The Pathetic Truth

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Mike

Mike

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Jun 27, 2006
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On the firing line
So, I know that I've been lagging in getting things done lately. Especially with the autoblogs. And I've been just telling everyone that I'm really busy. Well, that's mostly true, but not the whole truth...

This is my confession.

I was full time in AM for about 9 months. Things were going reasonably well, but there were ups and downs. Nothing unusual there. Problem was, my wife thinks that anytime I'm on the computer I'm goofing off and ignoring her and the kids. That couldn't be further from the truth. Pretty much anytime I'm on the computer I'm working on something. But because I didn't get a pretty piece of paper with dollar signs on it, on a weekly basis, it wasn't a real "job". To keep the peace, I had to go back to a 9 - 5 job. Yeah, I know most of you are thinking "Man that sucks", and in some ways it does, but in many others it doesn't. I've found that I missed getting out of the house and having live people to talk to face to face. I also missed the bustle of corporate life. Weird, I know.

Anyhow, since I've been working at a 9 - 5 job, my online business has actually started doing better. I'm more focused and get more done with the little time I have online.

Here's where the problems come in...my wife still thinks that I'm just fucking around on the computer. She LOVES seeing my affiliate earnings and PayPal account, but hates it when I have to actually do the work that people paid for. Fucked up. We had another yelling match the other night about this. I was working on the autoblogs all day, and in the evening she hit her boiling point and started yelling about how she was upstairs busting her ass cleaning the house. I yelled back that I was busting my ass getting work done. She laughed and said something about "just playing on the computer", to which I replied that if I didn't do the work people paid for that was the same as stealing. That was the end of the argument and the end of my work for the day.

Anyhow....mostly I'm just venting. It's frustrating as hell to have to lie to people and tell them you're too busy, when in reality, it's because I have to sneak around and try to get work done when she's occupied with something else.

Now you know the truth. So, anyone waiting for me for anything, please know this: I am not blowing you off, I will get it done, but I have to do it at work or really late at night when my wife is already pissed off at me and not talking to me.

Pathetic, I know.
 


I think what your experiencing is a common example of people not understanding what you really do and how you make money. I have the exact same problem when I work from home and am continuously told I should stop spending time playing on the computer and spend time with the GF.

Many people do not understand the concept of online marketing or the I.T business and even after you explain to them that you can be successful without a huge staff and campus they don't get it.

My family have been in retail for a long time and my sisters BF (who is a complete prick) found a receipt stub for $15k that someone paid me a couple of weeks ago. Within 10 minutes I had him telling me it was a fake or I was into fraud and that only a real job like his (working in a food shop earning $400 a week) can make cash.

I genuinely believe that if i waked in and put 100k cash on the table I would still get told I should have a real job and that's just something we all need to live with.

My secret to keep the GF happy was to buy her a new laptop and give her some guidance on starting to earn some cash online. I found that even if she makes $1 its opening her eyes to what we do. If the kids play online build them an arcade site and tell them that they can get the profits as spending time and you will soon see them wanting to help you out.

With regards to auto blogs , get some automation software and it will save you a heap of time. If you don't already have it PM me and I will push you in the right direction.
 
I'm not sure how much you make, but I suppose it is rather substantial, so why don't you show her a calculation of how much you make per hour online and compare that to your 9-5 job. Maybe she'll understand then. But maybe it's that she feels neglected. Then this argument won't really work and you'd better sit down with her and let her talk this through while you mostly listen.

Oh, and FUCK YOU! Thanks to this I now feel like Dr. Phil. :D
 
Do something for her out of your earnings, maybe hire someone to clean your house. this way it benefits both of you. Tell her during these times i need to work to pay for the extras we have in life, and only work during those times, you need to balance life with your family as well.

Just my .02
 
I agree with mkrongel. I'm sure seeing some tangible relation between the time playing on the computer and the income and how it helps her would improve your mood.

"they" agree with your statement about going back to work and how it helps your time management. It's been documented before. Naw, I'm too lazy to look for it :).

I'm still here if you need anything.

