Homemade Beef Jerky: 3 Questions For You

JakeStratham said:
I love spicy stuff, and used chipotle chile powder in my last batch.



For my next batch, I'm going to try a brine - kosher salt and water - with a ton of brown sugar and chipotle powder. It's cheaper, easier, and hot enough to scare off folks who'd otherwise raid my stash. :)
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For the HEAT, give this a try Organic Dried Smoked Ghost Chili - Powder: Buy Organic Dried Smoked Ghost Chili - Powder Online, Read Reviews at igourmet.com

The Product description is correct, a LITTLE will go a long way.

I myself have not tried Ghost peppers yet, but I do grow my own Chocolate Habaneros and then put batches of them on the grill on low heat to both smoke and dry them out.

Then I grind them up in a coffee grinder and put them in an empty glass jar with a lid that has both a full pour opening and a FINE hole shaker with lid.

(I used one of these empty jars)
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I use my ground habanero peppers almost every time I cook. And in the last year I have yet to even use 1/3 of the 8 oz jar in that picture. lol


Here's a link to a site that sells it and it looks to be about the same color and consistency of what I make here at home. Buy Habanero, Habanera, Chili , Powder, Chilie, Chile Pepper Ground - Silver Cloud Estates

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I'd say try the Habanero powder before the Ghost Pepper powder.

Lulz


I even use it to make my own HOT Pickles. I just DUMP about 2 tablespoons from the POUR side of the jar into the 32 oz. jar of Glaussen Pickles and shake it up and then about 4 days later the pickles are nice and hot.

Of course I have been doing this for over a year and just keep transferring the older well heated Brine over into the new pickle jars I get and keep adding pepper.

When I have extra brine, I just strain all the pepper and garlic pieces out then use the pure hot brine to heat up other stuff or to take a SMALL swing from time to time when I want to light my mouth up.



DISCLAIMER: I'll say it right here and NOW.......NEVER EVER EVER be wearing CONTACT LENSES when shaking that stuff out!!!! The MICROSCOPIC HABANERO DUST gets on them and then you're in a world of HURT!!

NEVER EVER EVER touch your DICK to piss after getting that habanero pepper dust any were even near your hands. Yes, just the act of shaking it out will get it on your hands.

Even washing your hands several times and drying them on Different towels will NOT do much to keep you hands from BURNING and SWELLING your dick up!!

And MAY THE GODS HAVE MERCY if do what "I" did when I first started growing and prepping my own Habaneros!!! (I now use surgical gloves, wear an actual respirator mask, and goggles when cutting and de-seeding batches of 100 peppers at a time.)


Cutting open a FRESH and JUICY/OILY pepper has a MUCH quicker and longer lasting devastating effect!!

I FOOLISHLY thought that Dawn dish soap and Comet combined would be enough to get my hands safe. WRONG!!

About 2 hours after prepping and cleaning up I went and took a piss and just held my dick like normal. About 3 minutes afterwards I'm at the computer and can't figure out how in the hell 100 FIRE ANTS got on my dick and started stinging it with a PURPOSEFUL VENGANCE!!!

I Immediately get into the shower and SLATHER ON the Neutragena Body wash I use since it has all those awesome natural oils in it that I "thought" would both attach to the heat & extract it and at the same time maybe leave a PROTECTIVE & SOOTHING barrier behind. NOPE to late!!! I just had to RIDE the ATTACK out. Had to piss like a MAN with my hands on my hips for the rest of the day as well.

Then the next day.........I put my contacts in!!!!! FUCK ME TO TEARS!!!! Literally!! That pepper juice was STILL on my hands enough to get into my lenses!!

Of course I didn't FEEL the heat until AFTER I had put the second one in!! Then it's that mental FREEZE of PANIC!!! "Do I take out the last one I just put in so that I have at least one eye not BURNED shut or do I take out the first contact before the burning actually BLINDS ME?!!"

I opted to SAVE the left/first eye before rescuing the right eye.

Had blurry and partial vision even with my glasses on for most of the day after that.

I think I also posted up somewhere here a while back about having my woman TASTE one of the peppers fresh from the tree, yes these little bushes grow into TREES that these peppers come from, then about 2 hours later she decides to go DOWN ON ME!!!

I'll admit that seeing her head go south did not produce my NORMAL first reaction. I actually kinda reflexively pulled my hips AWAY from her just a smidge for about an instant. She looked up inquisitively and I answered, "I have no clue what that was? But PLEASE PROCEED?!!" And she did.

