*** Postwhore Contest - Every 500th Post Wins ***

[dastuff]

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn¦t lifting himself up, he¦s pushing the Earth down.

 

[Gooner]

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

 

[juniodude]

..hm..yumm.!

 

[dastuff]

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

 

[Gooner]

Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty

 

[dastuff]

Chuck Norris doesn¦t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

 

[Gooner]

Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.

 

[dastuff]

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

 

[Gooner]

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

 

[dastuff]

Do you know what created the first black hole? Chuck Norris Vs. Chuck Norris!!!!!!!!!

 

[dastuff]

Bruce Lee once put Chuck Norris in a headlock. Two hours later he mysteriously died.

 

[Gooner]

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

 

[juniodude]

i gotta go do work.
cyall, have fun owning this thread

 

[Gooner]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

 

[dastuff]

Many people think that the dinosaurs were killed off by a giant meteor. If by "meteor" you mean "Chuck Norris," then yes, you are correct.

 

[Gooner]

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

 

[dastuff]

Nine out of ten scientists agree that Chuck Norris, not the "Big Bang", created the universe. The tenth scientist has never been found.

 

[Gooner]

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

 

[dastuff]

Many Cubans seeking a better life in America use massive logs of Chuck's shits to float across the Gulf.

 

[Gooner]

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.