I understand completely, but *my* wife plays MMORPG and I don't have to listen to her complain about me spending my time in front of a computer. :P
 
yap... you need to find a balance and work it out with her. Set a schedule when to work and when to spend time with her/family, also don't forget to be spontaneous at times. Now that you have 9-5 i suspect it will be even harder to find a balance, but hate to say this, you might have to pick one or the other, at least for a bit if this is eating her(no pun intended). At least thats how your wife is probably looking at it - that you love your computer more than her! Just find a good balance dude and talk it out with her.
 
Man I feel your pain. I have 4 kids and the wife. I've given up working 'hard' in the daytime and have turned into a freakin vampire. Between the little ones bugging me all day, and the wife going "HONEY"......

I've been tempted to go back to 'work' a number of times, and there are things I miss as well.

HOWEVER.... If I only worked a few hours per week (I work a lot more) at home, I would still make more than I make at 60 hours of 'real work'.

Till the kids are a bit bigger, or until I get a office away from the house to go work at I'll just make less money than I could. It's still more than I could make working for the 'man'.
 
mkrongel said:
Do something for her out of your earnings, maybe hire someone to clean your house. this way it benefits both of you. Tell her during these times i need to work to pay for the extras we have in life, and only work during those times, you need to balance life with your family as well.

Just my .02
Click to expand...


That is fantastic advice, Mike!

and SEOmike, juggling all of this with your family is hard ( I know) so talk to her about it. Let her know you know she works just as hard as you do and what you would like to do do is set some time aside each week for "date night". (if you don't do this already) It will give you both something to look forward too and that coupled with MIkes advice should take some of the tension off.
 
Hi Mike.

I am always amazed and worried when I hear that. (2 of my friends have the exact some trouble). There are several possibilities here:

1) She is not connecting the dots.
Basically, she does not see where the money is coming from. Maybe she does not see the room to grow and thinks your family has to starve when you are sitting in front of that machine playing all the time.

- Sit down with her and connect the dots. Show her what you are doing and how much money it makes. Explain your expansion plans.

2) You are not connecting the dots.
Basically, you suck at the internets selling stuff.

- She is rightly worried and needs to sit down with you and connect the dots before your family starves because you are looking at titty pics all day long.

3) There is a completely other reason.
This statement is often born out of frustration about other things. What might be a perk for you might frustrate her. You are around all the time, but shower only half of it. Everytime she walks in on you, there is titties on the screen, you spend way more time in front of that machine than working time..etc

- Formalize it
Rent a small "office" in the neighborhood, or dedicate your garage/attic to your AM work. Get up at 8 every morning, shower, dress nicely and "go to work". Return for 1 hour lunch, go back to work till 7pm. Leave work at your desk.

::emp::

@BigWill Shut up.
 
Thanks for the support everyone! It means a lot.

Somehow, I need to figure out how to keep up with Clients / AM / Work / Kids / Wife / Cleaning and still find sometime for myself.

I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one in this situation. As much as misery loves company, it's just refreshing to hear others with real world experience that they can share.
 
I definately think an office space helps Mike, theres alot to be said for having a small office space to leave your work - once am earning enough that is my goal (you dont get the distractions you would have had, yet you still dont have to work for the man)
 
Mike, you know I went through this exact same thing. I talked to you on the phone as I was doing it! :P

She doesn't understand how hard the work is, or time consuming. Either did my ex, and all she could say was "you play on the computer x hours a day instead of spending time with me" etc etc, blah blah blah.

They won't understand! Here's what you do, have her sit down with you and watch you do it for an hour. Then ask her to try. :P

What I did that actually did help was that I set a time every day that I was to do AM work, this was like.. 5 PM - 8 PM every weekday, and 1 - 9 PM on weekends. This way you only work outside of that time if it's an emergency, and you spend the rest of the time with her. Set yourself goals and peeks to hit, and if it works she may let you run over your time a few occasions because she'll start to understand.

All else fails, show her this. I worked xx hours this week, and this is what I got paid. Can we do without that?!?

Just my 2 cents, you got my number bud call if needed.
 
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