What Do You Do When Your Kids Want To Kill You?
- Thread starter IceToEskimos
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Ok, let's break this down a bit further.
1.) You get a driver's license. Now you can drive a car. You get caught speeding and you have to pay a fine. Do it enough and your license is suspended. No more driving privileges. Get DRUNK then drive and KILL someone you get put into a cage for a good chunk of your life.
2.) You get a bunch of credit to get your house, car, and other items to live on your own. Then you don't pay those debts. You then LOSE those items. READ...they get TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU.
3.) Mouth off to Law Enforcement and you can get put into a cage.
4.) Mouth off to most any figure of Authority as most societies have set them up and you GET INTO SOME SORT OF TROUBLE that could have been avoided 9 times out of 10 so long as you UNDERSTOOD/were TAUGHT how to act/behave in those situations.
5.) Go start some crap with someone who is larger than you and more skilled at fighting and you will suffer for it. Even if they deserve to be fucked with.
6.) Do you let a Toddler walk up to and feed or try to pet an 8 foot Alligator because they want to? Or do you restrain them from that action?
All things are to be done with reason and logic in mind. You are training the child to LIVE as best as they can in whatever society they will be dwelling in.
It is better for them to learn that there are consequences to inappropriate actions while at home where they can be protected prior to being out on their own.
Do you let them make mistakes on their own? Of course you do.
When you discipline a child you are NOT telling them that they are nothing more than property like your damn furniture or appliances. That is utter bullshit.
There can be only be ONE CAPTAIN on any ship. He has a First Officer/Mate that gives an outside OPINION or assessment of things, but it is the Captain alone who has final say and decision. It is he alone who takes the brunt of a bad decision while knowing that HIS unwise action/decision will cause loss/pain of some sort for his crew/family.
This is why a good Captain does LISTEN to his crew and ALWAYS has them in mind when any decision is made.
But in no way can there be a fucking committee formed and a vote be taken on every decision that has to be made. For some things YES there would be. But for most things, NO!!
Here's another little tid bit from my past. In the late 1980's I was in outside sales so I had a flexible schedule. My sister in law called me and asked if I could take my Nephew to the Medieval Fair that was in town. I said sure and she said that I would have to pick him up at his private school.
I get there the next morning and find out that it is a school field trip. I get to ride the damn school bus. ( I thought it was just going to be myself and him for the day.) Then I'm told that I will have 5 other 11 year old students that I will be in charge of KEEPING THEIR MONEY and doling it out to them when they want to buy something. WTF?!!!
2 of the boys and one of the girls thought they could treat me like a damn babysitter or something. My nephew whispered to them, "You better not mess with him. He won't take it." Well, that just put the challenge into a much more desirable light for them. So as they wanted to play grab ass pushing each other around and trying to kick my feet together, they found my fingers stuck in their hair and I then closed my fingers and began to turn my hand to the side. All the while asking if they wanted to stop messing around.
One stubborn little guy needed the extra incentive of my foot on top of his and me increasing how much weight I put on it while twisting my fingers in his hair for him to submit.
It only took 30 minutes for them to get the message. For the next 6 hours they had a GREAT TIME and I helped them budget out their money got them good deals on the things they wanted to buy.
I did the face painting thing right along with them as well and they actually wanted a picture of me with them for their classroom wall.
At the end of the day while waiting to get back on the bus, some other kids from another class that knew the little TOUGH GUY came by and started to hassle him. He didn't respond to them except to say, "You better just keep going or He'll came over here." I heard this and promptly turned towards them just in time to see one of the passing boys kick the foot of my kid. I got right to them and told them that they're lucky I'm keeping my guy in check or they would be toast. I moved them along and they were none too happy about it.
My children laughed and told me that those kids were little tyrants.
On the bus ride back to the school my nephew's teacher leaned towards me and said, "I have NEVER seen those children behave so well. We're going to Sea World next month, we'd love to have you come along. We'll pay your way." The kids overheard it and were saying "Yeah!!Come with us!!" My nephew was pulling the "Aw com'on Uncle Dave. Pleeease!!"
