Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen.

[dreamache]

 

[ShadowCaster]

 

[powell1]

It's quite funny, because as a whole we've got a forum full of people here that are sick of self-entitled, spoiled kids running around acting their shit doesnt stink.

Yet a ton of those same people are up in arms about a father doing his best to put an end to that self-entitlement in the best way he knows how.

From thread to thread, I start to realize just how hypocritical a lot of people here are and how much they LOVE trying to force their opinion's on others.

+1.

Most people here like to simply argue for fun. Calling the dad out for doing something you deem "petty and immature" and insulting those on a forum for disagreeing with your opinion? LOL.

For the comments about this teaching the daughter not to question authority, I think that is the result of you looking at the situation from an emotional perspective. Questioning authority by itself is more dangerous than valuable if you don't teach critical thinking. Disregarding authority with no basis as to why is just plain dumb. And since teaching your kids to respect their parents and teaching them critical thought are not mutually exclusive, there is really no issue.

Not the way you would have done it? Fine. Does that make you right and him wrong? From the comments, apparently. There is obviously a pattern of behavior in the daughter that needs to be broken. It sounds like less direct methods of dealing with it haven't been effective.

I commend the guy on at least taking a hard line against behavior that should be immediately stopped. When I fucked up, my dad let me know it. There was certainly no mistaking, or forgetting, the consequences of crossing the line. Did I like it at the time? No, what kid does? The old man was a hardass, and looking back, I'm grateful that he was.

Only time will tell if the approach is reasonable. So many of the people I meet today had meek parents that tried to talk shit out with a kid who's brain wasn't fully developed, and had no life experiences on which to base rational decisions. Parents that coddle kids emotionally aren't doing them any favors for a world that will kick their ass every chance they get.

And guess how the kids turn out? Weak, and it usually manifests itself in one of two ways: Lack in people skills, can't handle themselves when they are faced with hard times, can't stand up to people, and get walked all over. Wishy-washy thinking who's opinions change with the tide, and can't think for themselves. Or the super entitled, I deserve the world because mommy and daddy said so, mentality. Inside of both lives a weak child that was never able to fully develop because the parents failed to equip them with the mental fortitude.

It must be the result of a line of thinking that a child is capable of making decisions more important that what they'd like to eat for dinner. Giving the kid at way too young an age that their opinion holds equal weight to that of their parents. Also because that is the easy way out of being a parent. Have the kid tell you what to do instead of actually having to make the choice yourself.

But I see the positive in both sides. To the parents out there that are raising their kids this way, thank you. My kids will have an extrordinary advantage as they get older. And they'll need someone to serve them food at restaurants, dig their ditches, and pump their gas.

Also, to the parents that give their kids clear boundaries, and kick their asses a bit when they blow through them instead of saying try harder next time; the same parents that as they are teaching their kid to ride a bike, see the kid fall off and get a bit beat up, the kid is crying doesn't want to do it anymore cause it's too hard and they can't do it, make that kid get back on the bike and ride, teaching the kid they can overcome adversity. Thanks are in order. My kids will have peers to connect with and enjoy life with.

Life can be a bitch, harden the fuck up. And if you love your kids, teach them to do the same.

 

[JakeStratham]

Like BilltheButcher said, judging another person's parenting style is presumptuous. His approach may work for him. If it were my kid, I would have sat her down the first time (months prior) and said:

"You're about to learn a few life lessons.

"First, property. My house, my rules. I'm an owner. You're a guest. Do this again, and you're done here. Find somewhere else to live, even if that means blowing random johns in bathroom stalls.

"Second, risk management. If you do this again, I may never find out. Then again, maybe I will. I have eyes everywhere. Win or lose, you choose.

"Third, choices and consequences. Every choice you make imposes consequences. It's true for investments, business decisions, and posting seemingly benign letters on FB. If I kick you out, your life may be more difficult down the road.

"Property, risk, and choices. You'll be dealing with all three for the rest of your life. Your education starts today. Now go make me coffee."

 

[tspesh]

What is with this "I don't judge other people's parenting techniques" mindset towards a guy that demonstrates his parenting techniques so publicly?

He put himself out there to be judged. It's ok to judge jagoffs that do that.

 

[dreamache]

Like BilltheButcher said, judging another person's parenting style is presumptuous. His approach may work for him. If it were my kid, I would have sat her down the first time (months prior) and said:

"You're about to learn a few life lessons.

"First, property. My house, my rules. I'm an owner. You're a guest. Do this again, and you're done here. Find somewhere else to live, even if that means blowing random johns in bathroom stalls.

"Second, risk management. If you do this again, I may never find out. Then again, maybe I will. I have eyes everywhere. Win or lose, you choose.

"Third, choices and consequences. Every choice you make imposes consequences. It's true for investments, business decisions, and posting seemingly benign letters on FB. If I kick you out, your life may be more difficult down the road.

"Property, risk, and choices. You'll be dealing with all three for the rest of your life. Your education starts today. Now go make me coffee."

