I want to kill my girlfriend's dog

My dog just steals my socks when he wants attention

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Firstly, I want to say that killing the dog off will bring bad karma back on you. So read below at your own risk.

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So, now that you've decided to kill the dog off, you need a way to do it that happens over time and can't be traced back to you. You need to also decide if you want the dog to go painfully (which will probably end in your place getting wrecked from it losing control of its body) or quietly.

If you want it painful, then give it Thyroid medication. Two pills a day over time will kill it off, leading to it dying a week or two later once its thyroid is destroyed. Do note, your GF will end up spending a ton on medical bills to try and help her dog.

If you want it quiet, then give it a few sleeping pills at a time every day.

If you put these medications in some food, then the dog will probably eat it and not be weird around you when your girlfriend is around.

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Now, I don't advocate killing animals, but that's how I'd do it.

This is so uncool, I really don't have much to say. Totally uncool dude....
 
If the dog is old and about to die stick it out. If not and you don't think you can stay with it another 10 years leave now.
 
smartass -

The irony is there because there are 2 posts on the forum about killing animals/murdering animals - one about having remorse for accidentally killing animals and one about wanting to do harm to an animal on purpose.

It's ironic that these posts showed up at the same time. An unexpected coincidence.

i·ron·ic

   /aɪˈrɒn
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ɪk/ Show Spelled[ahy-ron-ik] Show IPA
–adjective1.containing or exemplifying irony: an ironic novel; an ironic remark.

2.ironical.

3.coincidental; unexpected: It was ironic that I was seated next to my ex-husband at the dinner.
 
If the dog is old and about to die stick it out. If not and you don't think you can stay with it another 10 years leave now.
Yeah, tell her you can't take it and that you have to leave her. It's your ONLY chance at her getting rid of the dog, cuz she'll be crying and emotional and crap. You definitely can't give her an ultimatum, cuz that drops your value and she will automatically tell you to keep steppin while she snuggles up with fluffy that night for comfort and further bonding. When she has doubts later, she will get tons of backup support for the dumping from friends, and the primary fuel will be the fact that you had the gall to give an ultimatum. So either break up with her and hope she comes back to you without the dog, but prepare to have the relationship end if the dog THAT intolerable.
 
What everyone else has said.

Train it or get it trained. Also, get the dog walking outside at least twice a day - let it go for a run and tire itself out.

By that time it'll have worn itself out and used up all it's extra energy so it won't be harassing you and the furniture.

It'll be happier too which means you will be as well.


Yeah I noticed that he doesn't get out much so I took him for a run, literally, and when we got back he was pretty chilled out. Maybe that's the answer then ... when I go round to her place, take the dog for a run.
 
Yeah I noticed that he doesn't get out much so I took him for a run, literally, and when we got back he was pretty chilled out. Maybe that's the answer then ... when I go round to her place, take the dog for a run.

Dude, it's going to take more than that. That will help, but it's going to have to be trained where it is supposed to go and where it's not supposed to go. Play with it, but DON'T let it chew on or play with anything that isn't a dog toy, like socks or rolled up paper. And don't hit it or yell at it or your only going to prolong the time this takes.
 
I love my girlfriend but I hate her creepy little dog. He's neurotic but weirdly intelligent, pisses himself if he gets over-excited, whines like a baby for attention and chews my feet and shoes. He randomly does a 'poo poo' in the living room and I can't stand him. Frankly, death is too good for him. She lives on the top floor of an apartment block and I am quite close to giving him a free flying lesson. Unfortunately the GF loves him. Arrgghhh I don't know what to do...


You fucking idiot, the dog is more important than you. If you don't like the damn dog, get the fuck out. Peeps like you are the ones abusing pets. Coward.
 
Yeah I noticed that he doesn't get out much so I took him for a run, literally, and when we got back he was pretty chilled out. Maybe that's the answer then ... when I go round to her place, take the dog for a run.


Holy shit you gave the dog some exercise and it chilled the dog out? Holy fucking groundbreaking training methods. OR it shows that you haven't tried even the most basic methods to work with the dog.
 
Dogs are like kids. You have to create the expectations. If you don't let your dog know what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, he won't know the difference. Nothing could be more intuitive.

Taking care of a dog should be a prerequisite for caring for a kid. If you can't do the former, don't do the latter.

In fact, tell your girlfriend to start with a plant.
 
Educate yourself on trainng the dog or get a dog trainer to consult with you and the animal.

The latter can be sold easily to your gf.

::emp::

PS: Never understood people who have those small dogs. A dog begins at German shepherd size for me.
 
I hope you get into a head on collision and die. Really what kind of piece of shit even considers killing a dog? An animal can't consciously decide to do something wrong.

Hope you get fucked by a police baton.
 
How could you even think about killing something so smart and cute...and it's man's best friend bro

killing people is okay though, especially muslims... so maybe you should kill one of those instead?

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EDIT: I just kid obviously

good luck bros
Lol

Rats are pretty intelligent and awesome creatures. Get him checked by a vet particularly if this behaviour is new to him/ has come on recently, there could be a physical issue behind it. If the vet gives him a clean bill of health then it is either stress or a behavioural problem thats been trained into him. People who don't fully understand animal behaviour can inadvertently train negative behaviours into their animals, its pretty easy to do. A behaviourist can help train better behaviours or get to the root of the problem. It could be that he's stressed though, particularly if you are showing that you don't like him or feels attention is being taken away from him with you being around. I'm just speculating though, I don't know much about dogs in particular or how they work but these patterns above are the common steps with just about every species I've worked with.

Better idea: Shit in your girlfriend's shoes yourself.
Hallo DR. dolittle
You can always have a sit with the dog drink a cup of tea and speak your problems off. explain him..

:_)

I say kill the GF keep the dog !!
 
Your gf is the one responsible for his behavior unless there is something mentally wrong with the dog. From the sounds of it it's a little dog like a chihuahua (rat with a brain lol) or something along those lines. She's probably reinforcing all his bad behaviors because he's so cute to her. I did the same thing with a chihuahua I used to have. If you can't get her to understand it's an animal not a squeeze toy you either need to deal with it or find a new gf.