Needless to say I did NOT go to Sea World with them the next month. I jumped my sister in law's case about the deception and her & my wife just laughed. They set me up on purpose.
I told my wife about the day and she was all, "You know we could bet SUED for you touching those kids!!" I told her that I would have been in even MORE trouble had one of them broken an ankle, foot, or toe. Not to mention had they fallen down from the grab assing and gotten a stick stuck through their eye or something.
So, call me an Ogre or whatever. After the first 30 minutes the kids knew their boundaries and they soon saw that I wanted them to have fun and I too was enjoying doing things with them. I took them to whatever they wanted to see or do. No restrictions.
They knew to not be trying to trip each other or me and that they had to stay within "MY" eyesight. They complied and had a good day. I did too.
But that was enough for me. At the time my first daughter was still in diapers.
1.) You get a driver's license. Now you can drive a car. You get caught speeding and you have to pay a fine. Do it enough and your license is suspended. No more driving privileges. Get DRUNK then drive and KILL someone you get put into a cage for a good chunk of your life.
2.) You get a bunch of credit to get your house, car, and other items to live on your own. Then you don't pay those debts. You then LOSE those items. READ...they get TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU.
3.) Mouth off to Law Enforcement and you can get put into a cage.
4.) Mouth off to most any figure of Authority as most societies have set them up and you GET INTO SOME SORT OF TROUBLE that could have been avoided 9 times out of 10 so long as you UNDERSTOOD/were TAUGHT how to act/behave in those situations.
5.) Go start some crap with someone who is larger than you and more skilled at fighting and you will suffer for it. Even if they deserve to be fucked with.
6.) Do you let a Toddler walk up to and feed or try to pet an 8 foot Alligator because they want to? Or do you restrain them from that action?
All things are to be done with reason and logic in mind. You are training the child to LIVE as best as they can in whatever society they will be dwelling in.
It is better for them to learn that there are consequences to inappropriate actions while at home where they can be protected prior to being out on their own.
Do you let them make mistakes on their own? Of course you do.
When you discipline a child you are NOT telling them that they are nothing more than property like your damn furniture or appliances. That is utter bullshit.
There can be only be ONE CAPTAIN on any ship. He has a First Officer/Mate that gives an outside OPINION or assessment of things, but it is the Captain alone who has final say and decision. It is he alone who takes the brunt of a bad decision while knowing that HIS unwise action/decision will cause loss/pain of some sort for his crew/family.
This is why a good Captain does LISTEN to his crew and ALWAYS has them in mind when any decision is made.
But in no way can there be a fucking committee formed and a vote be taken on every decision that has to be made. For some things YES there would be. But for most things, NO!!
Here's another little tid bit from my past. In the late 1980's I was in outside sales so I had a flexible schedule. My sister in law called me and asked if I could take my Nephew to the Medieval Fair that was in town. I said sure and she said that I would have to pick him up at his private school.
I get there the next morning and find out that it is a school field trip. I get to ride the damn school bus. ( I thought it was just going to be myself and him for the day.) Then I'm told that I will have 5 other 11 year old students that I will be in charge of KEEPING THEIR MONEY and doling it out to them when they want to buy something. WTF?!!!
2 of the boys and one of the girls thought they could treat me like a damn babysitter or something. My nephew whispered to them, "You better not mess with him. He won't take it." Well, that just put the challenge into a much more desirable light for them. So as they wanted to play grab ass pushing each other around and trying to kick my feet together, they found my fingers stuck in their hair and I then closed my fingers and began to turn my hand to the side. All the while asking if they wanted to stop messing around.
One stubborn little guy needed the extra incentive of my foot on top of his and me increasing how much weight I put on it while twisting my fingers in his hair for him to submit.
It only took 30 minutes for them to get the message. For the next 6 hours they had a GREAT TIME and I helped them budget out their money got them good deals on the things they wanted to buy.
