How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
- Thread starter ChickenFucker
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What did I get when JCash cut a baby with a razor?
An erection.
Why are there so many trees in harlem?
It's our method of transportation.
An erection.
Why are there so many trees in harlem?
It's our method of transportation.
Faceblogger walked up to a kid crying in the woods. the kid says that his parents just got killed in an auto accident. Faceblogger says, "this just isn't your day" as he unzips his pants.
Say what you will about him though, he always slows down in school zones.
Say what you will about him though, he always slows down in school zones.
I walked into his bedroom with a chicken under my arm. I said "this is the pig I've been fucking." His wife says "you idiot, that's not a pig, that's a chicken." he says "Shut up! I was talking to the bird."
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Aah fuck it, that made me feel mad guilty for saying it heh. I lost my uncle in 9/11, he took 300 infidels with him though.
Their ankles.
Aah fuck it, that made me feel mad guilty for saying it heh. I lost my uncle in 9/11, he took 300 infidels with him though.
Can you one-up me in "most offensive joke you know"? : AskReddit
you are a shit person and you should feel shit.
you are a shit person and you should feel shit.
What do you say when you see your oven floating through your house at night? Nothing. Chickenfucker's one big nigger.
So, I was eating out this girl, and I tasted horse semen.
Then, I looked at her and said, "Oh grandma, so that's how you died!"
What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps?
Phelps can finish a race.
Then, I looked at her and said, "Oh grandma, so that's how you died!"
What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps?
Phelps can finish a race.
A Jewish boy asks his father for $50 his father says "Forty dollars?!? What do you need thirty dollars for?!"
How was copper wire invented? Two Jews found the same penny.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Remembering you only put 11 in.
How was copper wire invented? Two Jews found the same penny.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Remembering you only put 11 in.
An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.
At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."
The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"
The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.
Then he quietly explained;
"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any fucking Frenchmen to show it to."
At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."
The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"
The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.
Then he quietly explained;
"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any fucking Frenchmen to show it to."
A guy sits down in a Cafe' and asks for the hot chili.
The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."
He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full.
He says, "Are you going to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
He takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes all of the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."
The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."
He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full.
He says, "Are you going to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
He takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes all of the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."
You are shit for linking to that. I always waste hours I don't have on the offensive joke Reddit threads
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet-first?
So you can look into it's eyes while you masturbate.
Why don't old people ever have sex?
Ever try pulling grilled cheese apart?
Why did the little boy fall down?
He got shot in the back.
What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
Boy scouts come back from the camp.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clowns costume.
Why did they stop the first annual leper hockey game?
there was a face off in the corner
What did the leper say to the hooker?
keep the tip
A guy was eating out a skank when he stopped and pulled a piece of scrambled egg out his mouth.
He said, "I think I'm going to puke!"
Skank says "Funny, "that's what the last guy said."
So you can look into it's eyes while you masturbate.
Why don't old people ever have sex?
Ever try pulling grilled cheese apart?
Why did the little boy fall down?
He got shot in the back.
What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
Boy scouts come back from the camp.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clowns costume.
Why did they stop the first annual leper hockey game?
there was a face off in the corner
What did the leper say to the hooker?
keep the tip
A guy was eating out a skank when he stopped and pulled a piece of scrambled egg out his mouth.
He said, "I think I'm going to puke!"
Skank says "Funny, "that's what the last guy said."