the spot, but try your hardest!!
 
Excuses I've heard for affiliate companies:

1. DDoS hit our backend so we couldn't track sales.

2. Your wire is lower than expected because there were chargebacks from previous months.

3. We were raided and the government seized all of our assests so we can't pay affiliates.

4. It's a bank holiday or postal holiday so payments will be late this week.

5. We are switching banks so that is why your commission check bounced.

6. We are having merchant account problems and the bank won't release our funds.

Here is some I've heard from cointractors:

1. My parents got divorced.

2. Death in the family.

3. Had to study for tests.

5. Nothing......

6. Nothing at all........

7. Not a fucking peep......
 
Sorry I can't help - I've never not been paid... In fact, I was surprised at the lengths that CJ And Linkshare went to in order to get checks to us that were sent back to them because the post office is full of lametards that can't process an address change correctly.

Love the idea, though. :D
 
I will escalate your question to *insert other group here* - then never receive an answer to your question.

This typically happens when I question the tracking on campaigns on a certain network.
 
"Your application has been rejected..."

... contact AM ...

"Sorry, I don't know why your application was rejected. Change some settings around and re-apply, maybe that will work."

---

"Hi! I have an absolutely garbage affiliate program that pays less than the big name brand that you've been working with for years! Sign up today and I'll pay you a $2 signup bonus after you complete 4 sales, fill out a rebate form, spin around in your chair 8 times, send me 9 confirmation emails, and do something with this gerbil that's illegal in 35 states!"

---

"Your links will continue to work unless you want to actually receive commission, in which case you'll now have to figure out how to integrate our new javascript links that do nothing for you but make us feel happier."

---

"The API features numerous features, some of which are documented. Most are not. Good luck fucker."

---

"Read my blog! It's a blog! You must read it! There is absolutely zero information of substance in there, but as an affiliate, it's your priviledge to read my affiliate management blog to learn how bloggy we are."

---

Sorry, rant over.
 
- I know you're producing more in a month then my salary for a year, but we cannot send you an international wire, we understand that your bank will put a 30 day hold on your funds because of this but we dont' give a rats ass.

By the way, are you interested in promoting xyz program with us too?

- I'm sorry but your application is declined.

ring ring "Hi my application was declined."

Ok we accepted it now, welcome aboard!
 
1. Auto reject of non US affiliate application;
2. Not answering emails for issue #1;
3. Stupid policy - no PPC allowed to promote the products;
4. No bidding on brandname allowed - even if you are promoting that company's brandnames;
5. corruption: allowing some affiliates to bid on the brandname, when the rest of us have to stick to #4;
6. Not paying commission via Paypal - takes ages for international affiliates to receive the cheque and cash out, F*** !
7. No recurring commission for susbcription sites;
 
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