and thats exactly how i do it...
1- ONE joint account that makes her happy enough
2- Keep your mouth shut about any other bank accounts, including business accounts
3- PO BOXes everywhere
if you dont talk about it it doesnt exist. Period.
Good/Bad in declaring income to Girlfriend
- Thread starter gittar1122
- Start date
and thats exactly how i do it...
1- ONE joint account that makes her happy enough
2- Keep your mouth shut about any other bank accounts, including business accounts
3- PO BOXes everywhere
if you dont talk about it it doesnt exist. Period.
What kind of women are in your life, people? This is crazy!
OP - Don't tell your girlfriend how much you make. You're not serious enough about her if you're asking that here.
As a woman, I understand the sentiments that are in this thread. I get what y'all are saying about protecting the little wife at home from too much knowledge of the big, bad world. In theory, it's a great sentiment.
My father has done this for my mother for more than 40 years of married life. He's spent the last ten years or so setting up trusts and laying out complex plans to avoid estate taxes and such. Unfortunately, my mother who was always protected from having to understand how the money worked hasn't a clue how to handle her husband's will or even what the basic terms of his estate mean. She's very smart, but she's been told her whole life not to worry about it, so she hasn't. If you think my father is going to leave it up to non-family members (lawyers and accountants) to tell my mother how much she has to live on for the next 30 years, you're so very wrong.
He's been driving her crazy with lists and instructions because he's convinced that she'll outlive him by at least 20 years, possibly even more. (Her mother is currently 91 and going strong.) She's doing her best to understand, but it's a steep learning curve for someone who's been pampered and patted on the head for decades.
I can't tell you how to run your marriage, and I'm guessing that the level of respect for your wife, her intelligence and her intentions toward you are wrapped up in your decisions about income disclosure. If you have an honest relationship, your wife shouldn't have any problems with structuring your business so that the company is protecting the bulk of the money. In fact, she should prefer it since that same company is protecting her income and her way of life from any major fuck-ups you make that lead to lawsuits.
At the very least doesn't your wife get some sort of clue when she signs the joint tax return? Or maybe you just don't trouble her with that sort of financial detail either since she'd be signing off on something that could be legally binding for her, but totally safe since you've already handled all those pesky details for her. (And before you say it, I realize the tax return looks nothing like real income thanks to separate business filings and write-offs/deductibles. However, there is a line or two in there that would give her a nice idea of what's coming through the door if she cared to look.)
Best of luck, gentlemen.
OP - Don't tell your girlfriend how much you make. You're not serious enough about her if you're asking that here.
As a woman, I understand the sentiments that are in this thread. I get what y'all are saying about protecting the little wife at home from too much knowledge of the big, bad world. In theory, it's a great sentiment.
My father has done this for my mother for more than 40 years of married life. He's spent the last ten years or so setting up trusts and laying out complex plans to avoid estate taxes and such. Unfortunately, my mother who was always protected from having to understand how the money worked hasn't a clue how to handle her husband's will or even what the basic terms of his estate mean. She's very smart, but she's been told her whole life not to worry about it, so she hasn't. If you think my father is going to leave it up to non-family members (lawyers and accountants) to tell my mother how much she has to live on for the next 30 years, you're so very wrong.
He's been driving her crazy with lists and instructions because he's convinced that she'll outlive him by at least 20 years, possibly even more. (Her mother is currently 91 and going strong.) She's doing her best to understand, but it's a steep learning curve for someone who's been pampered and patted on the head for decades.
I can't tell you how to run your marriage, and I'm guessing that the level of respect for your wife, her intelligence and her intentions toward you are wrapped up in your decisions about income disclosure. If you have an honest relationship, your wife shouldn't have any problems with structuring your business so that the company is protecting the bulk of the money. In fact, she should prefer it since that same company is protecting her income and her way of life from any major fuck-ups you make that lead to lawsuits.
At the very least doesn't your wife get some sort of clue when she signs the joint tax return? Or maybe you just don't trouble her with that sort of financial detail either since she'd be signing off on something that could be legally binding for her, but totally safe since you've already handled all those pesky details for her. (And before you say it, I realize the tax return looks nothing like real income thanks to separate business filings and write-offs/deductibles. However, there is a line or two in there that would give her a nice idea of what's coming through the door if she cared to look.)
Best of luck, gentlemen.
isnt there a saying that goes something like this:
the road to hell is paved with good intentions
that happy wife that loves you now will turn on a dime tomorrow and wont think twice before she leaves you out in the cold.
Fact: laws in this country favor women in a BIG way.....dont do your homework now, and youll be sorry later gents...
I've asked this question over and over. I get no good answer. I've said it before i'll say it again. You are what you eat.
