Who would win in a fight... Jack Bauer or Chuck Norris?
- Thread starter CLKeenan
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Jack Bauer would just fake his own death and then come back and kick the shit out of Chuck Norris
Jack would own chuck - it wouldn't even be a contest! Chuck would be too busy trimming up his beard to see it coming!
Chuck Norris Facts:
Chuck Norris called "all-time crush" on Leif Garrett.
Chuck Norris beats off to "Pretty in Pink" three times a day with a wax figure of Andrew McCarthy lodged in his ass.
Rice cakes go straight to Chuck Norris' thighs.
Chuck Norris claims he is "Ms. New Booty."
Chuck Norris experiences heavy flow on account of his wide-set vagina.
Chuck Norris shaves emoticons into his pubic hair.
Chuck Norris' beard is actually a merkin. He can't function without a man's pubes on his face.
Chuck Norris always judges a book by its cover.
Chuck Norris always sleeps 8 hours a night, and can be caught cat-napping several times a day.
If you bother Chuck Norris during Grey's Anatomy he'll, like, totally be pissed at you for weeks.
Chuck Norris and the Total Gym sold out for the same reason: they're both CHEAP.
Chuck Norris loves to strike up meaningless conversations with single mothers long enough to finish his Virginia Slim cigarette, put it out in the child's eye, and run away.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa her smile. It happened when she saw Chuck naked.
It was reported that Chuck Norris had given millions of dollars to AIDS research. After a thorough investigation, the reports were found to be false because Chuck had actually said, "I've given millions AIDS."
Chuck Norris was fired and arrested from his job at a Dallas Texas school after a video showed him smelling the football players jock straps. He was taken into custody oddly enough by a real Texas Ranger named Walker.
Chuck Norris has fake tits.
Chuck Norris's shit is already packed.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk, and prance around like a homo.
Chuck Norris turned down Tom Hanks' role in Philadelphia because, he said, "It hits to close to homo... I mean home."
Chuck Norris is trying to bring back the "fanny pack."
Chuck Norris once ALMOST finished an entire double-mocha frappuccino latte at Starbucks, but stopped when he started to feel "woozy."
Chuck Norris loses bladder control while watching scenes from Death Wish III that feature the epitome of masculinity, Charles Bronson.
The line “Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street” originated when Chuck Norris, nervous and eager to have sex with puppets, lost his way to the Sesame Street auditions.
Chuck Norris once hid his cornflakes in a safe because he heard a serial killer was on the loose.
Chuck Norris once stuck his cock up a man's nose, then accidentally into his ear, then back into his nose.
Chuck Norris was once struck by a van, and miraculously revived at the hospital. His family sued the hospital.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills and merely blinked because the gay porn he was watching was too exciting to sleep through.
Chuck Norris is so gay that when he goes to the donkey show, he gets jealous of the woman.
Chuck Norris clutches the hell out of his Coach bag.
Hahahah
Chuck Norris called "all-time crush" on Leif Garrett.
Chuck Norris beats off to "Pretty in Pink" three times a day with a wax figure of Andrew McCarthy lodged in his ass.
Rice cakes go straight to Chuck Norris' thighs.
Chuck Norris claims he is "Ms. New Booty."
Chuck Norris experiences heavy flow on account of his wide-set vagina.
Chuck Norris shaves emoticons into his pubic hair.
Chuck Norris' beard is actually a merkin. He can't function without a man's pubes on his face.
Chuck Norris always judges a book by its cover.
Chuck Norris always sleeps 8 hours a night, and can be caught cat-napping several times a day.
If you bother Chuck Norris during Grey's Anatomy he'll, like, totally be pissed at you for weeks.
Chuck Norris and the Total Gym sold out for the same reason: they're both CHEAP.
Chuck Norris loves to strike up meaningless conversations with single mothers long enough to finish his Virginia Slim cigarette, put it out in the child's eye, and run away.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa her smile. It happened when she saw Chuck naked.
It was reported that Chuck Norris had given millions of dollars to AIDS research. After a thorough investigation, the reports were found to be false because Chuck had actually said, "I've given millions AIDS."
Chuck Norris was fired and arrested from his job at a Dallas Texas school after a video showed him smelling the football players jock straps. He was taken into custody oddly enough by a real Texas Ranger named Walker.
Chuck Norris has fake tits.
Chuck Norris's shit is already packed.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk, and prance around like a homo.
Chuck Norris turned down Tom Hanks' role in Philadelphia because, he said, "It hits to close to homo... I mean home."
Chuck Norris is trying to bring back the "fanny pack."
Chuck Norris once ALMOST finished an entire double-mocha frappuccino latte at Starbucks, but stopped when he started to feel "woozy."
Chuck Norris loses bladder control while watching scenes from Death Wish III that feature the epitome of masculinity, Charles Bronson.
The line “Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street” originated when Chuck Norris, nervous and eager to have sex with puppets, lost his way to the Sesame Street auditions.
Chuck Norris once hid his cornflakes in a safe because he heard a serial killer was on the loose.
Chuck Norris once stuck his cock up a man's nose, then accidentally into his ear, then back into his nose.
Chuck Norris was once struck by a van, and miraculously revived at the hospital. His family sued the hospital.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills and merely blinked because the gay porn he was watching was too exciting to sleep through.
Chuck Norris is so gay that when he goes to the donkey show, he gets jealous of the woman.
Chuck Norris clutches the hell out of his Coach bag.
Hahahah
Btw, I guarantee that if someone came up with an animation similar to JibbJabb featuring Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer it would be an instant hit 
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