Chimp Fights Human
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Chimps are no joke, especially the adult males. National Geographic did a show where these three guys pissed off an adult male chimp when they drove their car past him. The chimp chased them for miles until they crashed. It killed one of them right away (after biting his fingers off.) The other two ran - one made it back with gashes all over him, but the other one ran into a bunch of chimps and two of them held him down while the rest basically tore him limb from limb and ate his genitals.
They were all like "you're not taking over chimp island too, biach". First we offer food, then we start building hotels. 
Dude those guys are chumps, go get 20 homies with baseball bats and claim your corner...bitches. You'll be getting mad monkey ass by Friday.
I was joking.. me and a chimp one on one, would that make you happy? I can rip off genitals and eat them too...
When the ape wins and I die... he still doesn't have his frank and beans. Loser
Yea chimps are no joke. I saw a documentary a while back where this man and woman raised a chimp from baby to adult. The fucking thing snapped one day and beat this poor guy almost to death. He was in the hospital for months. This thin rip his fucking ear off, and bit the shit out of his face. Fuck that, "This is my BOOM Stick!!"
Don't forget your video camera - so you can youtube it.
Of course it wouldn't be the first time a group of guys spanked a monkey on webcam... LOL
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