LOL! If combine the age poll and this thread, I'm getting a much clearer answer to this...
turbo, more than once i have seen, good smart, honest, and sweet women turn into harpies....
never underestimate the power of golddigging friends talking to your wife/gf...
everybody has an evil side too
all i say is dont be stupid and better ready than sorry.
never underestimate the power of golddigging friends talking to your wife/gf...
everybody has an evil side too
all i say is dont be stupid and better ready than sorry.
haha, not sure how to interpret this ... we compromise some values to get laid and then are stuck with it?
This is a good topic since nearly all marriages that end in divorce, money comes into play at some point and is the most cited reason listed (some random fact).
I think the true love/total disclosure relationships are few and far between. Most of the marriages are transaction related, imo.
man, I'm getting cynical.
I'm in total agreement that the relationships are transaction related. I (shame-face) didn't mention love in my little rant either. Love is a journey and it changes dramatically over time. Love ten years in looks nothing like love on the day of an engagement.
My concern is that if you go into a marriage anticipating a 40 - 50 year partnership, your partner in business/marriage has every right to know about the finances of the partnership. Are they entitled to put hands all of the finances? Not necessarily. I have holdings from before marriage that my husband knows all about, but can't touch.
If you're worried about a harpy wife running off with your money, by all means legally protect it through corporations and other means to do exactly that. In a true partnership, both parties understand the division of roles, responsibilities and income - even if it's just the take-home, not the company, income. The implications on a tax-return and potential audits are enough to make any woman savvy up and check the numbers. Texas might say this is a community property state, but there are always (legal) ways around that sort of thing. The whole idea of estate planning is to beat the government, after all.
I, for obvious reasons, have a nice insight into the female mind. I know fully well that many women don't think rationally and I agree that there are a lot of money-hungry girls out there. (It's a bit embarrassing how many, to be honest.) If you want to marry one and treat her like a pet, that's absolutely fine and it's your business. Men have been doing it forever, and she's probably shallow enough to love it. However, please don't paint all of us with the same brush. A few of us have brains (and businesses) bigger than our boobs.
I'm calling bull-shit on this. Men have treated women like pets for eons, and unfortunately a lot of women are completely okay with it and are even groomed for it. The laws of today don't help, of course, but go back a century and you'll find the same actions by men (hiding money, deliberate vagueness, baubles and gifts instead of honesty) and absolutely no rights for women when it comes to married property.
Name one good thing that could come from telling your girlfriend your income.
Just one.
Next question.
Oh yeah, and InternetAuthor, men routinely get financially raped in divorce cases. The fact that men may or may not have been "treating women like pets" for decades has absolutely nothing to do with the divorce laws in the U.S.
Just one.
Next question.
Oh yeah, and InternetAuthor, men routinely get financially raped in divorce cases. The fact that men may or may not have been "treating women like pets" for decades has absolutely nothing to do with the divorce laws in the U.S.
No argument on how skewed the system is now in favor of women. I only suggested that hiding money and deliberately keeping women in the dark isn't a new phenomenon. I still hold out though that men can protect their assets without hiding them. In fact, hiding them might hurt you more if your (not you personally) wife hires a barracuda to seek out and destroy.
Yeah pretty much.
By surrounding yourself with these type of women you are saying:
"I'm not good enough to find someone I'm attract to AND is good person"
If this is not an issue and you are confident enough in yourself and you recognize that, then you just have a problem with patience.
Either way, don't blame these shady characters for your bad choices. The moment you decide to take control over your own life, the better your life will be.
(btw this is no high horse speaking, this is experience. You know women have these kinds of challenges too, even if they play out different in the social arena: we still make bad choices with you guys
)you ruined my day... it was going so well... then I spotted the wife looking through the window... If the bitch keeps this up I will have to let her in!!!
Yeah exactly there are women with minds and their performance level is higher than men in their field. Behind every successful person there is a women, so I agree with you she is a great partner if she is sincere with you and you are sincere with her
Now that I'm feeling a little sassy after a 1/4 cup of coffee, I would like to chime in on this.
I stand by my previous sentiments that full financial disclosure to your gf is a bad idea. A spouse is another story, and one I have no practical experience with, so I will not comment further.
However.
The ladies are right. You all do paint a rather grim picture by insisting everything money-related must be kept out of sight from your significant other. Could it be that internet nerds attract nothing but rotten women and gold-diggers? Well, maybe, sort of.
I think it has to do with most internet nerds being boring or not having much else to offer. There are lots of things beyond cash that can attract women and keep them interested.
Don't let your business define you. Go sailing or some shit. Learn to play an instrument. Learn Japanese. Be an Old Spice commercial.
<3
Yeah you are! MY wife has everything. From offline bank accounts to Online but I manage the money and "she's my wife". Back then when she was my girlfriend I never ever tell her how much my exact salary is. I never did because they will expect more and more to the point that you reached the limit and cannot provide anymore!