Jewish Joke Thread

[Mike]

Okay, for all you meshugeneh mother fuckers, I present....

The Jewish Joke Thread.

Why pick on the poor Jews? Lord knows they've had it tough. Well, simple, because the Jews I know on this forum seem to have the best sense of humor about their religion and are probably the least likely to try and kill me for this. Although, they may try to sue me. *rim shot*

So...without further adeiu...I'll start....

Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because they have to have everything 20% off!

 

[0352]

Why do Jews have such big noses?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because air is FREE!!

 

[Stanley]

What's the great Jewish dilemma?
.
.
.
.
Free pork.

 

[0352]

How was copper wire invented?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2 Jews fighting over a penny.

 

[DruSam]

Israeli air force pilots can turn on a dime.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Then they go back and pick it up.

 

[0352]

What do Jews do when friends leave their house?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
They look for loose change in the couch cushions.

 

[MyOwnDemon]

How do you know when a pedophile is Jewish?
.
.
.
.
.
.
He's the one hiding in the bushes, trying to SELL candy to kids.

 

[0352]

Why do Jews have so many kids?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cheap labor.

 

[bubbles]

What's the great Jewish dilemma?
.
.
.
.
Free pork.

Or pork on sale.

 

[0352]

Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.
"Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going?".
"Oy vey, Abraham, it's not going so good, we had a flood last week."
"So, Morrie," whispers Abraham "How do you start a flood?".

 

[abednego]

[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Have you seen the newest Jewish-American Princess horror movie ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's called "Debbie Does Dishes".[/FONT]

 

[emp]

An old Jew is lying in his deadbead, his last minutes are clearly upon him.
His sons are with him in this hour.
Wheezing, he asks "Abraham, are you there?"
"Yes, father, I am here. I am here."
Gasping, he utters "Yezekiel, are you here?"
"Yes, father. I am." Yezekiel answers, close to tears.
Once more, he draws a breath to ask "And Jonathan, are you?"
"Yes, dad. We are all here with you."
.
.
.
.
..
"And who the fuck is running the shop?"

 

[XSlash]

[FONT=arial,helvetica]STAR OF DAVID......

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Mexico City. One
is holding a cross and one a Star of David. Both are holding
hats to collect contributions. People walk by, lift their
noses at the man with the Star of David and drop money in
the hat held by the man with the cross.

Soon the hat of the man with the cross is filled and the hat
of the man with the Star of David is empty.

A priest watches & then approaches the men. He turns to the
man with the star of David and says: "Young man. Don't you
realize that this is a Catholic country? You'll never get
any contributions in this country holding a Star of David."

The man with the Star of David turns to the man with the
cross and says: "Moishe, can you imagine, this guy is
trying to tell us how to run our business!"[/FONT]