Kiss me - K-k-kiss me Wickefire. I haven't felt a human touch in forever

pewep

Banned
Nov 30, 2009
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Wickedfire, I love you. Your touch is magnetizing. Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison.

But seriously, I haven't felt the touch of another human's lips in so, so long. I'm so lonely. I crave companionship and I want love. I want to feel like somebody cares for me. I just want somebody to kiss me.
 


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That's because you don't have the wolf t-shirt:

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This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
 
given that this thread is gonna have 200+ posts, can't some mod fix pewep's fucking spelling in the thread title so it says "wickeDfire"? for fucks sake, at least do us that dignity.




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16 Views and 15 Replies :)

I think everyone wants to post in pewep's thread and still blame him :D
 
I love production. Don't get twisted, I absolutely did not want this shit. I love you all including dwight like my brothers and sisters. I only wish peace and love to you.