QuarterLife Crisis



your place of residence seriously has me concerned for your well being. i'd hateee for you to miss out on what life has to offer.
 
chillinhh said:
get the fuck out of texas, before you regret it. k thx.
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Texas isn't so bad. A few of us around here are fans of the Lonestar State. :)

I remember when the original book, Quarterlife Crisis, came out. I even own a copy that I read through and enjoyed.

The premise, for those who are mocking the concept, is that kids of the 80s and beyond are raised to be anything they want to be. They are the best, brightest, smartest, greatest, blah, blah, blah. They work their collective asses off on padding college applications with a dozen high school activities, volunteer hours, SAT prep courses, etc. Then the kids get to college and drink and play and network and keep playing the resume padding game to get that degree which leads to the right job (thanks to the network they build.)

Then they get into the real world and the game changes. They have done everything they are supposed to do to be successful only to find that they don't like what success looks like according to the standards set by the upper middle class society they were raised in. The cube sucks, even with a nice starting salary well above the median national income.

What's funny though is how differently twenty-something kids respond to this. A decade ago when I was dealing with my own (female) version of the crisis, I walked out of business consulting and then the power trade industry at twenty-two. I walked away from a seriously well-paid career to find something I'd do for free. If the job was rewarding in its own right, it was going to be the right fit for me. Nine years later I'm still working with tough kids as a teacher, and I still love it, despite the current anti-teacher environment. (I'm in Texas - it's a right-to-work state, so don't start.)

It's not money, hos, beaches or slinging acai, but it's immensely rewarding for me personally. Of course, I can't let all of that great business education go to waste, so I run the writing business as well. Best of both worlds, and it supports my large house in the burbs, my massive gas bill for the Expedition and will pay for my kids to go and start their own upper middle class journey in another decade or so. :)

You'll get it figured out. It's as simple as deciding what's important to you and then pursuing what you want. Of course you can always change your mind later. :)
 
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the fact that you are asking yourself these questions at such a young age is def a step in the right direction. In all honesty, decide what is important in your life, and set goals for yourself.

If being in a serious relationship is important to you, then focus on that.

If moving california is important to you but you are low on cash... that is fine.. Make it a goal to get the cash to get there.

If building your assets and bankroll is very important then put all your effort towards your projects and get to the next level. Most people tend to agree that its best to be most aggressive when you are young (because you really dont have much to lose). This can also tie hand in hand with being in california if your goals are revolved around the tech industry because of the networking opportunities out here.

From the sounds of it, your fairly young... which is a good thing! No decision you make can be wrong as long as there is merit behind it. Revolve you're entire life around your goals and you will find a new meaning. Life without goals can get you lost pretty darn fast...
 
Went through my quarter life crisis at age 25 in Austin, and was in a very similar sport working in a cube. Ended with me moving to LA county for the sales job of that Austin-based company, which I quit nearly a year ago.

Honestly, I don't think location has ANYTHING to do with it... but it helped define the phases in my life.

More importantly... physical health, financial freedom, and more productive personal relationships were what got me to destroy the crisis.

Don't think that the beach is gonna solve your problems (although I have the ocean bug and am miserable when I'm out of the water too long)... but also don't let money stop you. You don't need to live 40 feet from the beach, and if you are smart about things, it's not THAT expensive out here.

Good luck bro. My parting piece of advice is to ask yourself this question: "20 years from now, what will I wish I had done?"
 
InternetAuthor,

thanks i like the way you write, you seem like a down to earth person; yet, why are you taking the time to reach out to some random person on the internet; you never know who you are talking to. :eek:


Berto,
"Don't think that the beach is gonna solve your problems"

You are right; for a while, i thought the ocean was the therapy i needed; i have been homeless lately - and actually slept in my car by the beach; definately alot of issues in my life lately;

i think one of the best things for mental health, though, is: eating healthy, keeping up with vitamins, omega 3's, sunshine, exercise, etc.. sometimes that just want solve the problem, though.

The problem is it seems psychologists, psychiatrists, family, don't care. it's basically go to college, or live on the street. why they have even accepted me is beyond me.

i suppose this is not the right place for this but at this point i have given up and i feel the only thing i know to do is express myself.
 
chillinhh said:
InternetAuthor,

thanks i like the way you write, you seem like a down to earth person; yet, why are you taking the time to reach out to some random person on the internet; you never know who you are talking to. :eek:
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Why not? I don't think I shared any secrets people on this forum don't know - a lot of these guys are clients I've had for years and we chat all the time. No worries there.

I have students who've brought weapons to class and one serving life for murder (she was tried as an adult a year after she left my class). Folks on here don't worry me much in the grand scheme of things. :D
 
to a couple of beers, and a good nights sleep.

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InternetAuthor said:
Why not? I don't think I shared any secrets people on this forum don't know - a lot of these guys are clients I've had for years and we chat all the time. No worries there.

I have students who've brought weapons to class and one serving life for murder (she was tried as an adult a year after she left my class). Folks on here don't worry me much in the grand scheme of things. :D
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my issue is how much do we care for people; an uncondtional love. i mean supposedly god will even turn his back on you - that is a scary thought.

you mention your students, i don't see the point you're making; is it simply that you have been around bad people, and thus "this community," doesn't concern you? what is your opinion of those prior students of yours? do you still see them as the people they were before they committed the crimes?
 
If you wanna move to California, go now. Don't wait to save money, you'll never arrive. There's plenty of work out here. Take a week vacation and look for jobs out here. Don't believe the BS about unemployment / economy. You're young, and people are ready to hire somebody who's driven. Good luck.
 
OrionSyndicate said:
If you wanna move to California, go now. Don't wait to save money, you'll never arrive. There's plenty of work out here. Take a week vacation and look for jobs out here. Don't believe the BS about unemployment / economy. You're young, and people are ready to hire somebody who's driven. Good luck.
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o word. don't tell me that cause i'll hop in the car right now.
 
chillinhh said:
my issue is how much do we care for people; an uncondtional love. i mean supposedly god will even turn his back on you - that is a scary thought.

you mention your students, i don't see the point you're making; is it simply that you have been around bad people, and thus "this community," doesn't concern you? what is your opinion of those prior students of yours? do you still see them as the people they were before they committed the crimes?
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I mention the students because I thought you were referring to safety - a couple of cyber stalkers aren't a huge concern, etc.

As far as caring about other people, why shouldn't I? It doesn't hurt me a bit to be nice to other people, and believe me, I'm not nice all the time - I have little patience for a lot of things adults do - see the "curb your brats thread." LOL Sharing some thoughts isn't exactly the same as inviting you home to live with me while you get life figured out, after all. :)

I never actually disliked or feared any of my students, and if anything I was sad for the one (that I know of) who wound up behind bars. Her mother had been feeding her drugs since who knows how long. After getting her kids high, the mom sat in the car and told her daughters to go steal money from a guy in his driveway. So the two of them ran up to him, stabbed him dozens of time, killed him and took less than $100 from his wallet. Scary shit what drugs will do to you, even scarier what parents will. (Mom and sister are serving life, too, btw) What wasted lives...
 
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