Split up with her - you'll be glad you did. Probably my only regret so far in life is spending too much of my youth in relationships, doing exactly what you're about to do if you don't make a decision soon 
Relationships, I fucking hate them..
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Childbirth is no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. No need for excessive cabbage dropping.
You've got time man....my philosophy is be happy with yourself first and then you can worry about relationships later if you are so inclined. Lot of people look for the other person to make them happy which is highly unhealthy, cuz when shit goes down and people break up everyone is fuckin crippled and shooting heroin into their eyeballs because they invested every waking moment/dollar/emotion/energy into the other person. The best relationships are a coexistence, and not a slopfuck of dependance.
But yeah, if you're having doubts...those will only perpetuate, better to get the 20s out of your system
You've got time man....my philosophy is be happy with yourself first and then you can worry about relationships later if you are so inclined. Lot of people look for the other person to make them happy which is highly unhealthy, cuz when shit goes down and people break up everyone is fuckin crippled and shooting heroin into their eyeballs because they invested every waking moment/dollar/emotion/energy into the other person. The best relationships are a coexistence, and not a slopfuck of dependance.
But yeah, if you're having doubts...those will only perpetuate, better to get the 20s out of your system
I totally I agree with this statement, I just had to go through this and she's only 24, now I'm trying to move on because I "can't commit"... who knew...
Life!!!!
I don't agree, I know a lot of committed girls that do all that and are pretty accomplished..... but, the biological drive to have kids/security/settle down doesn't go away. I think it's the commitment and kids that are the troubling areas for guys, at least in the 20s.
Lots of women do find a way to fuck, drink beer and watch a baseball game... They are known as whores. Maybe all of these aren't accomplished at the same time, but I imagine it works something like this:
1. Girl meets guy at bar.. they share many drinks together.
2. Guy and girl fuck
etc etc
Haha. Promiscuous behavior does not make the world go round, it only infects millions of people with STDs...
pretty much in the exact same situation as you.. who the fucks knows what to do. Instead I focus on making money and trying not to worry about that.
HarveyJ
He is - THE CACTUS!
bb_wolfe's point about it being your long term partner being a friend, rather than a love, holds water for me.
I've been in the same relationship since I was 18 because she & I were great friends before hand. We'd hang out, play video games, throw pop corn at people in the cinema... and after a while it ended up getting physical because we were horny teenagers.
Was it romantic? Well, her idea of romance includes death metal bands, seeing a giant squid in a block of ice, and going to see AvP: Requiem... so, probably not. But that's my point, and I think bb_wolfe's as well.
It works better if you do fun "buddy/mate" style activities and you enjoy them and their company, instead of freaking out about whether the mood lighting is bright enough to see your French waiter, and if the sand is clean enough on the moonlit beach that you can roll around on it.
The only people that are really pressuring you to get married and have a kid are gonna be your parents who are desperate for grandchildren before they die, because they have this nostalgic memory of raising you, and want you to suffer the same fresh hell.
If you're girl is really into you, she'll understand that you're clearly not ready to have a kid, and she won't use it as a blackmail bargaining tool for a continued relationship, or even marriage.
Likewise, in this day & age, unless she's religious, marriage is simply a property law issue and a $20k ceremony to say "Hey, I like you enough to live with you and not stab you with a pencil". If you're genuinely committed to the relationship (having doubts isn't the same as not being committed. Everyone has doubts, about everything, except egomaniacs & psychopaths) she'll recognise that as well, and a de-facto marriage with the occasional bit of bling thrown in as gifts on special occasions should be enough.
Also, and this is really a tertiary thing here, establish some sexual ground rules.
Let's face it, relationships are made and broken on sexual compatibility.
It's hard to work up to the conversation in the first place, but if you can get there, it'll be worth it.
Find out what she's cool with. Maybe she's into something that will provide you with the variety you need to keep things fresh. For all you know, she's actively bi-sexual and wants to occasionally fool around with other women... which is basically a buy one get one free scenario
I've been in the same relationship since I was 18 because she & I were great friends before hand. We'd hang out, play video games, throw pop corn at people in the cinema... and after a while it ended up getting physical because we were horny teenagers.
Was it romantic? Well, her idea of romance includes death metal bands, seeing a giant squid in a block of ice, and going to see AvP: Requiem... so, probably not. But that's my point, and I think bb_wolfe's as well.
It works better if you do fun "buddy/mate" style activities and you enjoy them and their company, instead of freaking out about whether the mood lighting is bright enough to see your French waiter, and if the sand is clean enough on the moonlit beach that you can roll around on it.
The only people that are really pressuring you to get married and have a kid are gonna be your parents who are desperate for grandchildren before they die, because they have this nostalgic memory of raising you, and want you to suffer the same fresh hell.
If you're girl is really into you, she'll understand that you're clearly not ready to have a kid, and she won't use it as a blackmail bargaining tool for a continued relationship, or even marriage.
Likewise, in this day & age, unless she's religious, marriage is simply a property law issue and a $20k ceremony to say "Hey, I like you enough to live with you and not stab you with a pencil". If you're genuinely committed to the relationship (having doubts isn't the same as not being committed. Everyone has doubts, about everything, except egomaniacs & psychopaths) she'll recognise that as well, and a de-facto marriage with the occasional bit of bling thrown in as gifts on special occasions should be enough.
Also, and this is really a tertiary thing here, establish some sexual ground rules.
Let's face it, relationships are made and broken on sexual compatibility.
It's hard to work up to the conversation in the first place, but if you can get there, it'll be worth it.
Find out what she's cool with. Maybe she's into something that will provide you with the variety you need to keep things fresh. For all you know, she's actively bi-sexual and wants to occasionally fool around with other women... which is basically a buy one get one free scenario
If you're girl is really into you, she'll understand that you're clearly not ready to have a kid, and she won't use it as a blackmail bargaining tool for a continued relationship, or even marriage.
Let's face it, relationships are made and broken on sexual compatibility.
It's hard to work up to the conversation in the first place, but if you can get there, it'll be worth it.
Find out what she's cool with. Maybe she's into something that will provide you with the variety you need to keep things fresh. For all you know, she's actively bi-sexual and wants to occasionally fool around with other women... which is basically a buy one get one free scenario
Amen. If it is for real, it shouldn't be forced. You don't need a rock on your finger to prove you love somebody until death do you part. All marriage really boils down to is an overhyped, romantically symbolic way to blackmail somebody into not leaving you. If it's the real deal, it doesn't matter if there's a piece of paper. If it matters that there is a piece of paper, then its not the real thing. The benefits you get from being married arent going to be equivalent to what you will lose if you get divorced, so pace yourself. Talk to your girl and explain that it's not that you don't love her, you just don't want to rush into something that is very costly and really unnecessary. reword it a bit but you get the idea...
I am a woman and I swoon over chick flicks and puppies but I am not in a rush to get married nor am I about to force somebody to tell me they want to spend their life with me. If it's worth my time, the words are enough and on their own schedule. A few years down the road maybe I'd get married if there wasn't the pressure.
Marriage has turned into a rite of passage, it lost its meaning a long time ago...just because you dont want to be hitched to the girl doesnt mean you dont love her. if she cant understand, then its better to find out now that she would have spent the rest of your lives manipulating and blackmailing you into things you dont want to do.
Feel free to sow your wild oats, but be careful. Being too popular with the ladies can also be a headache. Check out my friend's post about having too much game. It's pretty entertaining.
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