‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with



You are the average of the five people whose comments you spend the most time reading on WickedFire
 
This is the type of shit I hate. It's pseudo observation (cause/effect mixed up) and dressed up in smart sounding advice.

1st I think most of us don't have 5 close friends that are hardcore entrepreneurs. Most likely they're goofballs we hang out from highschool/university times.

The person that originated this advice mixed up what they're seeing with what got people to that point. No shit a person that's successful hangs out with successful people, it opens up new social circles and makes you interesting to people just because of what you achieved. But it doesn't mean hanging out with the best in the field got you there.

Next, business is not that different from sports. To be the best you don't need to have 5 best friends who are also some of the best. What you need to do though is train more and harder than your competition/peers, this then gets you to the point where you actually hang out with others in the same skill level. This actually applies to excellence in any field you can name.

I think it's easy to subscribe to magic pill thinking like this, hoping, yeah this is what's missing in my path to success - more successful people that would get me to where I want to be. I just need to make them my friends and by some magic process I'll get successful too.

But it doesn't work like that, no one can get you where you want to get. Look in the mirror - that's who gets you where you want to go. Not "5" successful friends.
 
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JoseArmando said:
This is the type of shit I hate. It's pseudo observation (cause/effect mixed up) and dressed up in smart sounding advice.

1st I think most of us don't have 5 close friends that are hardcore entrepreneurs. Most likely they're goofballs we hang out from highschool/university times.

The person that originated this advice mixed up what they're seeing with what got people to that point. No shit a person that's successful hangs out with successful people, it opens up new social circles and makes you interesting to people just because of what you achieved. But it doesn't mean hanging out with the best in the field got you there.

Next, business is not that different from sports. To be the best you don't need to have 5 best friends who are also some of the best. What you need to do though is train more and harder than your competition/peers, this then gets you to the point where you actually hang out with others in the same skill level. This actually applies to excellence in any field you can name.

I think it's easy to subscribe to magic pill thinking like this, hoping, yeah this is what's missing in my path to success - more successful people that would get me to where I want to be. I just need to make them my friends and by some magic process I'll get successful too.

But it doesn't work like that, no one can get you where you want to get. Look in the mirror - that's who gets you where you want to go. Not "5" successful friends.
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I get what your saying, but I think you are over analyzing it a bit and going overboard some. True story coming up in my next post.
 
JoseArmando said:
But it doesn't work like that, no one can get you where you want to get. Look in the mirror - that's who gets you where you want to go. Not "5" successful friends.
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The point of quotes like this are to help people realize that their decisions have a dramatic impact on the course of their own lives. Choosing to hang out with people who are deadbeats, people who are happy watching their 4 hours of TV after spending eight hours at their 9 to 5, or people who discourage entrepreneurial goals / risks ultimately hurts your chances of breaking out of that cycle.

The idea is that by surrounding yourself with people who are successful, they're encourage you to take those risks, to jump off that metaphorical cliff, and to pursue your dreams.

Just because you hang out with ballers doesn't make you a baller, but if you're willing to put in the work and take some of their advice (assuming they actually earned their money), you're way better off being around successful folks that encourage your dreams rather than unsuccessful people who are happy with their station in life.

Note that this applies to ANY definition of success, not just being monetarily rich.
 
Maybe I read it wrong, but I don't think the story meant that the formula for sure is " that if you hang out with successful people, you will be successful". If it was, then I goofed up then.

You can be successful without friends that do well. I was and still am very anti-social and I did well for myself in a odd way actually. However, I have "groups" of people I hang with at different times and stages in my life ( even several today ) and I find myself "being" like these people while around them.

For example, I have 1 group of people that are very very young compared to my age and I find myself at times acting on their level for no real reason other then I am just around them at that time. When I come home and are around my brother in laws and their families though, I am more like them though.

Same for work and other friends. Not sure what is the underlining cause of this change though, I don't do it on purpose while around them, it just happens.

I can tell you this though.. when I am associating with my online successful friends IRL multiple times a week, I feel more motivated to do things and get things done. i also ask more questions pertaining to success like "where can I get this or who do you use for that" type of things and pass info around I wouldn't get elsewhere. I just feel better and get shit done around them.

