Fuck those holiday blues, bros

boatBurner

boatBurner

shutup, crime!
Feb 24, 2012
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We had our first of what we hope to become a tradition of annual Christmas parties last night. Attending were all of our friends, old and new. It was a great time.

A close friend of mine, someone I've known for over a decade and fellow entrepreneur got incredibly drunk and hit the bottom pretty hard at some point in the night. Breaking down, he talked about being owed $12,000, being behind on the rent, and overall failing his family of four. All of this stress came out in a really violent and heart-breaking way, especially for someone that I've always known to be level-headed and optimistic.

I totally understood where he was coming from. I was there earlier this year and I'm not out of the woods yet myself. But it was a reminder that this shit is fucking hard for everyone, especially for those of us carrying a family on our shoulders.

Don't you fuckers let this stress defeat you. This shit is trivial in comparison to the relationships in your life and the value of the few that really care about you.

"OP u gey, we all ballaz, beta fag."

Okay. Well, you still might like to check this out.

Redditor looking for inspiration requests an AMA from someone who has earned millions of dollars and then lost it all. In response, best selling author, hedge-fund manager, and entrepreneur James Altucher documents what is was like going from millions to zero many times over, and how it impacted his life. Great read.
 


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boatBurner said:
he talked about being owed $12,000
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What's with the high AR? Interested to hear more about this. Multiple clients? One big bill? This needs to be remedied before it metastasizes. However, as a fellow business owner... if this is true:

boatBurner said:
being behind on the rent
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What is he doing out getting loaded at parties? Sorry OP, I know it's Christmas and all but if you're the breadwinner and you have dependents your only priority is to win the bread. Hard times are a man's chance to truly shine and sitting around getting shitfaced and playing the victim isn't shining.

boatBurner said:
This shit is trivial in comparison to
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... again I'll have to disagree. He made the decision to create a family (or join one, not sure about his family composition) and therefore getting the job done and providing for them is not trivial. Nothing is more important than this - there are a number of other WF'ers that can speak from experience here. Place your family at anything less than #1 and you may find you no longer have a family.

Again, sorry to hear about your buddy and I wish him the best, but as his friend the best gift you could give is to sit down and help him craft a plan of attack to get his affairs in order so he can storm out of the gate in 2014.
 
tangy said:
Again, sorry to hear about your buddy and I wish him the best, but as his friend the best gift you could give is to sit down and help him craft a plan of attack to get his affairs in order so he can storm out of the gate in 2014.
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An explanation isn't important, and I'll agree that he could use some help. Moral of the story here is that this shit is hard. Which is fine. But sometimes it's really hard. And chances are you've been there, are there right now, or will be there sometime in the future. Failure doesn't discriminate. But if and when you experience it, be prepared.

I think stress and how stress is handled among entrepreneurs is a topic that should have more visibility. Being stressed out and facing failure as entrepreneurs are things we don't really want to talk about. Sometimes it's just because that shit bums people out. But other times it's because we have pride and egos and all this other shit we feel like we have to live up to.

I'm not saying that we should sing Kumbaya and cry in a circle. But I think entrepreneurs, especially men, could benefit from being more prepared for the kind of stress that comes from this lifestyle. I cried on this forum a lot when I was getting out of the military. I used to hit up some of the members here during the darker days until I eventually got slapped and told to fuck off. But I didn't know how to deal. And I think if there was more chatter and less judgement from peers about how to deal with the stress, it could really help people like myself or my buddy.

Food for thought.
 
Them alcohol feels..

On a serious note, Tangy, really!? Are you a robot or just mediocre?

My old man was an incredibly talented entrepreneur who achieved a lot in a short life. He hit rock bottom after his first divorce: smoking ganja, drinking, losing hundreds of thousands through shit deals and not giving a fuck, culminating in losing his company etc. That was back in the early 80s.. If you could see his legacy now!!

My point is, it happens to the best of us I think. Until you really hit the bottom - where does the drive come from to strive for better? Good luck to you and your buddy, boatBurner..
 
boatBurner said:
I think stress and how stress is handled among entrepreneurs is a topic that should have more visibility.
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Everyone handles stress differently though, and uses different ways to manage it. If someone doesn't know what works for them yet, they'll figure it out in the future.

If anything, living frugally should be talked about more. A bunch of "ballers" who struck good on a campaign, then a year later can't afford the rent / mortgage anymore.
 
Kiopa_Matt said:
Everyone handles stress differently though, and uses different ways to manage it.
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Well sure, everyone handles everything differently. But I think there are some universally bad ways to handle stress that can easily become apart of a stressed out entrepreneur's routine. At the least, those situations can be talked about in length and understood better. At best, entrepreneurs from all walks and personality types can offer their own perspectives and what seemed to work for them.

It's a simple concept shrouded in a preconceived notion that if you're stressed and talking about it, you're wrong. I'd liken it to the alpha male culture in the military and how combat stress was previously regarded.
 
Im not being a smart ass, but its called money management skills for a reason. It is a crucial skill to develop.

I once had a revenue officer at a closing table with me where I handed her a check for 98k....I feelz bro, but I was only 27 or whatever the fuck it was.
 
boatBurner said:
Breaking down, he talked about being owed $12,000, being behind on the rent, and overall failing his family of four.
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Old me would have said this guy shouldnt be at the party, should man up, etc..

However, I have learned that people stress out over things that are just shit in life.

