Staying faithful..

Haven't had time to read any of the posts in this thread but...

If you have to ask, you either haven't found the right girl or monogamy isn't for you. Both of which are completely legitimate reasons.
 


JMan1234 said:
I'll make this short for clarity: You are a scumbag.

No, I am not the "skinny/fat computer geek with no social skills" you refer to.
Yes, women approach me.
Yes, women want to have sex with me.
I'm talking about lots of women...hot women. I've been married
for 12-years, so maybe that's part of the appeal, they want
what they can't have.

Anyway, it's simple. I'm married, that means no girlfriends,
no mistresses, no one night stands, not even flirting with girls.

How do I do this: I recognize potential weakness, and do not put myself in certain situations.

Any man can be tempted, any man. Minimize the temptation and respond
correctly (get out of the situation fast) when it does happen.
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Monogamy isn't for everybody. In fact, it's more natural for a man to want to sleep around than to want to settle down, and society encourages the opposite (which is the real crux of the issue). Don't be so quick to judge, lest you be a scumbag yourself.
 
Might have been mentioned earlier but i doubt it - but I've been reading this book by dave ramsey ("Entrepreleadership" or something like that) -- never the less, he fires people immediately if he finds out that they have cheated on their wives -- because if you have the guts to cheat someone that you made an ever-lasting promise with - you probably can't be trusted in business.

I originally was dumbfounded - but after thinking hard about it - sort of agree with him. You make a commitment to someone and work through it. If you cant stay committed while dating, you need to stay single.

/disclaimer: 32, married, 1 child, one on the way. never cheated. not judging.
 
deStone said:
Might have been mentioned earlier but i doubt it - but I've been reading this book by dave ramsey ("Entrepreleadership" or something like that) -- never the less, he fires people immediately if he finds out that they have cheated on their wives -- because if you have the guts to cheat someone that you made an ever-lasting promise with - you probably can't be trusted in business.

I originally was dumbfounded - but after thinking hard about it - sort of agree with him. You make a commitment to someone and work through it. If you cant stay committed while dating, you need to stay single.

/disclaimer: 32, married, 1 child, one on the way. never cheated. not judging.
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I'm sorry. I think this is just pure stupidity and self righteousness.

I don't think that the fact that someone made the mistake of cheating on their wives (again, I'm not married and do think if you make that promise you need to stick to it.) that they are a shitty person in general and not to be trusted in business.

Not to stroke my own ego here, but I consider myself more morally sound and dependable than most people I know. Not all.. but most. Every ex girlfriend I have I still have great relationships with and still help a couple out financially from time to time. Who do they call when they need a helping hand? Me, bc they know I'm always there for them. They know I care. One ex is now a single mom by some douche bag that got her pregnant and left the fucking state (which I would never do, those are the ones who ARE morally inferior and not to be trusted). Who was there to help her buy diapers and all the other bullshit she needed? ME. Who is there to watch her little 3 year old daughter when she has to work and has nobody else? ME. I am there as a friend that she KNOWS she can depend on and I take pride in that. There is nothing in that for me... we don't sleep together anymore. Again, I'm not trying to brag.. I just find it fucking short sighted for so many people to hop on the morally superior band wagon just bc someone has cheated on his girlfriends in the past and has come to the point where he is questioning the accepted societal norm for a committed life long relationship that seems very unnatural.

Now, I know what will be said.. that I am buying forgiveness for things I did behind her/their back before... and maybe that's somewhat true. But I can tell you I still truly care for a few of them and do everything I can, when I can to make their lives better.. even if they have some new douche bag boyfriend. That is my point. I have amazing connections/friendships with at least 6-7 girls who are exes. They are some of my best friends and I really enjoy knowing them and having them in my life. It's not all about sex (partially is tho can't lie).
 
bodiddley said:
Monogamy isn't for everybody. In fact, it's more natural for a man to want to sleep around than to want to settle down, and society encourages the opposite (which is the real crux of the issue). Don't be so quick to judge, lest you be a scumbag yourself.
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Of course it's natural.

But as humans we also have
the ability to exercise self control.
We aren't wild animals (well, most of us aren't
anyway).
 
The entire "it's natural" thing doesn't work. It's equally natural to defecate anywhere you want and not wipe after. Who wants to start justifying it?

At the end of the day we have to realize that natural = good is not a rule and not necessarily true.

Just for fun, think of one natural thing you can do that actually sucks.
 
Ar Scion said:
The entire "it's natural" thing doesn't work. It's equally natural to defecate anywhere you want and not wipe after. Who wants to start justifying it?

At the end of the day we have to realize that natural = good is not a rule and not necessarily true.

Just for fun, think of one natural thing you can do that actually sucks.
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Was going to post the exact same thing.
Just because something is "natural"
doesn't mean we should go around doing it.
 
HKSEO Rotzee said:
You have this problem now, because you're younger and full of testosterone. You're going to fuck up though and play the game past your prime, you're going to get old. The problem is, your taste in women wont. So then you'll be that weird 40 or 50 year old guy, still hitting on the hot 23 year old women, who don't want anything to do with you.

And the older you get, the lest testosterone you produce and the less important sex is to you...you'll want a companion. But now, you've waited to long, all the young ones want nothing to do with you, and all the ones you're age that are good are taken, and anyone that is left is either ugly or broken. You'r going to fuck yourself bro, do like I did. I got a hot young 23 year old when I was 28 and she is going to stay a hot young girl for awhile =)
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This is hilarious.

