Jury duty tomorrow... how to get out?

When they're watching reach into your pants, previously filled with peanut butter, grab a fistful and start to eat and smear it allover yourself.
 


If you tell them you're racist (insert many racial slurs at your discretion), you'll be off the hook.

SOURCE: I've used it in the past to get off jury duty.

edit: Damn, just saw a lot of others in this thread recommended the same thing haha. In any case, it works.
 
for all those that said show up drunk/intox.

You'd have to be one stupid mother fucker to do this.. showing up in court with sheriffs and law officers and being publicly intoxicated. There are laws about this that can get you arrested in most jurisdictions.

Some of you fuckers just don't think.
 
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eliquid said:
for all those that said show up drunk/intox.

You'd have to be one stupid mother fucker to do this.. showing up in court with sheriffs and law officers and being publicly intoxicated. There are laws about this that can get you arrested in most jurisdictions.

Some of you fuckers just don't think.
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I thought they were all trolling? Aren't they?
 
I've only had jury duty once. Was a trial that had been through a few appeals about a job related injury.

Didn't do anything dumb even though it cost me money to sit there. I was a professional poker player at the time.

Went in dreading it, but while sitting there I realized it was actually kind of interesting and changed my mind realizing that I wanted to be selected.

Was truthful on my paperwork and under occupation filled out "professional gambler". One of the lawyers asked a few questions and seemed interested.

Other lawyer (for the company) blew right by me.

I didn't get chosen and was disappoint.

Just go, be honest, and do your duty.
 
CLKeenan said:
Worst timing. Super busy week at work. Enlighten me. Or at least humor me.
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Worst timing? You should have dealt with it BEFORE the day prior.

I was called in for a Double Homicide - I immediately sent off a letter explaining I was a business owner and blah blah blah and it would detrimentally affect my business. BOOM. No Jury Trial for me.

(I was not going to sit around for months in court about some murders that happened a town over and was ALL over the news)
 
I'm excited about serving for jury duty. I haven't had a chance yet, but I would love to be the guy to get someone off the hook from a drug charge out of principle.

I don't agree with the state basically telling me they own me and can force me to show up to court to work for them, but the opportunity to fight the system using it against itself, more than makes up for it.
 
If you really wanted to get out of it you should have done so right when you got the notice in the mail. I've had a few jury duty summons show up in the past 10 years. I always fill in the financial hardship section on the back. I just say that I'm commissioned sales and if I'm not at work selling then I can't provide for my family. I put my work address and phone number on there (back when I worked for the man) and I never got any calls or paperwork saying that my request was denied.

I would like to serve on a jury at some point just to be a part of the system and see some of the stuff you don't hear about in court cases, but like many of you, I have to work and take care of my family.
 
Where I live, the courts are like the Red Cross. Give blood once, and they'll come back over and over to suck more from you. I've never given blood, and (coincidentally, I'm sure) I'm never asked.

On a completely unrelated note, I do not receive jury summons.
 
mattseh said:
For any crime? When the evidence strongly suggests the defendant is guilty?
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Jury nullification has nothing to do with guilt. Jury nullification says the defendant is not guilty because the law he is being prosecuted under isn't fair/you don't agree with. Basically you're telling the court you don't think he's guilty because whatever he did shouldn't be illegal.

I've had jury duty twice, I got out of both them each time by telling the judge that it was a waste of time and tax payer dollars. Of course this won't work on a homicide case, but both of mine were theft under $1000. I flat out told the judge that we're wasting tens of thousands of dollars and god knows how many man-hours prosecuting a guy who stole $550 worth of merchandise from Wal-Mart and that Wal-Mart can afford those losses but the tax payers can't.
 
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mattseh said:
For any crime? When the evidence strongly suggests the defendant is guilty?
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Yes. For instance, drug possession. Or some other victimless crime.

What if this is that persons 3rd charge? If convicted, they will be serving a life sentence. Only the "drugs are bad, throw the book at him! and then lets go to the bar later to celebrate with some tequila shots!" morons have no problem with something like that on their conscience.

The judge and prosecutor tell you to prosecute this individual because "law is the law". Well, in Nazi Germany a lot of people did awful things obeying "the law".

That didn't excuse them for what they did. During trials for war crimes, the defense of "I was just obeying orders", "I was just obeying the law", didn't get these people off the hook.

The moral of the story is, just because it's the law, doesn't automatically make it right. When the future looks back on us, we won't be excused either.
 
Regardless if you turn up intoxicated, you should stand up half way through and do this...

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