About a minute later she was quite confused when for a second time in about as many minutes I pulled my hips from her, but this time I was also shoving her had BACK and away in the opposite direction of my hip's retreat!! She now had the look of what was almost ANGER!! So again, thanks to my most beloved habaneros my brain was in a decision FREEZE time crisis!!

If I don't go DO what I HAVE LEARNED to do (Yes, even to this very day I either get my eye or dick with the RATH of the peppers from time to time.) to get the fire ants off my dick in a HURRY I was going to be in real physical trouble, but if I didn't EXPLAIN to her RIGHT AWAY the REASON for my actions her mind would definitely have created something insurmountable by the time I got around to explaining and even though the reason would have been forgivable, it would NOT have been by the time I got back to her with it.

So I said real fast while motioning with my hand, "Quick!! Follow me and I'll explain!!" She did and I did and then she felt bad and then thought it was funny until I mentioned that even if I used a Condom or touched her with my hand down there that SHE too might get a visit from the FLESH EATING Fire Ants!!

So, of course she then says, "Well if you can't enter me or use your hands...then I guess you could just go down on ME tonight!!" With a big smile of anticipation.

I'd like you to take a minute here and feel my PAIN when I said, "Honey, just as "I" had forgotten you ate the half pepper that I stuck in your mouth, you too have forgotten that I also ate the other half of that pepper." ( I have not the words to describe her expression. lol)

So ended ANY plans for SEX that night. But....we did have a WONDERFUL tasting dinner when it was done!!!


ROFL NOT laughing me ass off!!!

Hurpity Dhurpity on me/us!!



All those reading this have now been sufficiently WARNED!!!


Lulz


P.S. Corn Starch is the secret to at least lessoning the pain of the burning dick. Not Baking Soda as one would imagine since it FEELS like Battery Acid Melting your dick, but simple Baking Soda is what does the most in the least amount of time to relieve the suffering.

NO!! I'll not tell the tale of that Journey of Experimentation and Discovery, nor WHY or HOW it could have happened with enough frequency to call for a Journey of Experimentation and Discovery.

I guess that THIS Old Dog is just SLOW to learn new tricks in the "prevention" of Self Torture/Mutilation department!!
 


boatBurner said:
I will buy some if you're selling.
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I don't know if it was posted here or if any of you guys saw the AppSumo jerky business they started, but it's a good read. The results of the 24-Hour Business Challenge There's good money in them there strips of dried meat.

A smoker has been on my list of things to buy for some time. I really ought to do that. Also been looking at dehydrators on Amazon for awhile. A deli meat slicer...
 
Cath Erder said:
I have a little over 4 pounds of roasted pork(char siu) in the fridge that we'll probably make into Bao aka Manapua tomorrow. Homemade everything is great.

Making food is never really about cost effectiveness, you can eat at fast food restaurants and spend slightly more than if you made it yourself. Factory food won't ever change though, so you limit your experiences and risk health issues.
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That's my goal. I want to control the ingredients and avoid a lot of the junk that goes into store-bought products.


Cath Erder said:
When you actually start tasting food, that's where you start to appreciate the recipes and the nuances of preparation that people take pride in.
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I used to be a sugar whore. I covered everything in crap to cater to my sweet tooth. That of course prevented me from really tasting stuff.

I've been off crap sugar (corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup, etc.) for a long time now, and use a lot of natural seasonings in my food.

It's delicious. :)


Cath Erder said:
I just noticed the tag fags, cute, but stupid.
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That could be me. I frontload my threads with 5 tags to minimize the opportunities for beta-male tag attacks and other childish shenanigans. Of course, since 8 tags are allowed, there's still plenty of room for foolishness.

The following tags are not mine:

- jerkying off
- looks like turd
- peasant sticks
 
I've always wanted to make some jerky but it's kind of a pain in the ass to make without a dehydrator and the meat is the expensive part. One of these days I'm going to go all in too. It's probably my favorite snack that I don't eat on a regular basis, but wish I did.
 
blank_czech said:
I've always wanted to make some jerky but it's kind of a pain in the ass to make without a dehydrator and the meat is the expensive part. One of these days I'm going to go all in too. It's probably my favorite snack that I don't eat on a regular basis, but wish I did.
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The oven method works perfectly and is very low-maintenance. Just check the meat at the 2-hour mark and 4-hour mark. Also, stick a wooden spoon in the door to prop it open a bit. That'll let the moisture escape.

