The Two Best Songs To Get Laid With!

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chucktown said:
Seriously, guys. For fuck's sake, you're going about it all wrong.

You want to fuck a NICE girl on the first date? Not some random skank you found at a kegger. A good girl. One that you would NEVER think to be able to scrogg without at LEAST five dates and a handshake session with her stupid parents.

Dress up, but dress down. A jacket with a crisp T-shirt underneath and some dark, clean jeans. You know. Banana Republic shit.

Dinner - Don't go all out. Take her to some off-the-wall kind of place that stands out as "different." I used to use this old Italian restaurant where the old husband and wife that owned it would bring your food out and bullshit with you for a while and drink wine with you. They knew me by name I was in there so much. Sweetest old people in the world. And they damn sure knew what I was up to because no matter how many bitches I'd bring in there night after night, they never said anything to fuck up my roll.

Make her laugh, but not in a goofy way. Don't be afraid to pick on yourself a little bit. Do that whole Hugh Grant clumsy-but-charming bullshit. Works like a charm.

Then, when she's back at your place, offer some wine. Ask her if she likes Sinatra. Frank-mother-fucking-Sinatra. What woman is going to say no? She may have never heard one fucking song by him, but you've been classy all night and she doesn't want to appear like a dumb fuck so of course she's going to say yes.

Chat for two songs. Have your playlist set up so the third song is an upbeat one that you can take her hand and dance with her to. The fourth a little slower. For the fifth, play "Fly me to the moon." Spin her gently a couple of times. Reach over and grab her wine out of her hands, look into her eyes...

In less than an hour, she'll be licking the dingleberries off your balls while you call her filthy names.

Thank me later. :)
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Ok I thought I had some good ideas but what you said here has to top the list. :)

I swear we should get together to create a guide and sell it to the poor souls who don't get laid for years at a time. I wonder what the conversions would be on that haha.
 


Someone forward this to that ugly Shoemoney bastard. I dont care how much money he makes I bet he doesnt get laid.
 
Snicker.

Small restaurants always work best.

Make you look like a real knowledgeable "around the world" type and is actually cheaper and often better food than the big fancy places.

::emp::
 
Jameel said:
Someone forward this to that ugly Shoemoney bastard. I dont care how much money he makes I bet he doesnt get laid.
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Have you seen some of the pictures he has on his site, the one where some dude is holding an Azoogle Check in his hands. I'm not sure if that is shoemoney but I mean come on do some better fucking work on it.

Actually fuck it I'll post the image I'm talking about here.


AzoogleAds_Check


What is sweet about this image, other then at first glance it could look real, problem number one after looking at the writing on the check, you can tell its from photoshop.

Second problem is there is no shadow being casted by the check and last but not least there is no reflection in the hummer with that check, which makes you almost think this guy was walking down the road on a nice day seen a hummer ran up, got his buddy to snap a picture and then brought it home to edit it in photoshop.

I'm into a lot of 3D graphics online so I tend to pick up on these details, but none the less its a funny image he has on his site.
 
Aequitas said:
Have you seen some of the pictures he has on his site, the one where some dude is holding an Azoogle Check in his hands. I'm not sure if that is shoemoney but I mean come on do some better fucking work on it.

Actually fuck it I'll post the image I'm talking about here.


AzoogleAds_Check


What is sweet about this image, other then at first glance it could look real, problem number one after looking at the writing on the check, you can tell its from photoshop.

Second problem is there is no shadow being casted by the check and last but not least there is no reflection in the hummer with that check, which makes you almost think this guy was walking down the road on a nice day seen a hummer ran up, got his buddy to snap a picture and then brought it home to edit it in photoshop.

I'm into a lot of 3D graphics online so I tend to pick up on these details, but none the less its a funny image he has on his site.
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Yeah you can totally tell that's fake. But if I'm not mistaken, someone may have just cooked it up in photoshop and sent it to him. He probably thought it was pretty cool so he put it on his site. Just like he did with people holding checks from Adsense for, like, a hundred bucks. The way they took the pictures were an obvious tongue-in-cheek copy of his "infamous" $100,000 + adsense check and so he stuck them up as well.
 
Funny thing, the first thing I noticed where the hands not holding the check.

Small details, yes, 3D work, lots of photoshop and First Person Shooters will do that to you.

:D:D:D

::emp::
 
LOL... I totally feel like I evesdropping on this conversation... I love it.

Laura

PS. While I don't condone trying to dupe a girl to sleep with you, I would urge you to not forget the alcohol. Not a lot, but enough that she has an 'out' for whatever happened. :)
 
chucktown said:
Hey, it's not duping. I'm totally sleep-with worthy. :D Sometimes you still have to lead a horse to water, even if it is already thirsty.

