Thoughts on my LP and general comments on what I'm doing wrong?

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jep there´s too much white on the page and the photos are also looking somehow "okay i just pick some random pictures" which makes your layout look somehow boring like already said by others.
And there is also almost no "sentence-text", but only pros and conts. so i think you need to add more "sentence-text".
 
If that's the original LP you used to get that one sale, I don't know how you got it. When I go to your LP it just makes me not want to read a single word. Maybe its how everything is set, everything real crunched in the middle.

Also, you mentioned you got one sale and spent $45 on adwords? Average for a bizop is what, $35? You only lost $10. You aren't always going to profit within the first $35 of clicks from adwords. You could have gotten two more sales when spending up to $55 or even $90. Idk, thats just my 2 cents.
 
The sale I got was from a radically different landing page theme with a shit ton of words. It was basically an essay I wrote but people said there was too much text.. so I started looking at other bizops landing pages and one of them had a pros and cons list so I decided to implement that for now.

I know it sucks ass and I'm willing to put in the time and learn how to do it properly. SEO Mike said he will help me today so hopefully I get this patched up by the end of the week.

I appreciate all the input guys; all my PPC campaigns are on pause right now until I make a good LP. Thanks!
 
Is it illegal to use the image of twitter as a clickable image to my offer?

i just google imaged twitter and picked the first one that shows 'twitter' written in sky blue.

I'm assuming the legality issues would apply to my other two offers: ebay and google, and using their site logos as clickable image links.
 
you really need to work on that

the site is boring, needs more color
needs PICTURES, LOTS OF PICTURES (people like pictures)
Needs a better title, i mean its all formatted weird.

im surprised you made a sale.
 
nat3r said:
you really need to work on that

the site is boring, needs more color
needs PICTURES, LOTS OF PICTURES (people like pictures)
Needs a better title, i mean its all formatted weird.

im surprised you made a sale.
Click to expand...

The theme you see right now isn't the theme I used when I made a sale. I actually got a lot of criticism for that theme and people told me to make it simple - black and white. I personally like this theme I have right now, I just need to tweak it to get rid of the unnecessary links at the top and get some pictures in there.

But I ask again, is it legal to use the logos of twitter, google, and ebay for my clickable picture links?
 
Your page needs to be inviting and encourage the prospect to continue on to the offer. If you were to visit this site what would be your first instinct. Would you want to continue on and read or click <back. When I look at this site it reminds me of what I would type up as a report for school. The suggestions given are spot on. It needs some color, pictures, different font. Try splashing some color to border the body. Add a right column where you can add some links and pics.
Most everyone views a site the same way. Its been hard coded into us. Read the header - top left across to the right - then down the right side (where that right column would be). We like to see images. We want color. We dont want to read a Word doc on our screen. If we wanted to do that we would print it out. Hit me up on AIM and we can go over your LP and make some changes together.
 
Okay, so I've made some major revisions to my site. If you guys could check it out again, I'd be very grateful.

Thanks!
 
Now that looks 5x better. But there is still a few things you can adjust to make it 10x better. But you need to test things out to make it 10x better. This makes me want to read instead of the other one. I'm not an expert but maybe these things may help:

-link some words in the text while the user reads. For example, link the text "free trial" and other words.
-The guy that wants to end his life might not be a great picture. But hey, you never know so split test it.
-This is also to split test, but maybe take out the borders on the images.
 
nat3r said:
why does it say "Twitter" on top?

that doesnt tell me anything.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I was definitely planning on changing the title.

ItsYoBuddy said:
Now that looks 5x better. But there is still a few things you can adjust to make it 10x better. But you need to test things out to make it 10x better. This makes me want to read instead of the other one. I'm not an expert but maybe these things may help:

-link some words in the text while the user reads. For example, link the text "free trial" and other words.
-The guy that wants to end his life might not be a great picture. But hey, you never know so split test it.
-This is also to split test, but maybe take out the borders on the images.
Click to expand...

Thanks! For a noob like me, this was a huge overhaul because I had to learn how to code things and edit all the php files, etc. Wasn't easy, but I'm pretty satisfied with the end-product!

- I'll def. link the free trial words
- I was talking to my AM and he told me about how people who are in 'pain' (i.e. wanting to make more money due to a lack of it) are more likely to buy products.. we also talked about evoking emotions, but I guess I kind of took it a bit too far with the depressed dude lol. I'll def. split test it and make a duplicate page with a happier picture.
- What do you mean about the borders on the pics? On my browser, my pics don't have any borders on them. Does yours?

Thanks for the feedback. Good to know I'm getting close! :D
 
BTW, what file and code do I need to edit to make the title of my website centered?

Not the page's title, but the title at the way top.
 
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