Stressing out over $12k? Thats bullshit. Donald Trump once said if your gonna go broke, dont go broke over a little amount of money, go broke big. millions big.

$12k is nothing to stress about. No I am not saying this because I think $12k can fall out of the air for some ballaz, I am saying $12k is nothing in the grand scheme of things, not because of the amount, but the fact is paper.

Behind on rent? So fucking what. Half of america is 1-2 months late on theirs too and everything is OK for the most part for lots of them. He is living on the edge and getting scared as fuck, which can actually be good for some people.

Failing his family of four? Why? How? They still in a house and eating right? Just because people get used to going on vacations, having iPads, having 3 new cars every year and now they maybe don't doesn't mean he failed them. If they are alive, healthy, safe, and protected he did all he needed as the man of the house.

Tell him to stop giving fuck all about useless shit.
 
eliquid said:
Behind on rent? So fucking what. Half of america is 1-2 months late on theirs too and everything is OK for the most part for lots of them. He is living on the edge and getting scared as fuck, which can actually be good for some people.
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If you're gonna live on the edge, you have to embrace it. Sometimes you fall off.
 
tangy said:
What is he doing out getting loaded at parties? Sorry OP, I know it's Christmas and all but if you're the breadwinner and you have dependents your only priority is to win the bread. Hard times are a man's chance to truly shine and sitting around getting shitfaced and playing the victim isn't shining.
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Getting loaded, yes, but going to a holiday party can lead to future business, some of my best gigs have been by word of mouth from networking socially...
 
Stress is created by fear and fear paralyzes. He doesn't seem to know the only way he is going to get out is by fearless change.
 
eliquid said:
Old me would have said this guy shouldnt be at the party, should man up, etc..

However, I have learned that people stress out over things that are just shit in life.

Stressing out over $12k? Thats bullshit. Donald Trump once said if your gonna go broke, dont go broke over a little amount of money, go broke big. millions big.

$12k is nothing to stress about. No I am not saying this because I think $12k can fall out of the air for some ballaz, I am saying $12k is nothing in the grand scheme of things, not because of the amount, but the fact is paper.

Behind on rent? So fucking what. Half of america is 1-2 months late on theirs too and everything is OK for the most part for lots of them. He is living on the edge and getting scared as fuck, which can actually be good for some people.

Failing his family of four? Why? How? They still in a house and eating right? Just because people get used to going on vacations, having iPads, having 3 new cars every year and now they maybe don't doesn't mean he failed them. If they are alive, healthy, safe, and protected he did all he needed as the man of the house.

Tell him to stop giving fuck all about useless shit.
Click to expand...

This. Step back for a second. Think about who we are and where we are. We're nothing. Cosmic dust.

We're floating in a sphere within absolute darkness and infinite space.

Life is absurd.

THE SAGAN SERIES (Part 10) - The Pale Blue Dot - YouTube

The only thing that matters are the people you love.
 
boatBurner said:
An explanation isn't important, and I'll agree that he could use some help. Moral of the story here is that this shit is hard. Which is fine. But sometimes it's really hard. And chances are you've been there, are there right now, or will be there sometime in the future. Failure doesn't discriminate. But if and when you experience it, be prepared.

I think stress and how stress is handled among entrepreneurs is a topic that should have more visibility. Being stressed out and facing failure as entrepreneurs are things we don't really want to talk about. Sometimes it's just because that shit bums people out. But other times it's because we have pride and egos and all this other shit we feel like we have to live up to.

I'm not saying that we should sing Kumbaya and cry in a circle. But I think entrepreneurs, especially men, could benefit from being more prepared for the kind of stress that comes from this lifestyle. I cried on this forum a lot when I was getting out of the military. I used to hit up some of the members here during the darker days until I eventually got slapped and told to fuck off. But I didn't know how to deal. And I think if there was more chatter and less judgement from peers about how to deal with the stress, it could really help people like myself or my buddy.

Food for thought.
Click to expand...

Good post and remarkably normal and level headed for Wickedfire.

I will say this, stress in business hits the hardest when you are lacking in other areas of life. If your sex life is suffering when single, if you don't have the support of your gf/wife/spouse, if your health is hit, if your other family is causing grief and concern, all those things will impact your business.

If you are healthy and have good relationships and get laid enough, then nothing can phase you. If you're hit by a run of bad health, old friends dissapearing, not getting laid enough, family strife, then business problems can seem unsourmontable.

Balance is important. I would guess your friend may have other problems than financial if he reacts that way.

In the end, no one can make you their slave over a paltry 12K, if you feel like that then the problem is in your head.
 
I have a copy of everything James Altucher has ever written. I find him extremely inspirational and his willingness to talk about the shit times just as much as his wins is great.

As for the 12k sell that debt and move on. Don't stress out about it. Also if he has any consumer debt on the table he needs to commit to clearing it in 2014. Consumer debt and depreciating assets are the enemy of wealth. Once he removes that cloud from over his head, money issues like late client payments wont stress him out as much.

Also take up a physical hobby. It helps take your mind off things.
 
It's all perspective:

Are you looking at what you haven't accomplished yet?

Or are you seeing what you've done?

We've all fallen guilty to lashing out, stressing out, freaking out, whatever you call it. But half the reason we flip our lid is because we're not focused enough. We want to get through something, but we don't want to take the hit along the way.

Shit is stressful, no lies. Anyone who isn't stressed is well managed and focused, or otherwise useless.

Turn stress into eustress.
 
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