I did the face painting thing right along with them as well and they actually wanted a picture of me with them for their classroom wall.
At the end of the day while waiting to get back on the bus, some other kids from another class that knew the little TOUGH GUY came by and started to hassle him. He didn't respond to them except to say, "You better just keep going or He'll came over here." I heard this and promptly turned towards them just in time to see one of the passing boys kick the foot of my kid. I got right to them and told them that they're lucky I'm keeping my guy in check or they would be toast. I moved them along and they were none too happy about it.
My children laughed and told me that those kids were little tyrants.
On the bus ride back to the school my nephew's teacher leaned towards me and said, "I have NEVER seen those children behave so well. We're going to Sea World next month, we'd love to have you come along. We'll pay your way." The kids overheard it and were saying "Yeah!!Come with us!!" My nephew was pulling the "Aw com'on Uncle Dave. Pleeease!!"
Needless to say I did NOT go to Sea World with them the next month. I jumped my sister in law's case about the deception and her & my wife just laughed. They set me up on purpose.
I told my wife about the day and she was all, "You know we could bet SUED for you touching those kids!!" I told her that I would have been in even MORE trouble had one of them broken an ankle, foot, or toe. Not to mention had they fallen down from the grab assing and gotten a stick stuck through their eye or something.
So, call me an Ogre or whatever. After the first 30 minutes the kids knew their boundaries and they soon saw that I wanted them to have fun and I too was enjoying doing things with them. I took them to whatever they wanted to see or do. No restrictions.
They knew to not be trying to trip each other or me and that they had to stay within "MY" eyesight. They complied and had a good day. I did too.
But that was enough for me. At the time my first daughter was still in diapers.
What really alarms me is the part where she said murder makes her horny. I mean, you got a lot of teenagers that try to appear tough/edgy that spout murder bullshit but if it's connected to her sexuality her motivations run way deeper - and because of that I know you did the right thing by bringing professionals in. This is simply not the kind of stuff you can talk out all by yourself with her.
I'm sure you'll get it handled, especially because she broke down and cried - seems like a good sign since it shows she's not completely emotionally disassociated from you all. GL
I'm sure you'll get it handled, especially because she broke down and cried - seems like a good sign since it shows she's not completely emotionally disassociated from you all. GL
Ice - I think you did the right thing. Nipping that fantasy in the bud is priority #1. I'm guessing now she might have to take comfort in being reminded that in a couple of years she will be a legal adult and can do her own thing under her own roof. Hopefully before that time comes she can be shown enough love and understanding to realize her home is more than a place where she has to sleep. But don't hold out for her coming around and realizing this soon - often this often happens after a rebellious teen lights out to make it on their own for a few years. Or months.
I know this isn't a place to joke, but if I was the daughter, and I was acting all cray, and my daddy dropped a few dozen drops of of acid (LSD) in my eyes and locked me in the closet... I'd come out an angel. Yessah. Yeshua.
Hope it all works out for you Ice..
I have kids, but both are younger.. although just getting to the age where they are asking for iPhones and shit.. I guess I'll have a whole bunch of new issues to deal with when they hit their teens too..
I have kids, but both are younger.. although just getting to the age where they are asking for iPhones and shit.. I guess I'll have a whole bunch of new issues to deal with when they hit their teens too..
About 10 years ago, I knew someone in his mid-teens who hated his family and wanted to just "get rid of them". He was not often spanked but was insulted and shouted at very often. We would talk all kinds of crazy shit about what he wanted to do / should do.
Back then I didn't have much clue if that was serious at all.. He didn't talk much to his family, especially his dad, but he did to friends. No personal mobile phone back then, but he did have good internet and we would occasionally go to his house to watch the "interesting stuff" on his computer.
Personally, I believe your kid just has that one crazy and aggressive phase in her life. It will pass out and she will be perfectly fine. You should sit together and talk.