Almost 50% of all marriages (whites) end in divorce with a median duration of about 10 yeats. So say you get married at 30 raise some kids until they're older and then there's 50% chance your wife dumps you at 40 at which point your a broke-ass nigga after paying 'HALF' plus child support plus alimony and you spent your last 10 years not in the game.

THAT is the pathetic 40 or 50 year old who goes on POF (shit dating site btw) or gets lap dances from strippers then goes home and masturbates into a sock.

How many young women can this broke middle aged guy get? Keep in mind that this is how almost 50% of all marriages end. Just because you get married in no way means you will have companionship later on in life except if your kids like you - I'll give you that.

Otherwise, the never married 40-50 man will likely have amassed considerable wealth and experience from being on his own for so long. He will probably be travelled and have had time to develop interesting hobbies, slept with many women and have a tight game. Unless he is a total loser of course and even then, when his need for companionship arises he can just find a single mom in some less wealthy country to marry.

Put frankly, marriage is such a bad deal in the west now, calculate your expected gain and you can see that the net expected outcome is to lose at least 25% of your wealth for an average of 8 years of marriage.

I'm not even against marriage and would like to have a family of my own someday, but you're really in denial if you think that getting married ensures you with companionship and a happy life ever after. All it does is increase your chance of successful offspring.

What is it with the kids argument anyways? If you want kids, donate sperm and receive up to 20 children. Much better reproduction strategy.
 
rusvik said:
This is hilarious.

Almost 50% of all marriages (whites) end in divorce with a median duration of about 10 yeats. So say you get married at 30 raise some kids until they're older and then there's 50% chance your wife dumps you at 40 at which point your a broke-ass nigga after paying 'HALF' plus child support plus alimony and you spent your last 10 years not in the game.

THAT is the pathetic 40 or 50 year old who goes on POF (shit dating site btw) or gets lap dances from strippers then goes home and masturbates into a sock.

How many young women can this broke middle aged guy get? Keep in mind that this is how almost 50% of all marriages end. Just because you get married in no way means you will have companionship later on in life except if your kids like you - I'll give you that.

Otherwise, the never married 40-50 man will likely have amassed considerable wealth and experience from being on his own for so long. He will probably be travelled and have had time to develop interesting hobbies, slept with many women and have a tight game. Unless he is a total loser of course and even then, when his need for companionship arises he can just find a single mom in some less wealthy country to marry.

Put frankly, marriage is such a bad deal in the west now, calculate your expected gain and you can see that the net expected outcome is to lose at least 25% of your wealth for an average of 8 years of marriage.

I'm not even against marriage and would like to have a family of my own someday, but you're really in denial if you think that getting married ensures you with companionship and a happy life ever after. All it does is increase your chance of successful offspring.

What is it with the kids argument anyways? If you want kids, donate sperm and receive up to 20 children. Much better reproduction strategy.
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Now THIS is hilarious.
 
I've known a few women that have told me (in the course of one of my torturous hypothetical conversations) that they could be happy with a boyfriend/husband that took care of them and was emotionally available even if he slept with other women, as long as they didn't have to hear about it/witness it.

But now that I think about it, they were probably just saying what they thought I wanted to hear so we could knock boots.
 
BenPOF said:
Serious question for OP:

Do you want kids?
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I don't really plan to have or not have kids. Like I said, I have a relationship with a little girl and I think she is freaking awesome. In reality though, I think kids are a gamble... I've seen the best parents raise ungrateful little shit heads, and I've seen crappy parents raise the sweetest gifts of nature you could ask for.

I think kids have this promise of being magical and at first, that may be true, but it could end up being a negative experience.

To answer your question: 75% certain that I do want a kid. Single, not plural.
 
kingofsp said:
I've known a few women that have told me (in the course of one of my torturous hypothetical conversations) that they could be happy with a boyfriend/husband that took care of them and was emotionally available even if he slept with other women, as long as they didn't have to hear about it/witness it.

But now that I think about it, they were probably just saying what they thought I wanted to hear so we could knock boots.
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Yeah I met a Korean girl once that told me the same thing.

She said most women in Korea who are married to businessmen know that they sometimes get escorts when on business trips, but she said they don't really mind for as long as they still love them and want to be with them. (for a woman, emotional connection > physical connection)

This is just one of the key differences between men and women. The worst thing for a woman is if her man would tell her that he loves somebody else. The worst thing for a man is if his woman says she fucked somebody else.
 
kingofsp said:
I don't either. So, you just go along with it and, you know, try to play it by ear. They probably don't know what they mean anyway.
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I've never been good at humoring fools. Gets me in a lot of trouble (and sometimes, not enough).
 
lose lose win said:
I don't really plan to have or not have kids. Like I said, I have a relationship with a little girl and I think she is freaking awesome. In reality though, I think kids are a gamble... I've seen the best parents raise ungrateful little shit heads, and I've seen crappy parents raise the sweetest gifts of nature you could ask for.

I think kids have this promise of being magical and at first, that may be true, but it could end up being a negative experience.

To answer your question: 75% certain that I do want a kid. Single, not plural.
Click to expand...

Are you 75% sure you're going to want to pay child support then?
 
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