Transportation sucks, the drivers are terrible, the land is flatter than kate hudson, it snows nearly six months a year, the women are fat, there is quality produce anywhere, the steakhouses are crap, the 'lake' is aweful, the cubs are pathetic, the alcohol is expensive downtown, O'hare is always delaying flights due to crappy weather, if you're in the burbs it can take over twice as long to get to work in the snow, the roads are straight lines, the mayor is a cumstain, cook county blows chunks, the clubs are tameeeee.
Nice place, very 420 friendly.
The steak is better in nearly any other country.
The architecture is a lame ripoff, the museums are crowded and so so, there are homeless fucktards begging on every single street corner, the trade shows are terrible (Ad Tech Chicago is god aweful and should be shut down especially,) the sport teams are talentless, the concerts are lame compared to europe, the suburbs are full of prude fat skanks, wisconsin has sub par skiing.
On the plus side... Portillos is the best tasting fast food in the country, Lou Malnatis is pretty legit, the streets are clean, graffiti is minimal, blackhawk farms raceway is awesome, autobahn and road america are close by, o'hare is a nice airport when it's not delaying flights, the people are friendly (but still closed minded,) perfect if you like bbw, the buildings are nice if you've never left the country, it's reasonably central for traveling, there is always a white christmas, housing is cheap, there are restaurants everywhere, tax outside of cook country isn't too bad, the cops don't chase anyone over 120mph.
It's a nice place to live for about three months a year, get a condo downtown and spend a few months there, then get as far as possible away for the rest of the year.