She has to put up with the family for just a few more years, and then she'll be on her own. Guessing from your posts, she seems pretty ambitious and will do just fine. No need for crazy meds or police
My old friend who wanted to get rid of his family didn't do anything crazy imo. OK, just ran away from home some times to "discover" life, created a bit of mess but returned home after a few days. Today, from what I know, he is probably the most successful (and rich) among the people he grew up with
Back then I didn't have much clue if that was serious at all.. He didn't talk much to his family, especially his dad, but he did to friends. No personal mobile phone back then, but he did have good internet and we would occasionally go to his house to watch the "interesting stuff" on his computer.
Personally, I believe your kid just has that one crazy and aggressive phase in her life. It will pass out and she will be perfectly fine. You should sit together and talk.
She has to put up with the family for just a few more years, and then she'll be on her own. Guessing from your posts, she seems pretty ambitious and will do just fine. No need for crazy meds or police
My old friend who wanted to get rid of his family didn't do anything crazy imo. OK, just ran away from home some times to "discover" life, created a bit of mess but returned home after a few days. Today, from what I know, he is probably the most successful (and rich) among the people he grew up with
Speeding alone doesn't hurt anyone. If you are skilled enough to do so, you should be allowed to.
As you should if you hurt someone by being reckless.
Because you never owned those possessions in the first place. The banks did. Until you paid that debt off, you do not own it.
If someone gives you a gift, they have given you ownership of that property. If they took it away the next day, that would still be considered theft.
Just because it happens that way doesn't make it right. Why can you mouth off to a fast food employee and not get locked in a cage? What is so special about a guy in a uniform with a shiny badge and gun? What good is the first amendment if it only applies to complimenting law enforcement?
Spoken like a true stockholm syndrome case.
This is where a good sense of judgement comes in handy.
You restrain them, just like you would with everybody else regardless of their age.
Perfect. Because you are going to cover all the bases, and after you've coddled them all that time, they won't have a clue how to handle any problems you may have overlooked because you've always been there to catch them with your safety net.
You can also warn them of the consequences of certain actions. If they choose not to heed your advice, let them make the mistake. and learn from it.
If you wouldn't do the same thing to an adult, or somebody else's child, then you are treating them like property.
1950 called, they says you have something of theirs that they would like returned.
marry her off to some farmer peasant in the middle of nowhere in some faraway country without passport or nothing
Good luck, man... This is a tough spot to be in. I feel for ya and wish you the best!
This stuff is not to be taken lightly. Sometimes these things are cries for help. Take it from someone who lost a close family member to suicide. There were all sorts of signs after the fact, that I wish we would have noticed.
I am glad you're taking action!
Depends, women learn early in their lives how to manipulate others with crying.. even before they learn how to manipulate others with their body.
Sorry to disagree, but this is just not the case. Children crave structure, which includes rules and boundaries. They may not always like it in the short term, but in the long run it results in a more more adapted and stable individual.
Now that doesn't mean you take away their ability to make decisions or form opinions or think on their own. There is a big difference between a structured life and an oppressed life.
Giving in to the inclination that children should be treated as equals and allowing them to act accordingly is what results in shit-head kids.
The situation about your sister is extremely anecdotal. I'm guessing you've never raised any of your own. No offense, but its not the same.
I'm sorry to hear you're family is going through this Ice, hopefully your daughter gets all the help she needs and your family can through this and move on to better days. I'm still many years away from even wanting to consider having kids so I can't really offer any advice but I wish you and your family the best.
No kids, no opinion. I'm sure whatever you did in this situation was suitable, as you're the parent.
Hope it all turns out well for you, buddy! See you in just over a week.
Hope it all turns out well for you, buddy! See you in just over a week.
Is that what I fucking said? If you start at 15, probably not. But if you've raised a child with the structure in place, you are going to have a hell of an easier time when the get to the hellish teen years. Of course a 15 year old girl doesn't want a bunch of rules, but if you've raised them right you don't have to rule them like a tyrant.
If you let a kid do whatever the fuck they want, they are going to be a monster in the teen years.
<--- Father of a 16 year old daughter
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