I don't thinking hanging around them will make me be successful, it just changes your mindset and thoughts.
 
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eliquid said:
Maybe I read it wrong, but I don't think the story meant that the formula for sure is " that if you hang out with successful people, you will be successful". If it was, then I goofed up then.

You can be successful without friends that do well. I was and still am very anti-social and I did well for myself in a odd way actually. However, I have "groups" of people I hang with at different times and stages in my life ( even several today ) and I find myself "being" like these people while around them.

For example, I have 1 group of people that are very very young compared to my age and I find myself at times acting on their level for no real reason other then I am just around them at that time. When I come home and are around my brother in laws and their families though, I am more like them though.

Same for work and other friends. Not sure what is the underlining cause of this change though, I don't do it on purpose while around them, it just happens.

I can tell you this though.. when I am associating with my online successful friends IRL multiple times a week, I feel more motivated to do things and get things done. i also ask more questions pertaining to success like "where can I get this or who do you use for that" type of things and pass info around I wouldn't get elsewhere. I just feel better and get shit done around them.

I don't thinking hanging around them will make me be successful, it just changes your mindset and thoughts.
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I agree, and believe it's one of the most healthy ways to live, and interact with people. Varying groups based on interest. Age is just a number, and while I do have younger groups I also have many more older ones, and find that it's our interest that tie us together not our age.

Your social role is most often dictated by the social norm in your "circle" so acting differently is to be expected.

Most people who try to have 1 role for their entire life are labeled as "weird". Not anti-social most of the time but just that they have a hard time going from role to role, and understanding it from another persons prospective.
 
I respect Leo as a founder and a lot of his advice, but I agree with the top commenter, in so far as it's a very bad way to pick friendships.

In fact, I'll just quote him here to save me the time basically saying the same.

This is such a shallow view of life and a depressing take on friendship. Your focus seems terribly narrow minded to me and I think you're missing much of the complexity of real relationships. You seem to have a rather cold, clinical take on how to 'get to the next level' and on how to conduct friendships. You sound like you select your friends almost as if selecting a new pair of shoes.

So what happens when an old friend comes on hard times? Perhaps they get depressed and are generally not fun to be around. They lose their job, and all those inspirational, attractive qualities they once had seem to have faded. Do you just drop them, because their behaviour no longer figures in your plan to rise to the top? I have to say, someone with that attitude is not the kind of person I'd want as a friend. Further, I cant imagine how incredibly DULL it would be, to spend even a few minutes with a group of 'friends' who all had the same narrow 'get to the next level' world view. The real beauty of friendships, is that they are at times wonderful, complex, funny, challenging, upsetting and many more things. They are both fantastic and difficult. And sticking with someone through all of that is what makes YOU a good friend.

Most people are, at one time or another, a little negative or depressing, unambitious, difficult or boring. But this is what's called being human. I wouldn't have my friends and family any other way, than for them to genuinely express the range of emotions that they feel as human beings, as opposed to robotic, relentlessly positive, competitive and focussed.

Your willingness to 'lose a few friends' because you're not strong enough to just be who you want to be without surrounding yourself with certain types of people, strongly suggests you wouldn't make such a great friend yourself.
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My friends do all sorts of stuff, they're all at university and go to the odd lecture/doss around and whatever else. None of them know what they're doing with their lives really as of yet.

I'm working for myself and doing well, whilst they're not all lined up with where I want to go in life, they're generally supportive (as friends are) and we enjoy each other's company. If your only goal in life is career advances / financial gain, you're doing it wrong. They also give me lots of insights that I'd never have myself if I only socialised with other entrepreneurs.

Relationships and experiences bring value to life, the money/financial success just gives you the freedom to maximise the potential of those relationships.

I do agree that you shouldn't put up with people who are constantly putting you down / holding you back, but they're not real friends in the first place.

I feel sorry for anyone who thinks that friendship is some mathematical process that they can manipulate to become more successful.
 
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