Airport Security?

Last couple times I've flown, I've had my suitcase bomb tested, my phone 'randomly' bomb swabbed (almost everytime), asked if my passport is real, my laptop bomb swabbed, stopped to bomb test my lighters.

However, never had to go through one of those machines and this year only set the metal detector off twice. First time, simple wand, no problem and let through.

Second time was in Berlin, walked through and I beeped (assumed it was my watch) then the guy starts wanding me and he reaches my shoes - the first one goes off and at this point it's a serious big FML. Start to get scared haha, then he does the second shoe and it goes off again so I'm bricking it bad but he let me go after that. No pat down at all.

I think those full body scanners at LHR are optional, and you can opt for the pat down.

Oh and if anyone has a gold watch, you can go through detectors without setting it off! :p
 


I usually like to read through threads completely before commenting... I will later.

But I just flew to NYC...

sorry dude but you missed the point. nobody has a problem with metal detectors. This thread is about the pat downs and these scanners that won't help anybody.

as said before... this is what should've been done.

The 'Israelification' of airports: High security, little bother - thestar.com

Also, it's funny how passengers get screened massively but they just managed to stop bombing plots using cargo planes. Why? Because cargo doesn't get screened nearly as much as passengers do - because they have companies that stand up for it.

I agree with someone else in here before and say: Whoever is OK with these scanners is a sheep. If a terrorist wants to bring a plane down, they'll just use a stinger that they got from the american government in the 80's to bring those russian hind d's down.
 
^ Epic. I think I have listened to this a good 4 times now.

Paul usually sounds incredulous at what he sees happening around him. As in, "Are you guys serious? Do you not read history? Do you not understand economics?"

Here, he seems pissed. And I'm glad to see it.

If you're still planning on wearing your kilt, I hope you intend to "go Braveheart." ;)

braveheartrev03.jpg
 
My wife usually gets the total inspection.. It's sort of funny, she's a tiny white chick, traveling on orders from the USAF, sometimes in uniform, a Lt. Colonel, with top secret clearance, and she has been stopped for fruit in her carry on..

She's retired now and will never fly commercial ever again..
 
I can vouch for this... I'm not white, and I travel a lot. If race was the issue, I'd be getting scrutinized every time. Funny enough, the only time I've been subject to a full body search is in Dubai (same race). Not because I "stood out", but because they felt a 21-year old [at that time] can't afford a $16k ticket without selling drugs. Pricks literally took out everything and examined it for the smallest trace of narcotics. Dress normal, be polite, follow the rules, and usually you'll be on your way.

Otherwise, if you're too precious to put up with this shit -- fly private. Can't fly private? Deal with it like the rest of us peasants. They're not getting any satisfaction out of this, it's to keep us safe, so suck it up darlings.

What kind of ticket cost $16K? Just curious since I can fly anywhere in the world for max up to $2K :)
 
I'm flying out of knoxville tomorrow. Is the pat down mandatory? If not, can I request one?

I believe you can at most airports with the exceptions of Dallas and Newark.

The correct way to request said pat-down is to wink at the TSA employee, lick your lips, and breathe deeply through your nose. This is the code.

Once you have done that, sit back and enjoy.

tsa3.jpg
 
I believe you can at most airports with the exceptions of Dallas and Newark.

The correct way to request said pat-down is to wink at the TSA employee, lick your lips, and breathe deeply through your nose. This is the code.

Once you have done that, sit back and enjoy.

tsa3.jpg

Do the provide tissues or should I bring some along?

I wonder if they'll notice if I go through security three or four times....
 
Do the provide tissues or should I bring some along?

I wonder if they'll notice if I go through security three or four times....

I'm not sure about the protocol in Knoxville. I was told by a friend in TSA that Houston actually encourages multiple visits. In fact, according to her, there is a wait list among TSA employees for the "three-peat detail."

As she put it, "my co-workers like 'em a little messy."


tsa_breast_groping.jpg
 
From sun-sentinel.com:

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is warning that any would-be commercial airline passenger who enters an airport checkpoint and then refuses to undergo the method of inspection designated by TSA will not be allowed to fly and also will not be permitted to simply leave the airport.

That person will have to remain on the premises to be questioned by the TSA and possibly by local law enforcement. Anyone refusing faces fines up to $11,000 and possible arrest.
Tyranny.