All right you country boys, if your live on the rural coast or just somewhere redneck, here's a tutorial for ya.
If you want to get laid around here, best thing to do is go "harbor hogging" and here's how you do it.
#1. Get on the scanner and make sure the cop has left the island for the night.
#2. Cut yourself a fathom piece of rope and go pick up a case of beer and a half gallon of Coffee Brandy.
#3 Drink a few beers on the way downtown, then right outside of downtown tie the half gallon to the rope so that it drags on the ground behind your pickup.
#4 Slowly drive through downtown past the groups of "hogs" until a small group starts chasing the half gallon.
The first one that catches the half gallon is usually the fittest, and is the one that take for the night. For each unsuccessful pass that you take through downtown, you need to do two things.
#1 Drive a little slower, cause the ladies aren't quite up to speed.
#2.Drink a beer. (the slower you trawl, the lesser quality "hog" that you get, drinking a beer on each pass helps counter this effect)
There are a few helpful hints that will help you if you are new:
#1 After your 10th or 11th pass (12 pack or more) slip on a condom less you forget to later.
#2. Never take your hog back to your trailer.
#3. If you kick her passed out ass out of your truck make sure it ain't raining (common courtesy)
#4 No matter how drunk you are, or how tempting it is, never let more than one harbor hog in your truck at once. (shocks and struts ain't cheap you know)
#5 Don't drag your half gallon too far behind your truck. Other "harbor hoggers" will try to run over it to attain dominance of the herd.
Well, there you have it. Good luck to you and I hope this information has helped.
-Transplant
If you want to get laid around here, best thing to do is go "harbor hogging" and here's how you do it.
#1. Get on the scanner and make sure the cop has left the island for the night.
#2. Cut yourself a fathom piece of rope and go pick up a case of beer and a half gallon of Coffee Brandy.
#3 Drink a few beers on the way downtown, then right outside of downtown tie the half gallon to the rope so that it drags on the ground behind your pickup.
#4 Slowly drive through downtown past the groups of "hogs" until a small group starts chasing the half gallon.
The first one that catches the half gallon is usually the fittest, and is the one that take for the night. For each unsuccessful pass that you take through downtown, you need to do two things.
#1 Drive a little slower, cause the ladies aren't quite up to speed.
#2.Drink a beer. (the slower you trawl, the lesser quality "hog" that you get, drinking a beer on each pass helps counter this effect)
There are a few helpful hints that will help you if you are new:
#1 After your 10th or 11th pass (12 pack or more) slip on a condom less you forget to later.
#2. Never take your hog back to your trailer.
#3. If you kick her passed out ass out of your truck make sure it ain't raining (common courtesy)
#4 No matter how drunk you are, or how tempting it is, never let more than one harbor hog in your truck at once. (shocks and struts ain't cheap you know)
#5 Don't drag your half gallon too far behind your truck. Other "harbor hoggers" will try to run over it to attain dominance of the herd.
Well, there you have it. Good luck to you and I hope this information has helped.
-Transplant
