Google "argumentation ethics" and then understand it (it's not simple).Are you talking about ethics or rationale? To deem an action as rational a goal must be established. There are an infinite number of goals for which violence would be a rational, perhaps not ethical, course of action.
First, it is not impossible that you and I can have a relationship without violence. In fact, I would guess you have hundreds of relationships that are non-violent in your life.Not at all. You said the only rational anarchy is one without violence, but how can an impossibility be rational?
Second, as soon as someone uses violence against another, that is a form of rule or control. It's no longer a consensual or voluntary relationship.
Any sense of anarchy, which doesn't abhor and prohibit the concept of control by force, isn't anarchy at all.
What you perceive to be a thread (your delusions and obsessions) are different than what is happening in reality.Little to none. However, there is always a potential for violence factored into my decision making. This is true for anyone. If there were no potential for violence against me I can assure you my daily activities would be very different. Both you and I are at the mercy of those who are capable of violent action against us whether that action is taken or not.
If you're not in a state of constant violence, then it is very hard to make the case that violence is omnipresent.
In other words, just because you're afraid someone is going to beat you, doesn't mean the world is perpetually violent. It just means you're afraid someone is going to beat you. Step outside your narrow perception of reality, and acknowledge that perception and reality are in fact, two very different things.
I have no doubt you think that violence is all around you. Most people in the west who have never seen violence believe this because that is what the propaganda promotes. Fearful people are easy to control. Monsters under every bed.