You can also use a fan and air filters like Alton Brown (watch his video here). Doing it that way is supposed to give the meat a unique taste (maybe someone here can chime in on this). It's a bit too high-maintenance for me.

EDIT: London broil at $3/lb. is super cheap. Wait for a sale and pick up 20 lbs. at once. Toss it in the freezer, and you're good to go. It sounds like you can go through jerky pretty quickly, so the freezer won't have a chance to kill the meat.


For a really simple recipe, check out Steph from StupidEasyPaleo:


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQr4FNad-Pw]Make Your Own Paleo Beef Jerky - YouTube[/ame]
 
I even use it to make my own HOT Pickles. I just DUMP about 2 tablespoons from the POUR side of the jar into the 32 oz. jar of Glaussen Pickles and shake it up and then about 4 days later the pickles are nice and hot.
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I never thought about adding stuff to commercial pickles. Interesting idea. I grew pickling cucumbers and added two cloves of garlic and two peppers(like Habaneros) per jar. A bit much for most people, I'll go 1+1 this year.

Chinese Tiger Balm provides the same sort of experience you describe if it's applied to sensitive regions, the stuff doesn't seem to wash off quickly.
 
Eating Beef Jerky is perhaps the manliest thing in existence, second to making it yourself.

FUN FACTS!

  • Did you know: in several provinces in Canada, it's actually considered sexual harassment to eat beef jerky within 10 yards of a female?
  • Did you know: According to a recent study on linguistics, "Jerky" is the second most hated word among North American females? The participants of the study consisted of 2,500 women (ages 18-42). 90% of all women interviewed reported an unsettling, yet "stimulating" visceral reaction to the word "jerky."
When asked why they experienced such an involuntary primal reaction to the word, 85.5% of the subjects revealed a direct link between the words "jerky" and "moist." - ("moist" being the number #1 most hated word among women).

Researchers are still trying to discover the hidden relationship between the two phonetically (and syntactically) unrelated words.
​
 
Cath Erder said:
I never thought about adding stuff to commercial pickles. Interesting idea. I grew pickling cucumbers and added two cloves of garlic and two peppers(like Habaneros) per jar. A bit much for most people, I'll go 1+1 this year.
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I must have skipped over that line above, but yeah, I do the same thing, either add chopped peppers to a new jar of commercial dill pickles or olives or about 2 tablespoons of hot sauce to them. Let them sit for a few days and they are great!
 
You can try adobo style beef jerky

Marinade them in vinegar/soy sauce/garlic/onion/bay leaf/seven-up. Drain and keep the marinade. Reduce the marinade into a thick sauce and dip the jerky into the reduced sauce. Smoke and dry. Yummm.
 
Any ideas on how to make jerky that's really thin, brittle and dry/greasy? I'd like to try to make some like Robertson's down in Texas/Oklahoma area.
 
For anyone interested, a jerky update:

I just pulled a batch out of the oven using a new recipe. The following are my notes.

Ingredients:

1.9 lbs. of london broil cut in 1/6" slices.

1/2 cup of balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup of brown sugar
1/4 cup of BBQ sauce
1 cup of water
1/4 cup of sea salt
1 tsp of onion powder
1 tsp of garlic powder
1 tsp of chipotle chili pepper
1 tsp of black pepper
2 tsp of liquid smoke

- marinated overnight.
- preheat oven to 170°
- pat-dry the slices.
- let the meat cook for 2 hours with the door cracked open. Check after 2 hours for texture and consistency.
- let the meat cook for an additional 45 minutes.

Results:

- great taste. Savory.
- great texture and consistency. If you're doing 1/4" slices, allow more time to cook.
- asked my woman to taste. Her eyes lit up while chewing. (Dog looked depressed that I wasn't sharing.)

Regrets:

- Not hot enough. Since my woman wanted more beef jerky, I clearly need to use more chipotle chili pepper. Next time, I'll use 3 tsp.

@Fatbat: I'm hoping you'll cook up a batch soon. :)
 
Ran across these vids while doing some research and thought of this thread.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqOMgKZD8oQ"]Solar Dehydrator instructional under a min - YouTube[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVTcnCuX2Qc"]Three Solar Food Dehydrators - solar energy at work! - YouTube[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B2DGXPOk4Q"]How to Make a Solar Food Dehydrater From Beer Cans - YouTube[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSe-9Mt4itI"]Homemade Wooden Jerky Smoker - YouTube[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEki-wnrVCU"]How to Make Homemade Bacon - YouTube[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E97xZjDJ4lQ"]Dry Aged Beef - Do It Yourself! - YouTube[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ge2053SQ24"]60-Second Video Tips: How to Dry-Age Steak at Home - YouTube[/ame]



These last links/vids are for using Vacuum Bags to dry age.