(Man, I'm TOTALLY going to be popular with any females here with that analogy....haha).

But yeah, a little wine goes a looooooong way.
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Hahaha! I haven't been called a horse very often. LOL It's a cool conversation because it's about psychology and why people do things and what triggers certains actions. Really interesting.


Laura :)
 
Laura said:
LOL... I totally feel like I evesdropping on this conversation... I love it.

Laura

PS. While I don't condone trying to dupe a girl to sleep with you, I would urge you to not forget the alcohol. Not a lot, but enough that she has an 'out' for whatever happened. :)
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Agreed, give her something to blame it on. She wants to bang you but doesnt want to be a slut, so if she says wow i was drunk and i would never do that, it makes the girl feel better.
 
I think Shoemoney said that check pic was fake and it was for a magazine ad.
 
chucktown said:
Seriously, guys. For fuck's sake, you're going about it all wrong.

You want to fuck a NICE girl on the first date? Not some random skank you found at a kegger. A good girl. One that you would NEVER think to be able to scrogg without at LEAST five dates and a handshake session with her stupid parents.

Dress up, but dress down. A jacket with a crisp T-shirt underneath and some dark, clean jeans. You know. Banana Republic shit.

Dinner - Don't go all out. Take her to some off-the-wall kind of place that stands out as "different." I used to use this old Italian restaurant where the old husband and wife that owned it would bring your food out and bullshit with you for a while and drink wine with you. They knew me by name I was in there so much. Sweetest old people in the world. And they damn sure knew what I was up to because no matter how many bitches I'd bring in there night after night, they never said anything to fuck up my roll.

Make her laugh, but not in a goofy way. Don't be afraid to pick on yourself a little bit. Do that whole Hugh Grant clumsy-but-charming bullshit. Works like a charm.

Then, when she's back at your place, offer some wine. Ask her if she likes Sinatra. Frank-mother-fucking-Sinatra. What woman is going to say no? She may have never heard one fucking song by him, but you've been classy all night and she doesn't want to appear like a dumb fuck so of course she's going to say yes.

Chat for two songs. Have your playlist set up so the third song is an upbeat one that you can take her hand and dance with her to. The fourth a little slower. For the fifth, play "Fly me to the moon." Spin her gently a couple of times. Reach over and grab her wine out of her hands, look into her eyes...

In less than an hour, she'll be licking the dingleberries off your balls while you call her filthy names.

Thank me later. :)
Click to expand...

That's how I go about things. However, its not about sex. Just treating a woman right does the trick for me. You never know, you could be the last guy that ever does.
 
That Shoemoney pic was for an Azoogle press release. Why all the hate? I remember reading it about a year or so ago.
 
Is this for real, a thread about women without Katoved participating? Did he get banned and I missed it?
 
chucktown said:
Seriously, guys. For fuck's sake, you're going about it all wrong.

You want to fuck a NICE girl on the first date? Not some random skank you found at a kegger. A good girl. One that you would NEVER think to be able to scrogg without at LEAST five dates and a handshake session with her stupid parents.

Dress up, but dress down. A jacket with a crisp T-shirt underneath and some dark, clean jeans. You know. Banana Republic shit.

Dinner - Don't go all out. Take her to some off-the-wall kind of place that stands out as "different." I used to use this old Italian restaurant where the old husband and wife that owned it would bring your food out and bullshit with you for a while and drink wine with you. They knew me by name I was in there so much. Sweetest old people in the world. And they damn sure knew what I was up to because no matter how many bitches I'd bring in there night after night, they never said anything to fuck up my roll.

Make her laugh, but not in a goofy way. Don't be afraid to pick on yourself a little bit. Do that whole Hugh Grant clumsy-but-charming bullshit. Works like a charm.

Then, when she's back at your place, offer some wine. Ask her if she likes Sinatra. Frank-mother-fucking-Sinatra. What woman is going to say no? She may have never heard one fucking song by him, but you've been classy all night and she doesn't want to appear like a dumb fuck so of course she's going to say yes.

Chat for two songs. Have your playlist set up so the third song is an upbeat one that you can take her hand and dance with her to. The fourth a little slower. For the fifth, play "Fly me to the moon." Spin her gently a couple of times. Reach over and grab her wine out of her hands, look into her eyes...

In less than an hour, she'll be licking the dingleberries off your balls while you call her filthy names.

Thank me later. :)
Click to expand...

Hahahaha...

That is the greatest thing I've ever read. :D
 
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