This book was indeed great. Here are my book notes on it
Introduction
- The personal qualities that predict positive outcomes in life are two traits, intelligence and self-control
- We are a generation of "other-directed" people, guided by our neighbor opinions rather than strong inner moral convictions
- In the early 1900s there was "Believe it, achieve it", followed by 1960s "if it feels good, do it"
- The idea that we are not responsible for our own fate, our issues are based on social, economical factors
- Marshmallow experiment. 4 year old kids were brought in a room individually, show them a marshmallow and offer them a deal before leaving them alone in the room. The children could eat the marshmallow whenever they wanted to but if they waited until the experimenter returned they could get to eat two marshmallows. Some kids ate the marshmallow immediately, others try to resist but failed, some children succeeded waiting 15 minutes, they succeeded by distracting themselves. Year later the kids that resisted would end up having higher SAT scores, better body mass index and be liked by their peers more
- Multiple tests have been done comparing student grades to personality traits. Self-control is the only trait that predicted a college student's GPA better than chance
- People with good self control seem exceptionally good at forming and maintaining secure, satisfying attachments to other people, they were more stable emotionally and less prone to depression, anxiety, paranoia, OCD, eating disorders and drinking problems
- Study in New Zealand tracked 1,000 children from birth until the age of thirty two. Kids with more self control had higher paying jobs, better physical health, better teeth, and fewer STDs. They were also more likely to stay married. Among those with the lowest self control 40% of them had a criminal conviction
- The first step of self control is to set a goal
- Ultimately self-control lets you relax because it removes stress and enables you to conserve willpower for the important challenges
Is Willpower More than a Metaphor?
- Using your willpower takes a physical toll on your body. Your brain consumes 20-25% of your energy
- The Radish Experiment. Students that were fasting were placed in a room with cookies and radishes. Some could eat cookies, others radishes, others did not go to that room at all and they were left hungry. The radish group was tempted, some of them smelled the cookie or touched it, but no one ate one. Then the students where given geometry puzzles that were unsolvable. The chocolate chip cookie group worked on the puzzle for about 20 minutes before giving up, as did the hungry group. The radish eaters gave up in eight minutes. It appeared that using willpower had left them with less energy to tackle puzzles
- Movie experiment, three groups, one was instructed to suppress their emotions, the other to amplify their emotions, and the third to just watch the movie. Afterward they all took the stamina test by squeezing a hand exerciser. The control group squeezed for the same amount of time before and after the movie, the unemotional and amplified emotions group quit much sooner
- Ego depletion is the diminished capacity to regulate your thoughts, feelings and actions
- Based on experiments ego depletion causes a slowdown in the anterior cingulate cortex, the brain area that is crucial for self control
- Ego depletion creates more intensified feelings as well, both negative and positive
- Stress depleted your willpower, which diminishes your ability to control your emotions
- You have a finite amount of willpower that becomes depleted as you use it
- You use the same stock of willpower for all manner of tasks
- Willpower has four broad categories, control of thoughts, control of emotions, impulse control (resist temptations), performance control (right combination of speed and accuracy for the task at hand, managing time, persevering when you feel like quitting)
- Based on ego depletion studies focus on one project at a time. If not you may succeed for a while but it leaves you more depleted and more prone to serious mistakes later
Where Does the Power In Willpower Come From?
- No glucose, no willpower. The pattern shows up time and time again as researchers test more people in different situations
- Replenishing glucose helps you regain willpower
- With ego depletion your brain does not stop working, its just that the self control part works less and other parts like emotional responses work more
- Sugar can give a short boost of glucose but its not the solution. Foods with low glycemic index
- When you are sick save your glucose for your immune system
- When you are tired sleep. By resting we reduce the body's demands on glucose
A Brief History of the To Do List, From God to Drew Carey
- The first step in self control is to set a clear goal
- Self control is called self regulation by researchers, regulating means changing but only a particular kind of intentional, meaningful changing
- The problem is not lack of goals for most people but too many of them
- We can be even more unrealistic in setting longer term goals
- Keep any eye out for goals that are conflicting. You end up worrying a lot, you get less done, your health suffers, physically as well as mentally
- Various experiments suggest that addicts of any kind have a preference for short term payoffs
- Proximal vs distal goals (short vs long term). Children ages 7-10 who were having difficulty in math took a course featuring self directed learning with many arithmetic exercises. Four groups, set proximal goals (6 pages per session), distal goal complete 42 by the end of seven sessions (same total as group 1), third group had no goals, fourth group did not do the exercises. Proximal goal group outperformed everyone. Even though they spent less time per session, they got more done, thus progressing through the meterial faster. At the end when faced with hard problems, they persevered longer and were less likely to give up. It turned out that distal goals were no better than having no goals at all
- Dutch researchers did a study for distal goals. High school boys who cared about long term objecting tended to do better in school. Regardless of whether they reached their goals they moved forward by seeing the connection between their distant dreams and daily life
- Goal specificity. Three groups learning how to study, one group made daily plans, another monthly plans, third no plans. Monthly planners performed better and improved. A year later they continued to out-perform, daily planners had largely abandoned planning, daily or otherwise
- Zeigarnik effect: Uncompleted tasks and unmet goals tend to pop into one's mind. Once the task is completed the stream of reminders comes to stop
- With the Zeigarnik effect your unconscious mind is asking the conscious mind to make a plan
Decision Fatigue
- Making multiple decisions also drains your willpower. Experiment with two groups, one had to decide which gift they wanted at the end of the experiment, had to compare what they wanted with other items, the other group was aware of the gifts. Both groups had to hold their hand under cold water. Decision making group quit earlier
- Making decisions about things you like is less depleting, but you still run out of willpower
- Making decisions for others instead of yourself is easier
- Part of the resistance against making decisions comes from the fear of giving up options
- Compromising is one of the first thing that declines when willpower is depleted
Where Have All the Dollars Gone?
- Self awareness makes you comparing yourself to self created standards
- Self awareness evolved because it helps self regulation
- After setting a goal and monitoring your behavior, what should you focus on how far you have come or how much remains to be done? You will be happier looking at what you have accomplished, but to stoke motivation and ambition focus on the road ahead
- Comparing yourself with others gives you additional benefits
- Public information has more of an impact than private information about yourself
