Finally... Taking Action (Join me)



I'm starting a research project here at school; my hypothesis is that a pizza fart is equivalent to an ice cream fart. What I'll be doing is setting up some sensors that measure the levels of methane, sulfur and other trace elements to give each fart its own fingerprint. If I take enough samples of the two farts and can't prove them to be unique, then they must be equivalent.

It's no problem getting hundreds of starving college students to eat free pizza and ice cream. My issue is with the data collection. Should I use some 3/4" tubing, attach it to a bag and have the sensors in the bag, or should I just place the sensors in a tube and insert directly in the subjects' anal cavity, prior to an expected "flatulence event"?
 
jryan21 said:
I'm starting a research project here at school; my hypothesis is that a pizza fart is equivalent to an ice cream fart. What I'll be doing is setting up some sensors that measure the levels of methane, sulfur and other trace elements to give each fart its own fingerprint. If I take enough samples of the two farts and can't prove them to be unique, then they must be equivalent.

It's no problem getting hundreds of starving college students to eat free pizza and ice cream. My issue is with the data collection. Should I use some 3/4" tubing, attach it to a bag and have the sensors in the bag, or should I just place the sensors in a tube and insert directly in the subjects' anal cavity, prior to an expected "flatulence event"?
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Couldn't someones unique biology have an impact on the results? Like say if someone was lactose intolerant and didn't know it. Would that make their farts smell different with the cheese from the pizza / ice cream? Or say they went to a party the night before and drank a bunch of Heinekens. Or had hard boiled eggs for breakfast. The first farts of the morning could be really potent, leading you to believe that it was from the ice cream / pizza...when it could be something completely different. All stuff to consider in your research.
 
jryan21 said:
I'm starting a research project here at school; my hypothesis is that a pizza fart is equivalent to an ice cream fart. What I'll be doing is setting up some sensors that measure the levels of methane, sulfur and other trace elements to give each fart its own fingerprint. If I take enough samples of the two farts and can't prove them to be unique, then they must be equivalent.

It's no problem getting hundreds of starving college students to eat free pizza and ice cream. My issue is with the data collection. Should I use some 3/4" tubing, attach it to a bag and have the sensors in the bag, or should I just place the sensors in a tube and insert directly in the subjects' anal cavity, prior to an expected "flatulence event"?
Click to expand...

I have an extremely gassy 3-legged pit bull I can offer up for your experiment.
 
willcosys said:
OK, enough of this bullshit. This thread is now about pizza. What is your favorite pizza joint?
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I like the Menu Selection at this place.

pzzaslicemenu.jpg

pzzaslicemenu.jpg
 
jryan21 said:
or should I just place the sensors in a tube and insert directly in the subjects' anal cavity, prior to an expected "flatulence event"?
Click to expand...

I'd go with this. Although I'm not sure about the 'prior to an expected flatulence event'. What if it's one of those explosive farts that can't be delayed in any way. You'll basically be shit out of luck.

There's no need to waste a good fart.

In my professional opinion I wholeheartedly recommend you instruct your test subjects to endure a more permanent insertion for the duration of the study. You know, for those 'unexpected events' ;)
 
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