How to Dry Age Steak Videos | How to Created Dry Aged Beef - UMAi Drybag Steak.com

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGggZIgCOLw"]Dry Aged Ribeye vs Wet Aged Ribeye Steak - YouTube[/ame]
 
Okay so I kept some notes on cost and all of that since it came up at some point in this thread. For this batch, I paid $12.67 for 4.4 lbs of London broil, and my understanding that that's basically just big chunks of flank steak or sirloin 90 percent of the time. A big bottle of Worcestershire sauce (18 oz or 20 oz) is about $1.50 or $2.00 depending on where you get it, and two 10 oz bottles of soy sauce will run you about $2.50. These are the main ingredients how I do my shit, so you've got about $4.00-$4.50 in cost there for a grand total of about $17 which will yield about 2.2 pounds of jerky, and that comes to about $7 or $8 a pound. I end up spending about 60-75 minutes total when it comes to prep work and the actual making of the jerky, and since I just get the ingredients when I'm at the store anyway, there's no added time to/from the store, etc.

What I do for my jerky is pretty basic, but it comes out tasting really good.

Quick List of Base Ingredients:
4-5 pounds of whatever meat
18-20 oz of Worcestershire sauce
18-20 oz of soy sauce
onion powder
ground pepper

The first thing I do is cut the meat up. I aim for a thickness of somewhere between 1/8th of an inch and 1/4th of an inch. It doesn't have to be perfect.

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As I'm cutting this meat up, I put all of the strips into a big bowl since that tends to work out better than trying to put it on a plate where it piles up and falls everywhere.

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It usually takes me about half an hour to cut up four or five pounds of meat for this.

Next, I split the meat up into ziploc bags with the sliding thing across the top. I'm putting between 2 and 2.5 pounds of meat in each bag. I typically do 4-5 pounds of meat, so I typically have two bags. You can use the regular ones if you want, but it's just what I always have around the house.

Here's what's going into each bag:

9-10 oz of Worcestershire sauce
9-10 oz of soy sauce
4 tsp of onion powder
4 tsp of ground pepper

I've found that this is the optimal order for putting the shit into the bags: meat first, then sauces, then powders. If the powders don't go in last, then they stick to the meat and don't distribute evenly through the sauce. Do this over the sink so that if you spill something, it doesn't make a fucking mess.

It's also very important to double-bag this shit. The ziploc bags often have small holes in them, and your tasty goodness is going to make a sticky mess all over your shit if you don't. It takes maybe another 3-4 minutes to do this step.

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Let that shit sit in the fridge for 12-24 hours. You might want to shake up the ingredients once or twice during that period. You'll notice that I have mine in a bowl. It just helps to keep it from making a mess if it leaks a little, and it's easier to handle all of it in a bowl than by the bags.

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About 18 hours later, our meat has turned color quite a bit, and that's from soaking up the tasty goodness. Pour you shit out into the sink using one of these strainer things, and wash that shit out of your sink immediately if you don't want it to be sticky as fuck.

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I use a cheap dehydrator that I got at a thrift store for like $20. You'll notice I have some foil laying under it to catch anything that drips (which it does a little bit). Depending on whether you use a dehydrator like this or if you use your oven, it will take different amounts of time for your jerky to be ready to eat. It takes mine about 24 hours, and I have to rotate the racks a time or two during that time.

Putting your meat on the racks takes another 15 minutes or so.

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Another 24 hours later, and it's time for the fun part. I bag this shit up in quart-sized ziploc bags, and I can generally fit somewhere in the ballpark of one pound of jerky in each one without ripping the seams. This might last me a week because I eat it all the time and my family and friends mooch off of it.
 
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This is so legit, I need to get into this.

I used to always pickup some beef jerky, smoked almonds, and good wine for watching Game of Thrones on Sundays. Sort of made me feel like I was there.

Edit: & Smoked Gouda
 
metalshark said:
This is so legit, I need to get into this.

I used to always pickup some beef jerky, smoked almonds, and good wine for watching Game of Thrones on Sundays. Sort of made me feel like I was there.

Edit: & Smoked Gouda
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