It may very well work for him, but you have to define what "work" is. I'd say it's likely he won't ever have a truly open relationship with her for as long as she's living in his house, while she may respect his rules and never do a single thing wrong. If he's fine with that, okay, it works.

 

[JakeStratham]

It may very well work for him, but you have to define what "work" is. I'd say it's likely he won't ever have a truly open relationship with her for as long as she's living in his house, while she may respect his rules and never do a single thing wrong. If he's fine with that, okay, it works.

I agree. This is one of the reasons it is difficult for me to discern whether a person's parenting style is appropriate. I cannot know what this man hopes to achieve, and so cannot know if the measures he takes bring him closer to his goal.

I am unemotional. Thus, I see no reason to prioritize blood (familial ties) over character. So, for me, winning a family member's respect means nothing if the person in question has a defective character.

This girl sounds like a brat. And she's old enough to know - and do - better. This guy needs to abandon his emotions, and lay down the law. Then, enforce it.

Edit: lol There I go claiming what this guy needs to do right after I said I shouldn't judge his parenting style. Maybe drama works for this guy.

 

[turbolapp]

lol ya you're right, all I really was trying to say is that it's great to educate yourself and "do the right thing" and raise a great kid the right way, but that's something you have to want or intend, which most people do not.

OOOooh. Hm well maybe that's why we have a 9 month gestation period along with about a year after that that doesn't require much in the way of "discipline". Plenty of time to get yo shit together and hit the books

I'm also going to use this moment to say (to everyone) If you don't remember anything else about parenting and discipline remember only this one thing: AFT (Always Follow Through). Doesn't matter with what. If you said it, do it. You get almost instantaneous and long term results with that method. You've also just nailed about 75% of parental discipline down right there, just by utilizing motto.

 

[Tommy Chong]

And since teaching your kids to respect their parents and teaching them critical thought are not mutually exclusive, there is really no issue.

Are you claiming that a person's parents are entitled to be respected simply because they had sex and conceived them?

There is obviously a pattern of behavior in the daughter that needs to be broken. It sounds like less direct methods of dealing with it haven't been effective.

I commend the guy on at least taking a hard line against behavior that should be immediately stopped.

What exactly did his daughter do wrong?
Questioned authority? Exercised her freedom of speech? Think for herself?

As far as I'm concerned, all of these actions should be rewarded.

And guess how the kids turn out? Weak, and it usually manifests itself in one of two ways: Lack in people skills, can't handle themselves when they are faced with hard times, can't stand up to people, and get walked all over.

I guess someone that considers violence and control as the answer to their family's problems would see peaceful nonviolent actions as "weak".

It must be the result of a line of thinking that a child is capable of making decisions more important that what they'd like to eat for dinner.

So are you telling us that your children are retarded? That's fine if that's the case, but it's absurd if you think normal IQ'd kids have no more intelligence than being able to decide what to eat. That is, of course, unless maybe you have told them what to do every step of their entire lives and they have no ability to think for themselves..

But I see the positive in both sides. To the parents out there that are raising their kids this way, thank you. My kids will have an extrordinary advantage as they get older. And they'll need someone to serve them food at restaurants, dig their ditches, and pump their gas.

LOL! The children that were allowed to think for themselves will be the ones that come up with the innovative business ideas and employ those that were taught that they are worthless and have to be told what to do. Common sense bro.

Also, to the parents that give their kids clear boundaries, and kick their asses a bit when they blow through them instead of saying try harder next time;

So this means you condone violence towards children, correct?

My kids will have slaves to serve with and hate life with.

FTFY

 

[Uptime]

I can't remember the last time I was this disappointed. What was the father thinking? To empty a clip of hollow point .45's into a notebook and not flip it over to show the digital exit wounds! He didn't even have to bend over. He could have flipped it over with his shoe. I have to agree with all the other father bashing posters here. This was totally irresponsible. Can't get the thought of what the other side looked liked out of my head. Worst parent ever.

 

[Uncle Tony]

Until then, she can do chores, and lots and lots of them, so the people who ARE feeding her, clothing her, paying for all her school trips, paying for her musical instruments, can have some time to relax after they finish working to support her and the rest of the family. She can either work to make money on her own, or she will do chores to contribute around the house. She’s known all along that all she has to do is get a job and a lot of these chores will go away.

The implication here seems to be that school work isn't as hard as whatever 9-5 drudgery he does, and is not valuable because it doesn't make any money. Great logic eh? He's paying tens of thousands of dollars every year for her school, shelter, food, "musical instruments" etc but wants to skimp on paying the cleaning lady just so he can show his daughter who's boss by making her do menial boring work? And then he wonders why there is animosity between them. Sounds like an insecure, petty bastard trying to throw his weight around just because he can. What kind of antiquated, retarded shit are these supposed "values" of doing chores anyway. The only reason anyone ever ought to do chores is if they can't afford help (which doesn't seem to be the case with this family).