What would you do if some drunk crashed through your fence?

A

Aequitas

New member
Feb 19, 2007
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This is fucking halarious, I was downtown with a bunch of friends when we heard over the cop scanner there was a drunk driver who went through a ditch and through some persons fence and when they gave the address I was like fuck thats right by my house lets go check this shit out.

Drove down the street by my house didn't see anything, pulled into my driveway and noticed my fence was fucking run down and tracks through the ditches and onto my lawn I was like holy fuck they hit my shit those bastards.

Anyway I was standing there with my friends found a wallet near by which was obviously dropped by the drunks who fucked up my fence so I jacked the $120 bucks in cash that was in it and tossed it in the bush near my fence.

The cops came by asking if I seen anything and they haven't even caught the guy who did this, I was going to mention the wallet but didn't think of it at the time.

Anyway I was thinking fuck there drunk asses probably wont know they lost the wallet until morning, should I go out there see if there is a credit card in it and then fucking use my paypal account to rack up his bill and take his money for fucking up my yard and fence.

Then I got to thinking well that would be credit card fraud and if they really looked into it they could see that the money wen't into a paypal account and then that account was owned by me so pretty obvious to tell I was the one who took the shit.

But then on the other hand if I gave the card info to a friend out of country and they put it in there paypal account and then sent me money from there account, then if they ever looked into the friend could always just say he doesn't know if his customers are paying with a card that isn't there own and everything would be on the up and up.

Anyway I'm going crazy trying to think of something to do with this since the guy got away and my shit is still fucked up.

So my question is what would you do?
 


I'd probably not set myself up for jail time via fraud and get over it, but that's just me. Find out who he is and beat him with part of your broken fence?

EDIT: If you do end up finding out who he is, you should go for some kind of offline dickroll.
 
Go to a hardware store and buy all the materials that were fucked up by them using their credit card.
 
TylerL said:
I'd probably not set myself up for jail time via fraud and get over it, but that's just me. Find out who he is and beat him with part of your broken fence?.
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Anyway I said fuck it and wen't out and looked in the wallet just now and there are no credit cards, I dont think I would of pulled off the fraud with his cards anyway but I do have there address.

And I like the idea about taking a chunk of my broken fence and going to beat them with it or wait until they come looking for there wallet and then beat them.
 
Why are we confessing this on a forum that gets gossip ranked in google like nobody's business? :D

This is by no means endorsement, but cash doesn't leave a paper trail in your name, and trying to give cards to friends or someone you know really tempts the bragging rights (loose lips sinks ships).
 
Aequitas said:
Anyway I said fuck it and wen't out and looked in the wallet just now and there are no credit cards, I dont think I would of pulled off the fraud with his cards anyway but I do have there address.

And I like the idea about taking a chunk of my broken fence and going to beat them with it or wait until they come looking for there wallet and then beat them.
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Maybe have someone call the guy up from a payphone til they get the voice mail, and then leave the number for some gay hotline for him to arrange a time to pick up his wallet.
 
kblessinggr said:
Why are we confessing this on a forum that gets gossip ranked in google like nobody's business? :D

This is by no means endorsement, but cash doesn't leave a paper trail in your name, and trying to give cards to friends or someone you know really tempts the bragging rights (loose lips sinks ships).
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haha except when it comes to the internet I'm probably one of the smartest people in my town.

As for confessing that some drunk drove through my fence on a public forum and I found his wallet, yeah not really a concern to me but trust me I'm smart enough to know that if I were to do something that could leave a paper trail I'd be the only person who would ever know.

I'm more the type of person that would take the time to examine all angles of something illegal before doing it.
 
Unless a neighbor got their license plate #, then you are probably the only one who knows who they are. By not telling the cops about the wallet you already saved the driver from getting a D.U.I. so I would try to contact the driver and make a deal with him as soon as possible. You could still go to the cops with the wallet if the driver wants to play hardball he's still looking at fines and restitution.
 
I'm not sure why you don't call the cops and say you found a wallet on your lawn, then the cops will go to the address and more than likely, find a vehicle with markings from your fence on the vehicle. That will tie him to hitting your fence. This guy might have been too drunk to remember. The longer you wait, the longer he has to get his vehicle fixed. (that's assuming it was his vehicle)
 
Call him and offer to sell the wallet back to him AND not give it to the cops, for exactly 3 times the cost of repairs to the fence. Then take 33% and fix the fence, take 33% and paypal it to me as consultancy fees, and take 33% and buy some good weed.
 
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